I broke up with a very loving and caring girl 5 months ago. This girl did everything and anything for me but she was too much. She would call me 24/7 and if we argue and I don't feel like talking she won't stop calling until my phones' batteries are dead. If I pick up she would talk so much and give me the biggest headache. I also did not find her appealing anymore because she never gave me the chance to make things right when I get mad, she would always be the one to apologize and that put her down in my eyes. So... I met her opposite about a month ago. This new girl, I love. They both know eachother. The new girl is jeolous I spent so much money on the first girl and wants me to get the money back and give it to her. She is also afraid that I might leave her like I left my ex after a 2 1/2 year realtionship. The thing I'm afraid of is that everytime I say something that bothers her she has to get revenge on me and hurt me so bad. I'm 21 and she's 18. I feel like she's money hungry...
2006-10-20 03:46:23 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I also feel like she has a big anger problem. When she is angry she hits and curses and swears that she'll leave me. She is the sweetest thing when she is happy. Almost every night we get into a fight about my ex or money or stupid things like me telling her that I do not want to hear songs over the phone that she plays for me and she gets so mad. I get a headache because all I hear is noise, but it's what she wants or hell! Sometimes I think I can't stand this relationship, but then I think of my ex and how I didn't like that either. Maybe I have to get use to this heartache? Maybe I'm attracted to her only because she threatens to leave me? Maybe I just need a girl in my life? BUT I do love her. I am willing to change for her but she stresses me out so much. When I hurt her unintentionally she hides her feelings so well and expects me to "know" how she is feeling! I'm not psychic, it's only been one month! Then she hurts me 10X worse! Is she crazy or is there something wrong with me?
2006-10-20 03:58:08 · update #1
I don't love my ex anymore. I do care about her though. Most of you said that the new girl is money hungry (I might think so too) but could it be that she feels lower than my ex because I haven't "bought" her stuff. I show her that I love her and I bring her flowers, I do all that romantic stuff. Could it be that she's testing how much I'm willing to stick by her? Another thing is that I feel like she was too easy. She showed so much emotion on the first date and I can see now that it was not towards me... Other times I think that I finally got through to her because I do talk to her about these things but she ends up complaining about the same things. Will she ever change? Or should I end it now?
2006-10-20 04:21:07 · update #2
@ Angela
I show alot of love. I make them feel how much I am willing to be loyal and caring for them. I make sacrifices for them.
2006-10-20 04:24:19 · update #3
Sounds like a tricky situation you're in there and to be honest, your new girl sounds kind of immature. She shouldn't be so concerned about your ex - everyone has baggage. You just have to live with it. And its unfair of her to expect you to get money back off your ex and give it to her. I don't think she's money hungry, I think she's just really insecure and maybe in some ways feels a bit threatened by your last relationship? Do you talk about your ex a lot? Perhaps she feels you still have feelings for her (perhaps you do). By asking you to get that money back off your ex, its like her stamping her claim on you. Anyway, to answer your question, no, I don't think this will work out. There are too many issues already. The first few months / year of the relationship should be th Honey moon period where you are getting to know each other and everything is great. You shouldn't be having doubts yet that's for sure.
2006-10-20 03:54:33 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly I feel like U R still with the wrong girl. She needs to respect that U did have a life before her & so did she. When people end a relationship each person changes because they try to correct things about themselves before they enter a new relationship. It's kinda harder when the new girl & the ex know each other. The new girl wants to compare this relationship with that 1 & it can't work like that because it's something new 2 the both of U. It sounds like she is money hungry but at the same time U say U luv her, so maybe U should find some ways to find out if she's really into U or just material things.
2006-10-20 10:55:26 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez...neither one is the right one for you...
The new girl is definitely more interested in your money than in you. And that she wants the money back which you spent on the other girl that is simply ridiculous. So - you should ask yourself why you "love" her. Is that love maybe rather sexual attraction? Is it just because she is the total opposite of the other girl? Whatever it is, it is important for you to be very honest to yourself and find out the real reason. And also ask yourself what your understanding of "love" is.
You guys are very young and for the next 10-20 years you will probably find out a lot more about "love" relationships and what really matters in a relationship. I would recommend to not think that this will work out right now. She is on the track to be asked by you for marriage and then is after the money. Just a suspicion from your description.
If things get too difficult and stressful with her you need to break up, for your own sake. And for hers, it is a learning experience for her too - if you honestly then tell her why (like you do here).
Best wishes
2006-10-20 10:54:47 · answer #3 · answered by spaceskating_girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it would be wrong to ask the old girlfriend for the things you bought her while you were dating her and you should let your new girlfriend know that you do not appreciate her constant jealousy because if you wanted to be with your ex, you still would be. Also, if you really do care about her you need to find a way to reassure her that you want to be with her and you have no intentions of leaving. The revenge thing is not a very good asset to your relationship and if you can't work that out, then maybe you shouldn't be together.
2006-10-20 11:25:38 · answer #4 · answered by blessedbytheluvofjah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really care about her, sit down and talk to her calmly and respectfully.
Tell her how you see her acting, and how you feel when she "gets revenge". Let her know that she can trust you, and that you are not doing things to bother her intentionally.
Ask her if she knows why she reacts the way she does...was she hurt by another guy, and doesn't feel she can trust?
Ask her about her feelings about the importance of money. Are her parents the same way? Where has she learned to be so vicious about money? You aren't married to her....she can't really control your cash flow, and shouldn't. Clearly if you were to recover money from your ex, you would be free to spend it as you like....not 'give' it to her.
Let her know that her obsession with your money is beginning to worry you, and that maybe she should re-evaluate her relationship with you if she is unhappy. If she is interested in money, perhaps she would be happier with another fella.
It sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship to me. You should also ask yourself....If you love her, how much manipulation and abuse are you willing to accept to keep her around?
2006-10-20 10:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by gg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of these girls are right for you. Girl #1 was insecure and demanding and Girl #2 is insecure and demanding...their approach might be different but both are emotional vampires. Love is a two-way street but it sounds like you do all the drivin', baby. Not all women are this shallow, nor do all have to get revenge and make you feel pain. Don't waste a lot of energy on these emotional vampires...you need to be nurtured, too.
2006-10-20 10:53:08 · answer #6 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, those 2 aren't exact opposites, they are both very immature and controlling. Alot of guys don't realize until its too late that a girl that "does everything" for them and then controls conversations until they get there way are control freaks.
The new girlfriend has no excuse for giving you grief about the old girlfriend, that's just childish. And you need to be afraid of any girl who is demanding monetarily from you. Your feelings are right about her being money hungry. No future there. Sorry.
2006-10-20 10:53:11 · answer #7 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should back off the "dating game" until YOU can get your feelings sorted out. If these girls cannot "behave" by not getting revenge and hurting you, what is the point. I believe you should decide what you want in a relationship and what you don't. What will you tolerate and not tolerate. Then let your heart lead. Good luck.
2006-10-20 10:50:42 · answer #8 · answered by Michelle S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She very well might be out for money, you should explain to her that your previous relationships are none of her business. Genuanly any other past relationships are in deed none of her business, if all she wants is for you to spend money on her...then its not worth it. As far as fights go, talk to her about how she acts after a fight. The two of you should be able to work things out and not be out for blood after a fight. Best advice would be to get out though, that is if she only wants money and is hurting you badly.
2006-10-20 10:53:22 · answer #9 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither of these women sound right for you, one was obviously insecure and needy, the other, insecure and jealous.
You need to find someone who is neither - someone who is confident and caring and has some self esteem without being too domineering with it.
Jealousy and insecurity do not form part of a healthy, loving and stable relationship.
2006-10-20 10:50:57 · answer #10 · answered by Witchywoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋