I have a 3 year old who just runs stupid when we go shopping. If I don't end up loosing him, he starts playing up and throwing things off shelves. I have resorted to putting him on a lead but gee I get some mean looks and feel like a terrible mother! He does calm down and behave, however.
2006-10-20 04:17:08 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No, I don't think it's mean!! Other people need to realize that there are kids out there that need to be put on a lead. It is only temporary, and it IS for the child's safety. You know your child better than anybody, and you know what he is capable of. You are being a responsible parent. I think everyone has seen some kids out there who should be on a lead and are not. Just ignore the dirty looks, and when you get home just give your boy a big hug and be thankful that you have him. Too many overactive kids get hurt by running wild in stores and PARKING LOTS!! or go MISSING!!
Keep up the good work!
it WILL get better,
2006-10-20 04:28:18 · answer #1 · answered by Meli 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Before I became a mother, I would have said 'yes' to this question. But now that I have a 2 year old and a 7 month old accompanying me in stores, I have to say "no," it's not mean. My two year has learned how to unhook the latch in his stroller and runs into streets, parking lots, around corners, etc. He's laughing as he's doing this and means no harm but he could get hurt or worse. So, I have a very safe harness lead that I bought at Baby Depot. I don't care what people think, my child is not going to get hit by a car. It was also very useful in the airport when traveling overseas. I didn't have to chase him around when transferring flights and I didn't have to worry about losing him.
2006-10-20 11:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by eightieschic 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, tough call. If possible, can you save all your shopping until one day out of the week and then hire a sitter for just that day? That's what my mother did, and there were four of us kids in my family. If you can't do that, try and put him in a stroller. If he throws a tantrum, after a little bit of time just leave the store and come back another day. This can teach him that he's not the boss and he won't always get what he wants (ie, he'll learn to behave).
2006-10-20 11:21:40 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. Lissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make him hold your hand or ride in the shopping cart.
If it's a last resort, I guess it's better than losing him, but I don't think that he's really going to LEARN any long-term lessons from it... you can't keep him on a lead forever; you'll eventually have to teach him self-control and restraint.
You say that he behaves better when he's on it, so obviously he's made a correllation... have you ever tried just threatening him with it? Bring it with you, show it to him, and tell him if he doesn't behave he'll have to wear it. Point out that none of the other kids are wearing one. Perhaps if you can associate it with embarrassment, he'll start to learn to behave himself without it.
Just my thoughts.
2006-10-20 11:25:06 · answer #4 · answered by xxandra 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't listen to most of these people.
They say putting him on a lead where he can run around freely as he likes and stay near you is cruel, in stead he should be stuck in a seat in the cart where he is completely immobilized.
Apparently sticking him in a seat he can't get out of is kinder?
That said, 3 seems a little old for a lead to me. It's more appropriate for younger kids. I would encourage you to work with him, he's old enough to understand expected behaviour and consequences. he's old enough to understand that IF he behaves well, he doesn't need the lead.
2006-10-20 11:46:09 · answer #5 · answered by kheserthorpe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have some parents use them to control their children, I admit I don't really like seeing that. Put him in the cart, if he still doesn't behave, I would let him know that if he continues to act this way in the store then he will not be able to go to the store with me anymore, this may calm him down. If this does not work, the next time that you go to the store, let someone baby sit him for a couple of hours while you shop,you will be more relaxed and he will know that you mean business.
2006-10-20 11:24:38 · answer #6 · answered by Urchin 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think it is. I just don't see the point. It's as if a parent is treating their child as an animal--when it's their fault the child doesn't mind in the first place. I have a five year old who has lived with us since he was three years old. At that age he was a wild child--he had some crazy parents before us. We slowly taught him how to behave in public. A few times when he'd run off (as long as he wasn't disturbing anyone else) we'd let him go then get out of his sight--we could see him of course but he couldn't see us. He would get so scared when he knew we weren't around--then we'd go pick him back up. After about three times of doing that he made sure to stay with us. Try that a couple times and I guarantee you'll have great results.
As for the lead--to me and I'm sure other parents it's just like a parent making it public that they didn't instill discipline early on. I don't think that about every parent of course but it makes me wonder. I'm not saying you are a bad parent--I'm sure you are great but it just makes people wonder.
As for people suggesting to wait to go shopping until the child is not around. That's not good either because then when you do go out with him you'll end up with an even more wild of a child. That's actually what had happened to my five year old--he'd get so excited going out he'd have poor behavior.
As for the Army wife. Air Force wife right here...I have boys who are bad at times and never used a leash. While my husband was deployed and I had a new born and four year old--did I use a leash--NO!
Sorry to say guys--you have to pay attention to your kids in public! You can't just put them on a frickin leash and ignore them! I can not believe this.
2006-10-20 11:23:03 · answer #7 · answered by .vato. 6 · 2⤊ 4⤋
I used to think it was very wrong. But I've changed my mind. Some kids really do need it. If they would get hurt or lost otherwise, then use it. A child's safety should mean more to you then mean looks from strangers. Everyone seems to think they know what's best for other people's children, but only you know what is right for your kid when it comes to something like this.
2006-10-20 11:20:17 · answer #8 · answered by chalinsumner 4 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Iam sure iam about to get the snot bashed out of me (between this question and the one from the mother who's son had paint on his shirt) but in my honest opinion, in all the years ive worked with kids, raised my brothers, been a nanny, baby sat, or otherwise cared for children an out of control child in public is one who is poorely parented at home.
Leads, leashes, ropes and other means of manually controling children instead of teaching them how to control themselves in public just make the parents life easier, lets them off the hook for teaching the child and provides nothing for the benefit of the child except another way of being physically contained.
I only had one out of control child in public more than once (the first time the problem was solved before we got home) and it was an 8 year old girl I nannied who's parents refused to help me teach her self control, they believed she should be allowed to act however she felt at the moment. That'll be a fun teenager some day.
My gramma, who is the youngest of 11, yes, eleven children, cringes when she sees kids leashed like dogs. One mother, 11 kids, they never needed to leash a child.
Anyway, Fire away, iam sure that was many kinds of offensive. :)
2006-10-20 11:24:01 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I have used them on my kids in very busy places. Not inly could someone take your child but he could just get lost in the shuffle. He will learn the limits of what he can do and where he can go and you will have the peace of mind that he won't get lost or kidnapped. Who cares what other people think- your child is safe.
2006-10-20 11:24:53 · answer #10 · answered by therealprinsess 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋