my daughter who is 5 just had surgery yesturday, and her father is out of town, he has not yet called to check on her. he called yesturday and talked to his mother about how she was ding, but that was over 24 hours ago, he has not yet called my house to see how she is doing or to talk to her. should i call him, or wait and see how long it takes him to call her?
2006-10-20 06:47:40 · 21 answers · asked by merrittmom03 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
no, the father and i are not together. He has someone eles, and is mad at me cause i will not allow her to be around out children, caue she had hers taken by the state becaue of abuse. but every since him and her have been together, his children have become second in his life and she is first! I am not worried about him calling me, but my daughter does have the right to hear from her father, and he is hurting her by not calling!
2006-10-20 06:56:05 · update #1
nt like i need to explain my self, nut the only reason i am on the computer is cause she is napping!!!
2006-10-20 06:59:54 · update #2
the father and i are divorced!
2006-10-20 07:04:17 · update #3
I would be pretty mad. No matter where he is he should have at least called. My step son, 6, had surgery last week and my husband took off work and he and I went to the surgery. Then, called his mom 3 or 4 times throughout the day after he went home. There is not excuse for not calling. I might wait another day, but then if he hasn't called, I'd call him.
2006-10-20 06:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by #3ontheway! 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I would start by trying to call him. If you cannot get a hold of him, then wait. It is possible that something has happened in his life that has made it impossible to call. It's important to wait and find out the whole story before reacting. Once you have found out, decide whether the reason he did not call is legitimate. If he simply forgot, I would be pretty upset. The more serious the surgery, the more upset I would be. In the event that there is no good reason for him to have not called, I would talk to him about it and explain clearly how you are hurt and how your daughter is hurt by his actions. It is important for him to realize that acting in such a way is harmful to your family and your relationship and his relationship with his daughter - regardless of whether you are married or living together. If he cares about his daughter, he needs to stay in her life in a positive way. But also remember to forgive. Don't ever become a doormat, establish boundaries and don't become a victim if this behavior becomes repeated. But don't hold grudges either - it will hurt you and it will hurt your daughter. You can establish boundaries without holding grudges. Fighting parents bring an unbearable amount of stress into a child's life. Forgiveness sometimes takes time, and again, it doesn't mean being a doormat, but it is freeing and it will also show your daughter a better way to live.
2006-10-20 14:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be upset as well. I went through a similar situation, but my ex got thrown out of the hospital when I was in labor because he was being such a jerk. Our daughter had surgery when she was three months old and not one member of his family called or showed up to see her, including him. Now he shows up once every 6 months or so to take her shopping and play daddy for a day (she is now 7) I do not talk negatively about him to her. I just am letting her form her own opinions. I hope things go better for you with your situation. I also understand you not wanting him to take your daughter around his new g/f, especially since her kids were taken away. Good Luck.
2006-10-20 14:11:55 · answer #3 · answered by sjl6987 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im sure he really cares and has her on his mind. But some men just don't take the time out to check on there kids like a mother would do. Its just in their nature. (Are you two together?) If not, he is probably not used to doing it so it probably slipped his mind. I wouldnt call him though. What are you gonna say when you call him? You know she is ok and that is all that matters. Forget him just take care of your baby girl..
2006-10-20 13:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by MonaLisa 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nope,we chose them.my ex is the same way.we just have to love our children even more when there is an absent parent.children should only have to live,laugh,and be loved always.i think the absent parent feels guilty and has a hard time facing the child or the mother.
2006-10-20 14:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by melissalolly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet you and him argue everytime he calls. Although, that is not an excuse for him not calling his daughter. I do not blame you for not allowing your daughter to be around his girlfriend if she adbuses her own children, but iis there someone you trust that your x- husband can get along with that will chaperon when your husband is with his daughter. I know, because I was there, that it is tempting to bad mouth your x-husband to your daughter but for her sake do not do it.
2006-10-20 14:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by bettyswestbrook 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forget he exists. You cannot force a man to love a child he didn't have any intention of loving from the beginning. He will regret his decision down the road, and your daughter probably won't forgive him because by that time, she'll have realized what a jack*** he is.
2006-10-20 14:36:29 · answer #7 · answered by SassySours 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He probably hasn't called because he anticipates your hostile attitude. Men are more fragile than we think, and you are just assuming the worst without really knowing how he feels. Get over yourself..... It sounds like you're more focused on whether or not he's called than your child. And for that matter, what the H@#( are you doing on a computer talking to stragers about BS like this when your 5 year old child had surgery yesterday!?!?! People amaze me!
2006-10-20 13:57:57 · answer #8 · answered by favrd1 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Does mother & father live together??? If not wait for him to call you or call her to see how she is doing, it is his obligation as a father to check how she did .... If days pass by and he doesn't call then don't figth about it he will know if he is doing bad or wrong.... Best wishes 4 your daugther wet well soon !!!
2006-10-20 13:52:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
unless your daughter has asked about him i would't bother you need to let this stress go you've got a child to care for i know what it's like to want to call and go hey it's your kids birthday but if he only calls becouse you reminded him what kind of concern does he really have? if he doesn't want to be there thats his choice, you can help your daughter deal with it when she's older
2006-10-20 13:55:20 · answer #10 · answered by carmenkey44 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋