"Unfocused" 2 year old!!?

Question

My 2 1/2 year old son attends a preschool class 3 mornings a week for 3 hours. He loves the school, but his teacher has told me that he doesn't listen, doesn't listen during story time and now she said he's unfocused. Is this age appropriate behavior? I feel like this is normal, but since she continues to tell me these things (which I feel are negative) I'm starting to worry. Is there anything I can do at home to get him more focused???

I should have mentioned that I spoke with our pediatrician and she said he is a perfectly healthy 2 year old. I guess I'm upset with the teacher and wanted to see if anyone else agreed. I don't want to make excuses for my son or blame the teacher for saying something negative about him, but he is only 2!! She never has anything nice to say - always something bad! Thanks for listening!!!

Answer 1

Move him to a a different pre-school. He's 2 :) the teacher is obviously short on patience :)

Answer 2

Are all of the other 2 year olds sitting still? Seems unlikely, but I wouldnt really begin to worry about anything until he is 3 or 4. Then if a teacher tells you something, you might want to be concerned. My son who is 9 now was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome and he had problems like t hat , but he didnt display them until he was over 3. BUT, my second sons preschool teacher also complained about him at age 3, not listening etc..and he is now 7 and is doing well. So it is really too soon to tell. I dont know too many 2 year olds that are focused. I have a 2 1/2 year old too and he doesnt pay attention long. He was sitting in a chair singing the ABCs along with 3 other kids during church nursery, which surprised me, but then again they had only 4 kids and not 10 or more to try and get still. Put him in a different school if you can and see what that teacher says, or just take him to a pediatrician and tell them what the teacher said. They can tell you if its normal or not.

Answer 3

Your son sounds very normal. Lack of focus CAN signal certain things, but if your pediatrician doesn't see a problem then you should not be worried about him. Good grief, he's two! He's supposed to be unfocused and do any toddlers listen that well?

It is the preschool teacher I would worry about. You shouldn't be made to feel bad about the very normal behavior of your toddler. If, in her experience, she feels there is something she is concerned about, she should find a supportive way to communicate her thoughts without putting you on the defensive.

I'd look at other preschools - maybe a smaller one where he would get more individualized attention. The only thing I'd do at home is be sure he's got challenging activities - if he's an advanced child, he might be bored.

Answer 4

Will he sit and listen to YOU read a story? How long is he expected to sit still in class?

You are the world's expert on this child, if you think he's normal he is probably just fine.

Kids this age are all about movement and developing gross motor skills. As for focus, he might be focused on something she doesn't see/understand. Like why do raindrops slide down a window like that? why don't they go straight?

I would have her outline what she expects of a child this age and the things they do in class and compare them with what your pediatrician says are reasonable expectations. Does your doctor say he's developing okay?

Also check out the National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC). They have a list of developmentally appropriate practices you can read. This gives you an idea of what you can reasonably expect from a child this age.

If her expectations are in sync, try reading to him in a different way at home. Maybe he likes holding the book instead of having the teacher holding it in the air so far away. Try holding the book in your hand and showing it to him and see how he reacts.

Another thought: Can he see the book okay when someone standing up is holding it? Does she use BIG books, or regular sized? Where does he sit at storytime? In an assigned spot on the floor? What is she reading? Is it fun stuff?

I take my 3.5 year old son to a class (for kids 3-5) at a children's museum and before every class the teachers tell the caregivers that if the child isn't sitting still for story time at the end of the class and wants to wander, that's fine.

Enjoy your son!
PS If you haven't read it yet, check out "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" by Mo Willems. He'll love it!

Answer 5

my son is 3 and i have a hard time keeping his attention in one place for more than an hour (unless he's sleeping). the teacher may not have enough patience for a very active child at this young age. or maybe there's not enough going on, such as having to sit and being able to do only one thing for an extended amount of time, this could be the struggle. see what goes on in the class and how much activity there is. every 2 year old needs to be able to run around to get out their energy, maybe he's having to stay still too long. just check out the class and the teacher on a normal day, or if you can't have a trustworthy friend or relative do it for you. see what you can find out, maybe he should be in a more active school...

Answer 6

He is 2, not 5, his teacher shouldn't say he is unfocused. It's normal for him, she may not be a "nice" person you know what I mean, my son is 3 1/2 and if he is interested that means good attitude, patience (for the teacher) she may be mean at times or uses a differnent tone where it bothers your son. If you want to get him used to these activities, try reading at home which i am sure you do already but in all reality you know your son better then anyone, you would know if there is a problem and if there is it's not him because of his age. It must be the school or his teacher. GOod luck and don't worry mom

Answer 7

My daughter is the same way..and was at your son's age. She's 3 1/2 now. She's doing much better b/c we realized that she's gifted and she gets bored very easily. Is it possible that your son is gifted? While my daughter is very advanced we still needed to work on her "focus". We believe that she should be able to sit still during story time...so we started having daily story time with her at home and making her sit and listen quietly. We would ask her questions about the story afterwards to encourage her to pay attention. My husband also has her do coloring pages and crafts a few times/week and he teaches her how to sit still and color in the lines. This has helped her tremendously. It's helping her focus and have more patience. She used to hate sitting still and coloring and now she loves it...because she's becoming really good at it.

Answer 8

First of all, two year olds have a very short attention span. Have you observed the preschool and how your son acts there? Is the teacher expecting too much from him as far as time? Can you sit in a room somewhere where your son can't see you and just watch the teacher and the class?

Don't be too quick to think your son may have a problem with his attention span, he is only two. Even a kindergarten kid has a fairly short attention span. Always, always talk to your pediatrician to see what they think, if you are having doubts or questions.

Answer 9

Maybe there are "more focused" kids in his class and his teacher has unrealistic expectations of him. Does she have anything positive to say about him? If not you might try a different teacher, a different preschool, or letting him stay home a bit longer.

Sounds age appropriate to me.

Answer 10

He is in a room with a bunch of his friends and loads of toys and he won't follow directions? Astonishing!
If this teacher is constantly on him for not listening, he may develop the belief that he is "bad at school". That is the opposite of what you want. I would pull him out and wait a year, or switch to a different teacher. Don't let your son know why you are doing this, of course. For socializing, maybe start a playgroup each week. That way, a couple of moms can run errands while the others play.

Answer 11

I have a two year old at home and in my opinion this lady is expecting way too much. Maybe she needs to consider getting another job if she doesn't have the patience to deal with kids this age. My son doesn't still sit long enough for me to finish reading a story to him. He's just a two year old, she needs to give him a break. If you are really worried about her giving him or you a hard time try taking some time at home and sit down with him with a book, but like I said before I don't think you are even going to get him to focus much because two years old just don't have that ability for very long.