what does he mean??

Question

ok so finally my ex boyfriend jake asked me to the dance and i said yes, but there was something weird...after that, like an hour later, we were hanging out cuz ya kno, were friends, and he told me he was sry for breaking up with me and said it was cuz of family issues...and i totally believe him, his grandma and great grandma died in the same week...so when he said he was sry about that...does that mean were back together? i dont wanna ask, that would be just too weird.

Answer 1

I wuld say that u kinda r. Ur not like u used 2 b but ur not xs anymore. If u want 2 b back 2gether, be flirty, if not, make sure he nos u dont by NOT being flirty at all.

Answer 2

Yes, you are probably a couple again, but you will never hear him admit it unless you ask him first.

Two men can only say a dozen words to each other over a 2-week period and still consider themselves to be good friends. If a woman tried that then her friend would think, "What is going on here? Why isn't she talking with me, what did I do wrong? Well, if she doesn't think that our friendship is worth continuing then I am going to call her and give her a piece of my mind!" Usually, this can be all within the first 5-10 minutes.

The difference is in the genes and the male and female instincts. To females the most important thing in life is the relationship, and conversation is the only way to establish one and to build upon it. So women talk a lot more than men. I the average week a man can make do with 7,000 words while a woman needs 20,000 words. It isn't because women are chatterboxes, or gossipers; it is because they are constantly working on their relationships. Most of man's need for a community is due to women.

Men are the hunters and their primary motive in life is sex. In fact from high school on most men are thinking about sex 52% of the time. The relationship isn't that important to men. In fact their best survival tactic is to have sex with as many women and as quick as possible. I am not saying that men are pigs; it is just how we are wired.

You, boyfriend is assuming that you understand why he broke up with you and that he was sorry and now he wants to go back to a time before that happened. Men are capable of deep thoughts just as women are, but women do it by default. If you boyfriend were speaking with another man then the other man would response, "Oh, okay." Which would mean, "Ah, I see why you were so distant with me, and I understand that now. I also see that you want to go back to being friends and I agreed." He feels sorry and assumes that you will accept his apology and let things go back to normal. To a man this would be acceptable, but to a women it would be rude and insensitive.

What your boyfriend doesn’t understand is that you aren't another man and so you don't think that way. Hence the requirement for the translation from "man-ese" to "woman-ish." What you need to do, what you want to do is to talk about it. You need to establish your relationship with him and you need to explore why it went wrong and how you can make sure that it won't happen again. He probably wants the same thing, but he isn't thinking that far in advance or in that depth; you are.

I recommend that you say, "So, we're cool, we're dating again?" He will probably grunt a reply or just say, "Yes." If not then he will pause, and start something like, "Uh, I'm not so sure about that." Then once things settle down you can explore your relationship further. Just tell him that you want to understand better. Don't push him with questions like, "Where do you see us in 5 years?" I know you are dying to ask him something like this, but I am sure he has thought much about next year, never mind 5 years in advance. It is not that he is a shallow person, it is because the default male thinking mode is to look for the simple answer and be done with it.

I don’t know the level of your relationship before he suffered the death of his grandmother and great grandmother. But, if you just lean your head on his shoulder and hug him he will probably respond well thinking that you understood him. If you are not boyfriend/girlfriend then he will tense up and feel uncomfortable by this. If he accepts the hug, and I think he will, then you will know your standing. Once again, I know this is not enough for the average women, but it is for the average man. After doing this you can lead him into a discussion about your relationship, but don’t put him on the defensive, don’t insult him, and above all don’t think that he is understanding what you are saying as a woman does.

It has been said, “The British and American people, two great peoples separated by a common language.” The same is true with men and women. You may both be speaking English, but what you get out of the conversation, and what you are putting into the conversation are rarely the same in a conversation held between the sexes.

For more information on the differences between men and women and how it affects their thinking see my answer for this question: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AhrMq_Z_9YPW918ag8jmEyHsy6IX?qid=20060908130830AAz4Xnu (answer #8). I have had a few people tell me that this is an insightful answer.

Answer 3

Sorry but if u dont know for sure u will HAVE to ask im afraid. It sounds like he has got his head together since his losses & he DID ask u to the dance afterall. The signs are good. Be casual. Ask him if he would like to pick up where u left off. It sounds like he will say "yes"! There is a saying called "fortune favours the bold". In other words, u get what u desire when u go out to get it!

Answer 4

Why you brought up this question "back to gather"? Ex is ex forget it.If not means still you have a soft corner for him.Maybe while dancing with him you were getting aroused too much!Protect yourself from those false promises.How sure you're his grandma and great grandma died? These days Boys are just wondering for sex only.

Answer 5

Honey, stress makes everyone crazy at times and it sounds like he said something that came out wrong and he is apologizing for it.
I would say you are still a couple until he makes it more clear to you that you are threw.

Answer 6

cool 2 points

Answer 7

no idea,,,but dont ask him. See what happens when you go to the dance with him...and take it from there. He might ask to be with you again.

Answer 8

Just keep hanging together and your relationship will grow.

Answer 9

yes

Answer 10

he looked for someone better than u but he couldn't find any1 that could be so open to him as you.