What do you really think about suicide?????

Question

i was abused when i was little and have never been able to move on from it. i have tried to kill myself several times and self harm. i know that it hurts the people who love me but i can't help it. was feeling ok for a while and had stopped cutting but got drunk last week and cut my leg. have also been having thoughts about dying again. ive had counselling, seen psyciatrist, am on anti-depressants and am Hopefully taking the dirty f***er to court. i just feel that its always gonna be there and i'm always gonna want to die to make the pain go away!!!!! its not like i have nothing to live for, i am engaged and have 2 kids & great job. what is wrong with me???????

Answer 1

I cant tell u what is wrong with you. You need a qualified professional to tell you that. I am very sorry for what you had to go through. One thing I can tell you though is that witha loving family and 2 kids, committing suicide is the most selfish thing that you could do. Im sorry to be so blunt but if you care about your kids and your fiance and your family more than you care about yourself then get the suicidal thoughts out of yor mind and be as strong as you can. Committing suicide is only going to pass off your pain onto everyone who loves you. How would you have felt if your mum had committed suicide when you were a child? Wouldnt u still feel betrayed and responsible. Please dont do that to your kids. They deserve more than that and so do you. You need to talk to your fiance about these feelings and fight them together. You need professional help because this is a serious issue. But committing suicide is not going to help anyone.

Answer 2

I just went back into your profile, which gave me more insight into your question. No, you are not a freak. Your first posting, if you go back and re read the answers, show a lot of compassion to the victim - you..There will be some jerks at work that may be gossiping about your scars, but I believe most of your co-workers are not. I once had a co-worker who had obviously self inflicted
scars all over one arm. Not one of my other co-workers said anything in my hearing about them. And she seems to be a normal, cheerful woman today.
Considering what you went through, your feelings of depression, anxiety, self-hate, and paranoia are completely normal. I hope you are still taking your meds and seeing your psychiatrist. I always had a tendency to avoid seeing my therapist when I screwed up.
It didn't work for me, either.
I am sure you realize you are shooting yourself in the foot every time you self medicate with booze or street drugs, especially pot.. You know that using these substances stop any good effect the medications have, as well as using tells you " I f****d up again. All I am is a f****p!" You just proved that by the way you are feeling right now, I Been there, done that, don't wanna go there again.
Please be aware that no matter what happens, the dirty f***er will get less than he deserves, like being kneecapped and castrated for a start. Facing him and seeing some justice served will help validate yourself. The hate of yourself will fade, and gradually after that, even your hate for him. When all you can think about is revenge, you are the only person that is harmed. Stop and think about it. He is not the one in depression and cutting himself; you are.
I wish you the courage to face this and recover. Good Luck, and let us know how you are doing from time to time. OK? Most of us care.

Answer 3

You need to find someone who can actually help you.
And I don't care what people say but everyone thinks about dying/suicide/their own death sometimes; however unpleasant.
You should add exercises to your daily routine and spend time in some type of meditation or prayer, but you probably already do.
I was abused, stereotypically, by my uncle when I was little. I used to cut myself. I tried to electrocute myself as a child to stop the pain. I've been on antidepressants but they made it alot worse. I'm on Xanax now, but I only take it on days that are really bad. I don't need to add an addiction to my problems.
Suicide is not the way out, you'll be leaving things undone and perhaps regret it. The only time I think its ok, personally, is with terminal illness.
I sincerely hope things get better for you & I said a prayer for you.
Hang in there and get some help that is actually help!

Answer 4

I know this has been said before but I would consider suicide as the abuser winning, the thing you have to remember is they had the problem not you, the fact is what happened is never going to change but you can. Look at all the good things you have write them down in a list and every time you feel bad read them, also it may (or may not) help you if you write down everything that happened to you. I agree also with a support group you will realise that you are not the only person that feels this bad and are not alone, good luck

Answer 5

First of all, forget about suicide as it is very satanic but considering your circumstances you cannot stop the human mind from thinking negative thoughts. Get more counselling and feel that society, your family and friends need you; that you're an important element in society and in building the society in which you live in. Let the abuser know you're strong and more of a better humanbeing than he'll ever be. Try to put the ordeal at the back of your mind and forge ahead with life, though it's not an easy. Occupy your life with interesting things, your kids, your work and try going on vacation. Life is beautiful and sweet so make the most of it.

Answer 6

No one should have to endure the pain you must be suffering. I was sexually assaulted on 1 occasion and it nearly destroyed me, so trying to cope with child abuse is unthinkable. Then on top of that is the depression. It takes over everything, makes you physically and emotionally empty, i will never forget how i felt when i was at my absolute lowest. And you can't appreciate anything positive in your life. You have turned to self harm and suicide whereas i turned to drugs, complete self destruction. You must go back to your psychiatrist and ask for help. I ended up in a psychiatric unit where i went through a detox and to find out what medication suited me best. That was over 2 years ago.Im now slowly putting my life back together and i feel really good. There is help out there for you so fight hard to get it, you deserve it. There is a light at the end of that tunnel, i saw it and ran straight for it. I wish you all the luck in the world.

Answer 7

There is nobody that can tell you what to do or what is wrong with you. You have to make the decision yourself. Think about what your kids will do if you kill yourself. Can you imagine the pain they will go through, too. I have always thought that suicide was for people that gave up on life and couldn't find a better soultion for their problems. But with you, things seem different, I don't know how, but they are. Keep in there and keep fighting. Hopefully that dirty f↓♫↓♫↓ didn't do anything to some other kid, too.

Answer 8

It sounds like you need God. I don't just say this by way of being preachy - eternal perspective makes all the difference. Thing is, it's not enough to just read the scriptures and/or believe that God is the creator - you need to get to know his power in your life. Sincere prayer is a good place to start - even if that prayer is asking if God really is there.
If you do already go to church, it seems like you need to energise your faith. See how you can help the community around you. Find a way to make a difference. Building your self esteem - together with relation with God and those around you - is key to your sanity at this time.
Some people say that religion / faith is for the weak. You know why they say that? It's because it makes you stronger. Don't turn down the opportunity to get to know God. Even if you feel like He's let you down in the past, give Him a chance - he still loves you and wants the best for you.

Answer 9

I have worked in mental health for over 20 years and till this day I have never, ever met a person or family that is grateful that their loved one has committed suicide. All I have seen are shattered lives, broken hearts and immense sorrow following it. Not to mention the survivors of the suicide sense of anger, guilt, shame and utter disbelief.

But that's only my experience

Answer 10

Well having tried various options (therapy, med) it seems that you feel you have no choice but to commit suicide as you feel like you have no other way out to escape these painful feelings.

But I am thinking have you thought about finding out if there are any support groups in your area that are aimed specifically for victims of abuse? Maybe if you were to talk about your experiences with people who went through similar experieces it may help to release some of the the pain. Furthermore other people in similar situations can offer advice on how to deal with the difficulties you experience. By learning how to cope with waht has happened and to not allow it to affect your future you will find that the your desire to commit suicide will fade over time.