Religion and Relationships?

Question

So every once in awhile I go and read the Dear Margo column and came across this;
http://news.yahoo.com/s/dear_margo/20061019/en_dm/margo_howard20061019

Made me think. I am in a relationship with a Christian guy, now for 4.5 years. Who else is in a relationship with someone who has different beliefs? We avoid all religious talk like the plague cause when it is discussed, we end up fighting about it.

I have no regrets about being in a relationship with someone who has different beliefs. One of the things that that was mentioned in the article has been brought up in my relationship; they hope that I will eventually convert. I don’t see that happening. And chances are we will have to split up because of that. (THAT is a whole other story and one more “X” I have against religion – since I won’t convert then we can’t be together despite the loving each other, loyalty, being great together etc)

Anyone else out there had religion pushing its way into their relationship?

Whatever Lane - Join them?! HA - why give up a part of myself for someone else. I understand the making sacrifices but come on!

Answer 1

I'm agnostic and married a christian. We never fight about religion it's more the usual things like finances. Funnily enough religion never comes up as a topic much but that may be because he is an Anglican and Brits don't seem to be as deeply embedded in dogma as Americans.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say that religion is pushing it's way into my relationship. I am Pagan and my fiance' is more or less agnostic. He is very open minded and has no problem with my beliefs. I go to ritual or do my "spellwork" and he doesn't mind. He's even gone to a pagan retreat with me. He didn't participate in the ritual but he did watch. He said that it was very interesting and sometimes asks questions about the whats and whys of what we do and believe. I don't try to convert him. We don't make a big deal out of it. I respect his beliefs and he respects mine. We've even gone so far as to merge a Pagan handfasting and a traditional style wedding. I wrote the ceremony, it mentions some Pagan references and the only complaint he had was that the vows were a tad mushy. I think that had more to do with him not being a mushy romance type of guy and I confess I did write kind of a tear jerker..... Bottom line....If two people love each other for the right reasons then religion shouldn't really matter.

Answer 3

According to the Bible, an unbeliever is free to leave. However, if you are a seeker of truth, you might want to consider that being a christian requires a supernatural internal event, called being born again. No person or church can do it to you. And, assuming this may be something you should check out, you could at least take the time to read one small bit of the Bible - the gospel of John. And ask God, if there is anything to it, to show you. What can you lose? And consider what you might gain by trying.

Answer 4

I'm a Pagan and I'm in love with an Atheist. But we respect each other's beliefs and I occasionally talk about my religion, but I don't push it on him. We both believe in the big bang, in evolution, and all that scientific stuff. The only difference is that I believe there's something divine in nature where he does not. He thinks Paganism is interesting but he is not interested in being one. I think we have a mutual respect with each other.

Blessed be.

Answer 5

I admit, I have a problem being in a relationship with someone not of my religion. That's only because the guys don't really respect my religion and try to change me. I"m CAtholic, I spend one hour a week in mass (an hour I enjoy, thank you) and I don't require that my boyfriend comes to mass with me. In fact, he doesn't ever have to step foot inside a church, but I do want him to respect my religion. Don't suggest that I skip mass. Don't suggest that I stop my vow of Chastity. Don't suggest that my religion is the reason for EVERYTHING that is wrong in the world. THat's not respect. ANd never suggest that I change my religion!

Every guy outside of my religion has tried this. As I said, I don't mind if he never converts, I'm not aiming for that. But I want him to respect my religion as much as he expects me to respect his.

Answer 6

This is all about tolerance, if you and he are tolerants you can make it up.
In my case I am atheist(very proud of it) and my wive is catholic(20 years of marriage), we don't discuss any thing about religion, there are many things to take care about that doesn't leave space to believes discussions.
If you love each other, don't care about beliefs, just never discuss about beliefs and have tolerance like you should have with every body else. Every body have different beliefs, different ideas, different thoughts, then, we have to be tolerants with every body, so what is the difference?

Answer 7

Oh please. The only advice I have is if you can't beat them, join them. There is a good Americanism.