Cheating???

Question

OK, you go online under a different ID and your significant other IM's you but doesn't realize it's you. The two of you start talking...you know it's your significant other you are talking to but they don't know it's you. If you cyber under this different ID, is it considered cheating on your significant other? Or is your significant other the only one considered cheating because they think you are someone other than who you are? Do you confront the significant other about knowing what they are doing? If so, how do you confront them? By the way, I went under a different ID because I wanted to see what they were doing and find out if my suspicions were correct or if I was just imagining things. Now, am not sure what I know. Need help, please.

Answer 1

Some would consider cybering cheating, and some consider looking at porn or going to a strip club cheating. It all depends on how secure you are in yourself andthus what you see as threatening.

Cybersex is fantasy. If you are okay with your SO having fantasies that don't revolve around you, than it probably isn't really cheating.

Now, if your spouse was planning on meeting this person they are cybering with, then there would be a problem in my eyes.

Also, what if they really did know it was you and was playing the game because it was "naught" and a turn-on? Kind of like swinging without actually doing it, just pretending for the fantasy aspect of it. Just another angle.

Answer 2

Ok, you go online under a different ID..? Firstly, that tells me there's just no trust.
You cyber under this different ID.. she's cheating, because she's cybered with someone other than "you" (she doesn't know its you, you say.)
Yes, she's in the wrong, but you cannot confront her for doing something wrong when you have been blatantly dishonest with her - what you've done is called "entrapment".
Either way - you should NOT be going online with ANYONE else if your "other" is significant.. so own up - take the belting you deserve and then between you two decide what goes for what. Then stop the petty tests. You either love & trust, or don't. And if you don't -- then drop the whole thing.

Answer 3

If you honestly went on-line under a different screen name just to see what your significant other was doing, then I feel you were just protecting yourself. Obviously there was some reason for you to check it out. If you confront them they will likely lie. I would play the charade and find out just how far they're willing to take it. Why don't you set up a meeting with them at a restaurant? You are gonna have to keep your cool to do this. Get there early and go armed with the printed messages between the two of you if possible. Tell them to go in and you will join them. If they show up I would walk up and ask what are you doing here baby. Watch them squirm. Then I'd hand 'em the messages and politely tell them to step off! Good luck. Peace...

Answer 4

The internet seems to have given us an outlet to surf around, play with other people's emotions and yes, sometimes even cheat on each other all without having to have had physical contact.

Neither one is really being honest in this situation until you talk about it. I wouldn't confront him - no one like confrontation and denial is always the first thing that starts ... but communication is a whole different thing.

Tell him you have been having uncomfortable feelings, what you did and what you discovered. If he denies it, I would not push the issue, but would be finding somewhere else to be .....

Answer 5

Just what constitued cheating ? I go online often and chat with others just because im chatting doesnt mean im cheating!!!! And yes sometime the conversation might get a little HOTTTT but I dont go off to meet this other person im just primed and ready for my other half when they get home.Fantacy can be a wounderful thing as long as it stays on the keyboard.To confront him I guess you could say " Honey I just dont trust you so I went on line to see what you were doing so who is this different I D "

Answer 6

Yeah, I've been there. The act of flirting with a stranger via IM in itself probably isn't "cheating" but is more about what is discussed or if dates are arranged. Some of the guys who have IMd me want to talk pretty dirty, send dirty pics etc. (this really turns me off) and a few have asked me out. I have never hooked up with one of these guys because they show themselves as perverts right of the bat. I did, however, IM my boyfriend under an assumed name once during a brief break-up. I asked him leading questions about his life until he got around the the "girlfriend he just broke-up with". I asked him out (remember, he didn't know it was me), he agreed and I was really hurt. The me under the assumed name was gonna go just to see him again but I stood him up instead...to chicken and hurt. This environment can certainly be manipulated as an instrument for cheating.

Answer 7

from personal experience, she shouldnt be cybering with anyone!! Unless she knows its u. Take my word for it, this is going to be very bad. Some people may say its harmless, but you should use common sense. She is cyber ***** someone, getting off on it and enjoying it, now i would hate it if my girl was doing that, it would be like she isnt satisfied with our sex lives, so she has to imagine others? You need to talk to her about it, but dont tell her it was you. I would tell her that you know she is cybering with other people, if she denies it, you know she is cheating or lying, becuase you were there and she didnt know it.

Answer 8

If you are that worried that she is cheating on you- why don't you just talk to her about it? Honesty in relationships is key, and if you don't have it you are going to spend more and more energy worrying that she isn't being faithful to you.

If she has something to hide, she may be mad. If she doesn't, she may be hurt that you'd suggest it, but will understand and love you more for being honest (at least I would if my boyfriend asked me about it... I don't cheat, but knowing that he cares about the relationship enough to ask that type of question would definately soothe any hurt from the question itself!).

Going about it by changing your ID is underhanded and she'll likely be exceptionally mad about it. Whether she is in the wrong or not, being decietful is NOT the way to go about this delicate issue.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Tough question and only you can answer it. Before you make a decision ask yourself these questions: Do you consider talking to someone on-line cheating? Are you making plans to meet this person? Do you spend more time on-line talking than with your partner? Lastly, be frank with your partner and ask what this means to them.

Answer 10

What do you mean your not sure what you know ?? You know your partner is cheating. What would I do ? I would tell that sorry son of a b*tch that I caught them and its over.