im after having a bad day!!!!!!!!?

Question

i was supposed to be babysitting my nephew at 8 this morning but my alarm never went off, so my brother rang to say i was late for his girlfriend to go to work, grand i felt bad for being late and apologised straight away, but she just snapped at me, saying i was useless and started going on why wasnt i there at 8 and told her my alarm never went off, and started going on that im a waster with no job, yes im not employed but im waiting on a job in a creche thats guaranteed as long as they get enough chidren, any who she made me feel so small and worthless, i sat there for the first hour crying!!! not nice for my nephew, ya see the reason i think she's nasty to me is because my mother died when i was 8 and it was just myself my 2 brothers and my father then at 14 i found out my father was a on and off recovering alcoholic, so because she is with my brother she only knows his side of the story and thinks because my brother shouts at me and calls me names she has a right to do it as well

previously she has blaimed me for my father drinking, as too has my brother, they blained me for a break up they had and obviously she will never know how hard my life is, because the more they shout the more i go into a depression, at the end of the day the only reason i talk to them is of my nephew, but i dont think they will ever realise that its none of the g/friends responsibility what i do or not do, or has she any say in the matter but it really hurts me!!!! help what should i do, ps i cannot talk to my father about it as he no longer wants to talk to my brother fr own reasons, which i was trying to persuade him other wise only a couple of days ago now im feelin the same way as him

wow all the answers thank u sooooooooo much!!!!!!!!! i had a talk with my dad and although he is an alcoholic, he sat down with me and told me to stay clear of them, he had a bit of resent in him when saying it, but his point was the same as people on here, i have to add her mother usually minds my nephew, and yes they dont pay me or her mother!!!! because that woman looks after her own mother who is suffering with alzhimers!!!! so she gets payed the carers alowances!!!! they also think as im his aunty and only one at that, i should baby sit for free any way!!!! but thats good and well if i was older and working, but im 20 and yes im finding my life a bit hard to start, but im makin it my business now to gain cinfidence and make a life for myself, its better i sort it out now than 20 years down the road!!!!!!! again thanks for all the advice!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

How dare her talk to you like that... it makes me so mad. You should have left right there and then when she started making you feel bad about yourself. Girl, you need to stand up for yourself.... I would do it for you, but I'm here and you're there. I do hope that she will apologize to you big time... if she doesn't- never watch their baby again. Instead focus on finding something that keeps you busy- maybe do volunteer work- where your help is appreciated..... that way that terrible woman doesn't think you are available at all times to watch their baby.

Answer 2

I know you care a lot about your nephew, but he's not your responsibility. You have enough needs of your own that are going unmet, without being emotionally blackmailed into caring for someone else's child. Your first task is to get your own life on the straight and narrow, by finding out what training is out there that you could get cheaply or subsidised so you can get a way of making a living that'll give you a bit of self-respect. Don't fall into working in a creche just because it's all you're able to do at the moment. Think of your life as being something you can build by putting one little block on top of another until you are in a better place than now and can make better choices. Don't end up wasting your life being pulled like a bone between several dogs (your family). Start focusing on yourself and look for advice. You've had a rocky start, but you can make something good out of it - it's what your mother would want you to do. Have it as your goal to make her proud of you if she were alive. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hi, im sorry, im having a bit of a bad day also so its not just you.
First of all you have no right to take the shouting of her or off your brother. So you havent got a job, it doesnt mean your lazy. I am also unemployed and family members and non family members probabley always ***** about it behind my back, but the way i see it they dont know the situation and they should keep there nose out and get on with there own lives. This is the only way she could hurt you because you made her late to her job. I know its hard to ignore but in the future i wouldnt even bother doing them a favour anymore. If they both work why dont they spend there money and put your nephew in a crech or get a nanny, the reason why they dont do this is because its to expensive for them. If they wanted a child they should have thought who will stay at home and look after it. But they get you to do it and because you want to see your nephew you do it and get the hassel for it. I know you want to see your nephew but your health is more improtant and if you are depressed seeing them two idiots is not going to help you recover. You need to put your foot down and tell them you are not baby sitting your nephew anymore, because of the way she spoke to you, you said sorry and there was no reason for her to hurt your feelings the way she did. Just stay away from them both because if your brother is like this with you because of the past maybe he has poisoned his gf mind also.

I hope you get the job in the creche and even if you dont dont put yourself down you are not useless, you are happy and content with what you are doing with your life and you dont need anyone telling you you need to do something different.

Answer 4

Tell her to get a childminder or to pay for daycare - why should you do it just to get abuse in return. Even better, get her to put your nephew into the creche that you're waiting for the job at. It will be an addition to the numbers and when you do start there you'll get to spend time with your nephew and not have to put up with her crap.
If it were me, i'd tell her where to go. You don't need the hassal when you are so obviously down on yourself at the moment anyway.
Best of luck.

Answer 5

She is nasty to you because she is nasty. I suspect this morning was just out of frustration because she was going to be late to work -- many of us would have snapped at you for that. But, if she does this on a regular basis, I would avoid her as much as possible. And, as your brother is that way too, why bother being around them at all.

You are not small, you are not worthless, you made a mistake, now it is over. Don't let these people help you decide how to feel about yourself. You are better than that.

Answer 6

Start putting yourself first instead of trying to be the mediator for people who are obviously extremely ungrateful. It's nice you're trying to help but you're just putting yourself in the firing line.

If I were you I would stop babysitting for them because all you seem to get is abuse in exchange. Youre brother expecially should be telling his girlfriend not to speak to you in such an inappropriate manner. If she really believed you were such a "waster" she wouldn't entrust you with her child. She obviously relies on your help for babysitting but remarkably is not afraid to bite off the hand that feeds her - tell her to find another mug to babysit and maybe she'll start realising how much she really needs the so-called "useless" you.

Answer 7

You were helping them out by babysitting your nephew in the first place. This Girlfriend sounds like a complete b!tch, Rather than you get depressed about it stand up to her and your brother. Tell them exactly what you think. If your like me, you'll feel bad about it but it will soon pass and they'll have learnt not to treat you like dirt. You're better than that and don't let anyone tell you any different x x x

Answer 8

why is he phoning to say u are late for his girlfriend to go to work. if he is there why doesn't he look after him till u get there, its not the end of the world im sure their alarm clock has not gone of before which has made them late. You deserve better get her to fcuk if she cant treat you with some respect then don't bother u are the one doing her a favour. families are complicated. i know it will be hard but leave them to it u will be a lot happier in the long run do you want them to still be treating you this in 10 years time cos they will if u let them i know this as i am speaking for experience no one has the Right to treat you like that. they want to stop living in the past and dragging you down with them

Answer 9

Ask your brother and his girlfriend if you are such a bad person ,a waster,worthless etc..why would they want o leave the child with such a bad person??what does that make them??I wouldn't leave my child with someone that i disrespected or thought was a bad person..your children learn from what they see and hear so they are just as much of a water and loser if they would leave their child with someone they disrespect and treat worthless..make them find and pay a real sitter they will then realize all the hard work and sacrifice it is to take care of kids for a living....and hopefully realize that they owe you big-time

Answer 10

i would talk to her. if she doesnt' listen and won't apologize then bring your brother into it. have him sit there so you all can work it out. if he's going to take her side and they are both going to gang up on you.....then get out of their. apologize to your nephew that you can't spend as much time with him anymore. but you need some time away from them. thats abusive behavior. thats no way to treat any human being no matter what happened. talk to them and let them know how much it hurt you and brought you to tears. as far as the rest of the stuff......see a counsellor. you need to talk to someone to work out issues that you have from the trauma you experienced growing up. your loss and grief. not just your mother.....but your father as well. cause growing up in an alcoholic home with an alcoholic parent is still a loss