my father...whom i have just recently started talking to again....has began to bring on the drama again....my dad is a correctional officer and so he always thinks that he is surperior to EVERYONE else. My fiancee and i got into a VERY Very small argument one day not too long ago while i was down at my father's house. ....Well, now he hates my fiancee and tries everything to keep us apart....he keeps trying to get me to go out and meet other men...and he talks very abdly about him when i am around .....he's driving me crazy.....i want to just tell him but then he would tell me just to not talk to him at all....what do i do? can I be without a true father in my life....or do i really need me....he is HONESTLY hurting me more now than he has EVER helped me!!!! Help please......
2006-10-20 07:04:44 · 7 answers · asked by ~Welcome Abigail Grace~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I'm sorry that your father has lost control of himself when he knows hes in an uncontrollable situation, as a father of two daughters I know what hes going through, I also realize that you will have to make it point blank to him to accept the fact that you are a grownup and now is the time to treat you as such, you now have your life to consider and you have your own mistakes to make, he must accept him ( your fiance) or lose you both, and if he realizes that he may miss his daughter walking down that isle, then he just may learn to come around and accept the life you have chosen for yourself. tell him how you feel when he talks down on him, but let him know that its you hes whipping when he does.....
Its one of the hardest things to do you know!...to watch your daughter leave your arm of protection, to know that you have spent so much of your life working to provide a security for the one you would die for in a heart beat if the time ever came ...to know that your security and protection you devoted to your daughter is now in the hands of another man...he is man who knows how to make bad guys do what they are told, he knows how to make men look the other way with that I mean business if you want it glare...but he doesn't know how to handle his little girl going away, and he doesn't know how to handle time lost with others when he could have been with you more. If you have to spend some time away from your father for a cool down period then do it , just remember this his job raising you is over,oh he will always be your dad that job never ends...he loves you and you know it but hes got hes got you to the bus stop, now its up to you to lay out the rest of your life with or with out him .
also ask him how he would react to your mothers father treating him the way hes treating your fiance and compare.
Hoping you find peace in the family
2006-10-20 07:45:07 · answer #1 · answered by madeawareofyou 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself this ? how do you what to spend your life! 1) Do you what to be miserable the rest of your life? You see you only have 1 father. He is just looking out for you (that's his job) as a concerned father. I say this because I'm a father of a daughter myself. 2) You can replace a fiancee! you can never replace your dad. and 3) being a cop he sees things that you my not see because love is blind. good luck! and remember this dads will be dads (very protective)!!
2006-10-20 14:36:46 · answer #2 · answered by ken 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to be starting a life with your fiance. At some point you have to realize that your father is disrespecting you by insulting your fiance. You really need to tell your dad (in a nice way) that he is not to talk about your future husband that way. You are an adult, adn he needs to respect the man you chose, whether he likes him or not. If he loves you, he will respect your candor, and things will shape up in the end.
2006-10-20 14:09:41 · answer #3 · answered by smashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not spoke to my father in 3-4 yrs and I am a much happier person. My father always spoke bad about my mom's family and my mom and I told him to stop and if he didn't I was gone. Well he didn't and I left. My life actually seems better without his negativity around. You have to search your heart and do what you think is best for you. Good luck!
2006-10-20 14:42:40 · answer #4 · answered by la_southern_femme 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him you love and respect him, that the way he talks to you and your fiancee hurts your feelings and you do no like his attitude when you come to visit. No threats, just the facts.
2006-10-20 14:21:17 · answer #5 · answered by Alterfemego 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. Let him know that you are an adult now and capable of making your own decisions. Let him know that he will have to respect your decisions or lose you.
2006-10-20 15:04:22 · answer #6 · answered by ammecalo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your father is ruining your life pull away again.
2006-10-20 14:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by Inez 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋