Should my bf forgive or make peace with his adoptive father (whos dying of a brain tumor) even after the years of mental and physical abuse (due to alchohalism)?
2006-10-20 11:13:33 · 11 answers · asked by deadbirdfinder 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
No one can decide for him when or if he will forgive. He may not want to or possibly be unable to make peace. The one problem with not stepping outside his resentments and making peace is he will always live with unresolved issues. Sometimes it's just better to bite the bullet and say good bye on your own terms. Just be supportive no matter what he decides this is such a heavy time for him. He's really going to need all the affirmation you can give him no matter the choice.
2006-10-20 11:28:58 · answer #1 · answered by crkristy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Should he forgive ... I really think that has to be his decision and when he is past the hurts and pain of what has been in the past he will let go of the anger. Just because someone is in a non healthy position at this time, may not be the right time for your boyfriend. He may be in a very critical place.
I have not been in a seriously abusive relationship but I know that emotional abuse is very damaging too. It took me a long time to get over the anger and the pain and the hurt before I was at that right place. Give him time.
If the father has never ever apologized for his actions it may even take longer ... I don't think its wise to push the subject.
Don't forget he had to go through it.
He will when he is ready
2006-10-20 18:43:43 · answer #2 · answered by Spirit_Rain_3-SunShineAries 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if this answer can help your boyfriend with a decision but I was abused as a child from a step-father mentally and physically for years and years until I ran away at 16 years old. When I was younger I wenr to counseling to forgive and forget and what can I tell you but the truth, I wish this man dead. He was never ever punished for what he did to me. I suffered throughout my life with myself, low self esteem, I suffered with men and relationships because of his abuse, I am in my 50's and I will NEVER forget or forgive.....
2006-10-20 18:24:58 · answer #3 · answered by bonbon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is freedom. Many people believe that forgiveness is like telling the person who caused harm that "it is OK". But forgiveness is the act of moving away from playing the powerless role of victim.
2006-10-20 18:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiveness is a virtue and its personnel. If we want to be "forgiven" by God. We need to work on forgiving others. But that is where the 'personnel' thing comes in to play. Until you walk around in someone else shoes, you have no idea how they feel.
2006-10-20 18:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by smplyme132 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Letting go of the bitterness of anger will free your boyfriend of so much. Holding on it will only cause his stress. Tell him to let it go, forgive the father and be free of it all. He should forgive him.
2006-10-20 18:55:12 · answer #6 · answered by RenaMorris 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would say no, if his dad is sorry for all of the pain and damage that he did to his son, then maybe yes
but i think that your friend has no need to forgive his father (although it is probably the right thing to do), he has gone through too much pain and suffering
2006-10-20 18:28:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgivness is not even a concern....make peace if possible.
2006-10-20 18:21:51 · answer #8 · answered by jodie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only if he is asked for forgiveness.
2006-10-20 18:17:19 · answer #9 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, People should never hold a grudge against another person, it ruins the quality of life.
2006-10-20 19:28:55 · answer #10 · answered by turnerburn13 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋