Is it OK to take back my child's clothing?

Question

3 weeks ago we picked up our son from preschool and his jacket was missing -- the teachers didn't have any idea that it was even gone. We were given explanations that he probably left it on the playground, and questioned if we were sure he had brought one. It was 50˚ that day! We repeatedly asked about it, something we were not going to let slip by, but it seemed to have disappeared and looked as though we were not going to get it back.

Today I saw another child wearing it when I dropped my son off. What should I do? If another parent made a mistake then that's one thing, but c'mon -- you KNOW what clothes are your child's and what clothes aren't. As a responsible adult wouldn't you notice that it didn't belong to you and return it to the teachers?

My question is this: Is it appropriate for me to take it back?

Thanks for all the suggestions. Unfortunately, talking with the teachers doesn't help in this situation, as far as asking them to be more responsible in situations like this they have a clean-hands policy. This isn't the first time clothes have come up missing, many times when we go to pick up our son it often looks as though someone has been rifling through his backpack. As far as the child's family having no money, highly unlikely, and by no means are we so wealthy that it isn't a big deal!

Answer 1

As a mother who has lost many articles of clothing at school, I would talk to the teacher and explain that another child is wearing the jacket that you lost three weeks ago. If I were the other child's mother, I would certainly have sent the jacket back to school to be returned to the rightful owner and I would not be upset if my child was asked to return it to you. Maybe the school could replace your jacket with another from the lost and found so the child wearing your jacket doesn't have to be without a coat. Maybe the child said he found it and the parents didn't question where the new jacket came from. It sounds like you can get your jacket back with a little bit of tactful explanation. Good Luck.

Answer 2

Ok, the very first thing that you need to do is make sure that you label your childrens clothing with a black sharpie. This way there is no mistaking that the article of clothing belongs to your child. What you must take into consideration is that your child is not the only child in this class. Most likely there are 12 children in his class or more if there is an assistant teacher. I find sweaters, jackets, coats, etc. on the floor, on the playyard, in the dramatic play area all the time without names. I'll ask the class who the jacket belongs to. Many times no one will answer. If a child says that it is theirs, then I tell them to put it in their cubby. There is no way of knowing who the jacket belongs to if there is no name. At preschool age the child is perfectly capable of being responsible for their own items. They have a cubby or a designated area where their personal items are supposed to be put. It's not likely that another child is getting into your childs backpack. Chances are that your child is getting into his backpack and misplacing his things. Talk to your child about the importance of keeping up with his things. Tell him to be sure that he puts his jacket where it belongs. A preschool is a place to learn. It is the teachers responsibility to make sure you child is learning, keeping out of harms way and interacting appropriately with the other children. Though most teachers try to help the children keep up with their belongings, it is ultimately the childs responsibility and the parents. If your child has lost his jacket, and you see that another child is wearing it. Simply tell the teacher that the jacket belongs to your child. She will be able to find out very easily. She knows the children in her class very well. She'll be able to quiz the child and find out where he got the jacket. If that doesn't help she can ask the parent. This really isn't that big of an issue. Tell the teacher that the child has your childs jacket. It would have been much easier if you would have said something when you seen the child wearing. If you feel that you can not talk to your teacher about it go to the director.

Answer 3

It is appropriate to approach the teacher first, in a very non-threatening way and explain that there must have been a mishap somewhere. It's the teacher's job to speak to the other parent and get the jacket back. But it is absolutely appropriate and important that you do get it back. First, you paid for it. Second, the other child is learning that it's ok to take things from your son. It will also teach your son some conflict resolution skills. A skilll MANY kids are lacking these days.

Answer 4

DO NOT send anything to school with your child besides what he absolutely must have....no extra pairs of shoes or clothing. Write his name on the inside of EVERYTHING!!! SHOES TOO!!! he takes to school with a metallic or dark colored permanent marker. The point here is that some people may buy the same clothing as you for their children, but NOBODY is stupid enough to write your son's name into something they just bought. If it has your son's name and room number, nobody can say it isn't yours.

Go to the principal. Every time I have had an occurance with the teacher, the principal corrects the situation.

Answer 5

Did you put your child's name in it, or does it have other distinguishing marks in some way? If so then you can inspect the jacket while it's off of the kid, and then just tell a teacher or director "Oh look here's Johnny's jacket - I know it's his because . . . I'm so glad we found it."

If you don't have this advantage, just buy another one and put his name or initials in it along with your phone number.

Be generous and assume that the other boy's mother doesn't have enough money to buy a coat and write it off as charity. But I would also inform the school manager so that she can assure that other items don't walk away.

Answer 6

i would say something. This happened to my son in preschool too!!! I bought him a brand new adidas jacket he only wore it 3 times when it went missing. 2 days later I saw another child wearing it so I said something to the teacher. I got the coat back, the other parent claimed she thought one of the children's parents "gave" it to her son. From then on I wrote my son's name on all of his belongings!

Answer 7

Yes, take it back. By the way, if you write your child's name in permanent marker on the inside of all his belongings, then you can easily prove it's his. I'm a Pre K teacher, and I ask my parents to label everything that comes to school. It is difficult to keep track of everything, and I don't like to lose things. Labeling resolves that issue.

Answer 8

hopefully you wrote your childs name on the inside of the coat not on the tag. sharpie has a silver perm marker for writing on dark colors. since the teachers won't hepl you. wait there for the child to take the coat off and inspect it. if it is yours then take it back. tell the school that you have found your childs coat and for them to call the other childs mother to bring in his own coat. this will only work if your childs name is still in the coat. but you must have proof. and be willing to call the police for the return of your stolen property

Answer 9

There probably isn't anything you can do. Maybe you can clearly mark your child's name on all his belongings, even on the outside where everyone can see it. I know that is not real appealing, but what else can you do. The only other thing I can think of, is maybe look into another preschool.

Answer 10

It would be appropriate to ask it back if you have concrete proof that itis your son's coat, seeing as retailers sell dosens of the same items daily.I would suggest that in future you mark your childs name with a tag, in order to identify his clothing easily and to avoid uncomfortable situations.