Once upon a time there was a sperm named Stanley who lived inside a famous movie actor. Stanley was a very healthy sperm. He'd do push-ups and somersaults and limber himself up all the time, while the other sperm just lay around on their fat asses not doing a thing.
One day, one of them became curious enough to ask Stanley why he excercised all day.
Stanley said, "Look pal, only one sperm gets a woman pregnant and when the right time comes, I am going to be that one."
A few days later, they all felt themselves getting hotter and hotter, and they knew that it was getting to be their time to go. They were released abruptly and, sure enough, there was Stanley swimming far ahead of all the others.
All of a sudden, Stanley stopped, turned around, and began to swim back with all his might. "Go back!! Go back!!!" he screamed. "It's a ********!"
2006-10-20 05:36:22 · 24 answers · asked by hazelshine 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
ITS A BL*W JOB!!
2006-10-20 05:37:48 · update #1
that was hilarious. I really liked that. OOOH that was funnnnny
2006-10-20 06:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sherry 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a scene in a Woody Allen movie
2006-10-20 06:14:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ROFLOL (Rolling On Floor Laughing Out Loud!) Too funny. Goodone!
2006-10-20 05:43:28 · answer #3 · answered by KittyKattsMeow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You joke wasn't funny but Specters Gravy lady was
2006-10-20 06:22:03 · answer #4 · answered by starlight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
guy attempting to %. woman up: How lots does a polar undergo weigh? woman: Uh...idk guy: adequate to interrupt the ice---am i able to have you ever're quantity? hahaa as quickly as I heard that i laughed so there you pass :)
2016-11-24 19:54:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't laugh...............try dis
Here 4joke 4u.
Once Upon a Time Little Red Riding Hood...
Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest to her grandmother's house. She was carrying a basket full of wonderful goodies for her and her grandmother to eat...
she also had a big gun to protect herself in the woods.
One day Little Red Riding Hood came upon a Fox. The fox looked at Little Red and says "Little Red Riding hood, what are you doing walking in the forest by yourself. You know if the wolf catches you he will rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."
Little Red sighs and smiles at the fox and slowly opens her basket and shows the fox her gun and says "No he won't, see I have a gun to protect myself." She smiles and skips away from the fox to her grandmother's house.
Little red gets deep within the forest when she comes upon a bear who wanders up to her and smells the yummy food in the basket then thinks to himself for a second and says, "What are you, stupid, Little Red? You know if the Wolf catches you alone in the forest he's going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties."
Little Red shows the bear the big gun in her basket and smiles, "No he won't I have a big gun in my basket ...." She pulls out the gun "See, nothing can harm me." Little Red smiles and skips to grandmother's house.
Little red finally makes it to grandmother's house...and knocks on the door...no one answers so she goes right in. She walks to the bed, sees the Wolf and screams as the Wolf yells, "Little Red Riding Hood, I am going to rip your clothes off and fondle your titties!"
The wolf reaches out to her and Little Red smiles and pulls out her gun and yells, "No you're not! You are going to EAT ME, JUST LIKE THE BOOKS SAYS!"
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A Fishy Story
Two avid fishermen go on a fishing trip. They rent all the equipment: the reels, the rods, the wading suits, the rowboat, the car, and even a cabin in the woods. They spend a fortune.
The first day they go fishing, but they don't catch anything. The same thing happens on the second day, and on the third day. It goes on like this until finally, on the last day of their vacation, one of the men catches a fish.
As they're driving home they're really depressed. One guy turns to the other and says, "Do you realize that this one lousy fish we caught cost us fifteen hundred dollars?"
The other guy says, "Wow! It's a good thing we didn't catch any more!"
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Golfing With Wife
A lovely afternoon finds one fellow and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.
Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. He friend, wanting to please him, makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
"No," the man replies, "last time I did that I got two over par."
------------------------------...
Don't Lie to Mom
John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."
Lesson of the day... Don't Lie To Your Mother.
2006-10-20 06:08:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not really funny...but I doubt it will do me any harm.
After all, there are plenty of other jokes.
2006-10-20 07:00:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
not funny. got the joke but still not funny
2006-10-20 05:40:30 · answer #8 · answered by herd at work 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I heard it as he was jerkin off
2006-10-20 05:41:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Not funny.
2006-10-20 05:38:15 · answer #10 · answered by Salami and Orange Juice 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋