My dating partner (47 year old) and I (28 year old) had been dating for 13 months. On Oct 13th, 2006, when I told him that I was pregnant with his children (8 weeks-twins), the guy wanted to leave me alone, not wanted to be with me and the baby, denied that it's not his baby, or trying to avoid taking responsibility for the baby. I am an international student, No family in Canada. The guy even threatened to not go for DNA test if I decide to deliver the babies. He asked me to talk to his lawyer and said in Canada No court order can force him to do the DNA test. In the other word, I can't prove he is the bio-father of the twins seeking some child support in the future. I don't know whether to go for abortion or deliver the babies to punish him. Please help!
2006-10-20 06:20:14 · 16 answers · asked by Lil 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Never use children as punishment cause you're the one at fault for having sex out of marriage.....if you were married you'd probably be more protected by the law.
Be a woman! Raise these kids on your own and raise them well. Next time you hook up with someone, make sure they're worth your heart.
2006-10-20 06:24:26 · answer #1 · answered by Zoila 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do you want these babies? Are you 100% certain he is the father?
If yes to both, have those babies. Take him to court. And I don't know WHO told you this, but a court CAN and WILL demand a DNA test if he continues to deny it.....It has happened!!! The court will need proof before they make their decision. You can prove it...trust me. Sounds like they are trying to tell you big lies about our Canadian family court systems. Just because you aren't from here. I mean if you want to have these children, he cannot stop you. It is your body and if you don't want to have an abortion...DONT. Besides, abortions are dumb. If you weren't gonna keep them the least you could do is put them up for adoption. There are plenty of people out there that would want your babies, that can't have children.
** If the ABORTION was HIS idea, TELL HIM YOU ARE NOT A BABY KILLER!!!!!!
*** If you cannot afford a lawyer, I am sure that you will be able to get a Legal Aid Lawyer, considering your circumstances.
2006-10-20 14:21:05 · answer #2 · answered by Cblack22 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, he is lying to you. You can get a court order for a DNA Test. He probably just said that just to scare you. If you are a student at a university you should look in to legal counsel offered by the university (not sure if they do this in Canada, they do in the US). You can ask them questions so you can get a better understanding of what you can do, and what you will have to do.
In terms of your last comment, I hope that you were just saying that out of spite. I am pro-choice, but I have to say that your children should not be used as a weapon towards anyone. In the end only you know what is best for you. Here is a link on mandatory peternity testing in Canada: http://www.canadiancrc.com/Mandatory_paternity_testing.htm
Hope that helps.
2006-10-20 14:02:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A baby is not a tool for punishment. A baby is a defensless little thing that is absolutely adorable and will look to you for protection and love. You need to grow up--you're 28 years old and you should know better. Take care of these precious gifts given to you--do you know how many people are out there who would die for what you have. Don't listen to this man. If you want to or need to (and not out of spite) visit your own attorney and see what the law is. There should be no charge for the consult (I work in the industry).
2006-10-20 13:32:50 · answer #4 · answered by Jamie T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Adoption is always an option. If he wants nothing to do with them then he will sign off on them and let them be adopted. Having them and keeping them will not punish him, but it will punish the children and you. At 47 he is old enough to be your children's grandfather. I can see why he would be afraid to take on raising a "new crop", but he should have used protection and is still responsible if you decide to keep the babies. He will also have to prove he isn't their father.
2006-10-20 13:35:32 · answer #5 · answered by Joanne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those babies need you. You don't need him. There are resources you can find that will help you, you should ask around. Check at the health clinics and when you get numbers, call the numbers and ask for more numbers. If you do not want the babies, then adoption is the best option. Abortion is can hurt you physically and mentally. I don't believe in it, but you should do research. I kept my son after his dad left, and he is the best thing I have going in my life. Plus, family and friends could help you if you ask.
2006-10-20 14:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by reds_777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
deliver those babies honey. They are a gift from God. The babies did not ask to be brought in the world so don't punish the babies by killing them by having an abortion. IF he denies them oh well you raise them and teach them so they don't make the same dumb mistake you made.
2006-10-20 13:41:28 · answer #7 · answered by Sherry 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok personally if you don't love him i would give it up. I'm not for abortion and I'm not against it either. If you love this baby you will have it. If you don't give it up. Abortion or adoption, if adoption make it open because the children are going to want to know who there mother is.Second, he has to take a DNA test. Threaten to put in the newspaper or something, if he is rich. but i wouldn't have his nasty children anyway!
2006-10-20 13:26:19 · answer #8 · answered by Yumi-chan 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Would you abort the babies if your boyfriend died? Probably not. So, why would you abort two precious babies just because the father won't be in their lives? That's not a good enough reason to kill your babies. Please go to the courts and ask them for help. I wish you luck, it will be hard doing it on your own, but you will find a way. Congrats on your babies!
2006-10-20 15:07:12 · answer #9 · answered by Caelan's mom 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Punish him"? By delivering or killing two babies? Great ideas.
Grow up. Give the children up for adoption and go back to whatever country you are visiting from.
Holy Crap.
2006-10-20 13:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋