Ok. I am 20 years old. I was adopted when I was 8 years old. Lived with my severly mentally disabled birth mom until I was 5. To this day, she, nor anyone else, knows who my birth father is. Was with SO many men at the time I was concieved, she has absolutely no idea. So, how do I go about finding my birth father? When I was younger, like age 10, we did DNA testing on possible "suspects." Should I try DNA testing again? Is there anyway that it is possible that a match could be found through searching police DNA databases? Do they do that? I am just so confused. Any ideas?
2006-10-20 05:39:01 · 6 answers · asked by collegechickbre 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
* I only ask because i would like to know if there are any health concerns from his side that I would need to know about.*
2006-10-20 06:00:48 · update #1
I am wondering if your mom was getting any outside intervention from any family/friends/services around the time that you were concieved. I know that you said that no one knows, and I'm not sure how much you were asking around, but that may be a place to check if you haven't already. It was in the early 80's that a lot of services for folks with disabilities began really stepping up. Some way before that, so if your mom was getting any kind of help, that may be a place to start. Back then they were much more restrictive, so there might be somewhere that names are listed for the visitors that your mother had. It's a stretch, but it's possible.
Unfortunately, many individuals with a mental disability are used and/or abused sexually. The last figure I heard was 90%, so I just want you to be prepared that if you DO happen to find your father, he may be someone who did not care that your mother had disabilities, so he may not have cared that you were concieved.
However, I can understand your need to know. If you think that he might have an idea that your mom got pregnant, post on some of the adoption boards about your situation. You never know who might come across it. Go and talk to EVERYBODY that you can think of. It may sound crazy, and it's not for everyone (not for me anyway), but contact some of the talk shows and see if they would be willing to let you come on and talk about your story to get it out there. It's amazing how small the world can be if you start talking to the right people.
As for DNA testing, I know that they have services where you can get your DNA and they can tell you a little bit about your family history (general stuff like Northern European ancestry, etc), but that might give you a lead. www.ancestry.com has some information on DNA testing for those purposes.
It sounds like you are very passionate about this and really have a need to know, just for you personally, so good luck in your search.
2006-10-20 06:05:30 · answer #1 · answered by sunshineandsilliness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think DNA can help with finding birth relatives on father's side for females yet. I have a similar situation too so I understand your need to know. There is a national DNA project. You can find info at www.SMGF.ORG where they can match possible relatives on mother's side and father's side for male children. They are hoping to come up with a way to match father's side too for daughter's too in the near future so don't give up. They do free DNA testing on anybody from what I understand to get a world wide DNA database.
2006-10-20 05:45:10 · answer #2 · answered by lucy02 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably not. DNA testing is expensive, and all of this took place 20 years ago. With so many candidates, you chances are nil to zero. Spend your energies on more productive things. Besides, no one can be forced to give bodily samples for DNA testing against their will in a non criminal situation. And what would you hope to gain? The love of some guy who had a one night stand? Not very likely.
2006-10-20 05:43:27 · answer #3 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry, but I can't imagine why you'd want to. What would be the point? What are you hoping to find? Weren't you adopted by a loving family who took care of you and raised you? Why would you want to find someone who was basically a sperm donor? I personally think you should celebrate and cherish what you have, not start feeling like crap because your bio mom was mental and some male just happened to have screwed her. Surely your adoptive parents have given you more than that in life. Why even go there??
2006-10-20 05:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
start in the town she got pregnant in. you can put an ad in the paper asking for all the men who knes her at the time you were conceived.then you could talk to them and aks which ones slept with her and then get them to do dna testing
2006-10-20 05:47:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jim B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know you are curious as to who your father is, but if your mother can not give you a name then it will be extremely difficult. i am not sure if police do DNA searches but you could try. best of luck
2006-10-20 05:47:11 · answer #6 · answered by S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋