3 weeks ago we picked up our son from preschool and his jacket was missing -- the teachers didn't have any idea that it was even gone. We were given explanations that he probably left it on the playground, and questioned if we were sure he had brought one. It was 50˚ that day! We repeatedly asked about it, something we were not going to let slip by, but it seemed to have disappeared and looked as though we were not going to get it back.
Today I saw another child wearing it when I dropped my son off. What should I do? If another parent made a mistake then that's one thing, but c'mon -- you KNOW what clothes are your child's and what clothes aren't. As a responsible adult wouldn't you notice that it didn't belong to you and return it to the teachers?
My question is this: Is it appropriate for me to take it back?
2006-10-20 04:07:41 · 20 answers · asked by mailforgina 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Absolutely certain it belongs to my son, we put his initials inside all jackets, coats, hats, etc., usually in an inconspicuous place. I wouldn't blame the child, however, most of the kids in his class are only 3-4 years old and wouldn't know what belongs to them necessarily.
2006-10-20 05:11:23 · update #1
Off course it is. Just make sure the teacher is present.
2006-10-20 04:10:00 · answer #1 · answered by Osunwole Adeoyin 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This really doesn't have to be an awkward situation (especially sinceyou had the foresight to label your young child's clothing). Perhaps the child in question had a coat/jacket similar, and the parents don't even realize this has happened. Just approach either the staff at the pre-school or the child's mother if you see her frequently and tell them the truth - "My son camehome without his jacket one day, and I believe this child/your child may have picked it up by mistake, as they are wearing one that looks very similar. My son's jacket was marked with initials (in this place), could you please check that jacket?" The situation should be solved. The mother should be more than willing to check, and the pre-school teacher should be able to check and then explain to the other parent that it is their child who has lost a jacket. No need to feel bad about wanting to get your son's clothing back!
2006-10-22 12:22:12 · answer #2 · answered by JenV 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, it's gone unless your child's name is on it somewhere. The jacket you saw could belong to your son, or it could belong to the other child. And yes, it's possible for a parent not to know what they're kid is wearing. My wife works nights, so I get the kids up for school in the morning and get them dressed. My wife picks them up. She would probably be better aware of what is theirs and what isn't, but I wouldn't have a clue. So if the other kid's situation is similar, his parents might not realize he's not wearing his jacket. You can talk to the daycare, and you can talk to the other parents, but if I were you I'd call it a lesson learned the hard way and get a new jacket with his name on the tag. It is definately inappropriate to go up to another person's child and accuse them of taking a jacket without talking to the parents first, and if you aren't very careful, you could get your son kicked out of daycare. I would let it go if it were me.
2006-10-20 04:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by srt_4everyone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So, I had went through a similar situation with my son and a daycare setting. What I did was bring it to the teachers attention that the "missing" jaket was on the other child and you would like to know if that child had that jacket before the date the jacket went missing and yes a responsible adult would know what is their child's clothing and what was not. Also, remember that in a setting like school and daycare that many things like bookbags and jackets and even clothing can be exactly alike and to label and I know that sounds petty or silly but if you don't want to have to replace things like jackets then label on the tag or something in permanent marker. Then when a situation like this arises in the future and trust me this is not going to be the only time then you will have proof that the object is in fact your child's.
2006-10-20 04:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would ask the teacher to get the jacket and check to make sure your initials are inside it. At that point, I would take it back. Clothing is expensive and taking other peoples belongings is wrong. It would be an excellent lesson for both the OTHER parents (who should have noticed and KNOW better) as well as both children involved.
2006-10-20 06:42:46 · answer #5 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you know that is your son's coat? I'm sure that it wasn't the only coat like it made/sold.
I would not assume that this is your son's coat. At most, I might arrange to be there when the kid is dropped off and make a comment to the effect of "I like that coat - did you get it at
2006-10-20 04:18:57 · answer #6 · answered by cathy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, it is totally rude of the other mother to have taken your sons jacket. But make 100% sure that it is yours, you will be so embarrased if the jacket turns out to be exactly the same but belong to the other boy. Just explain to the mother what happned and say that can you please have a look at her sons jacket just to verify that it really is your sons (make sure you label all your clothes), if you can't verify that the jacket belongs to your son (ie - no name or other identifying marks) then you will just have to let the other lady keep it if she argues with you. However dont make an enemy of the other mum just apologise for your mistake.
2006-10-20 04:18:16 · answer #7 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow -- that's tough. I actually had something like this completely blow up in my face. I had a similar situation happen with a back pack. I actually went as far as to talk to the parents of the other child and they were generous enough to say that they may have mis-placed her back pack. Needless to say, I found my daughter's hidden under some stuff in the back of my SUV about a week later. I had to turn around and appoligize to the other parents. I am not saying this is what happenned to your son's coat, but I make it common practice to put my daughters name in everything now, so there would be NO mis-communication.
2006-10-20 04:12:18 · answer #8 · answered by Brian D 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm not exactly sure I know what you mean by "take it back". If you're talking about walking up to a child and taking a jacket away from them, then it is absolutely inappropriate and you'll be lucky if you don't get arrested. You need to talk to the school officials and the parent of the other child. I know that I would be EXTREMELY irritated if someone came up to my child and accused them of stealing or tried to take something away from them.
2006-10-20 04:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by razorbacks_rule 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, I would just let it go and buy your child another jacket, it wouldn't be worth the trouble and it would make you look bad. Maybe the child that is wearing your jacket is poor and he really needed one. If I found the jacket I would take it back to the teachers, this is the right thing to do.
2006-10-20 04:15:15 · answer #10 · answered by Urchin 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
YES, esp if it has his name in it, it could be an honest mistake, but I know you should know your childs clothing, but like a previous poster said make sure a teacher is present. Im more disturbed that in cold weather like that the teacher didn;t notice your child wasn't wearing a jacket
2006-10-20 20:28:21 · answer #11 · answered by JoAnne H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋