Why do people get scared when their firends thell them their Bi or gay?

Answer 1

It's just a shocker, specially if they've known you forever, but it they are tru friends it won't matter, you will find who the true friends are, as long as you're not hitting on them of course.

Answer 2

First people are scared of what they may know little about. Then they may be scared that the same sex person may hit on them. They don't know the language or culture and do not know how to fit in. Some are so afraid of such a counter-culture that they do not want to fit in. Some are afraid they will be exposed to AIDS or other sexually transmitted diseases. They forget they have the same risks as heterosexuals. Some are intimidated by the sexual freedom of especially males. Some are intimidated by the flamboyance and exaggerated expressiveness. Some are intimidated by some of their excellent sense of style, good manners and caring nature. I have found many gay people extremely talented and creative. I have also found gay people who are decidedly odd and bitchy - but then any person can be like that. What I still have difficulty with is with gay people who swear, use obscene language and tell filthy jokes. I do not like anyone to do this. It makes me feel very uncomfortable.

Usually the person who tells you that they are gay takes a risk in telling you and feels hopeful that you will be receptive. Usually you have known this person for some time. If you liked the person before the word "gay" came out, why should your opinion about the person change? If they are family, you would not cease to love the person you love as your son or daughter just because they finally had the courage to tell you that they are gay?

People fear what they do not know or understand. If a person who has come out as "gay" can slowly educate the person as to what being "gay" means to them and introduce them to specifically chosen gay friends who their friends or family may like in the early attempts. Later you can take them to group events.

Parents can feel that they have lost son as a male and a daughter as a female. They mourn the loss that they may never have grandchildren. Your son is still your son and your daughter is still your daughter. If they wish children, they may still be able to have children. Parents are actually mourning for themselves. They have lost the life they were expecting. Parents will soon learn that you will find another family. It may not be exactly what you expected but it can be a good one or as bad as the average one can get.

Don't back away from this brave person who has come out to you. You may lose an excellent friend or family member.

A young boy said people were "a mosaic of gifts!" Gay people surely add colour and gifts to the mosaic.

Answer 3

People get scared because it is something that is unknown to them. It could mean some life changes for that person or they worry about the safety of their friend. There are many reasons to get scared when someone receives this news.

I went through this with my best friend. Her brother is gay and he decided that he wanted to tell his family when he was 25. They were a very Catholic family, so this was a difficult situation. He took time and told his siblings first, and they all reacted with fear, not fear of a homosexual, but fear to their parents reaction and how the brother would fit into the world now. This also meant that the siblings had to change their view on the world. This can be very scary as well. They were all Catholic and their beliefs did not have room for homosexuals. The family had to change their ideas of how the world works. It was a very scary time for them, but in the end they all still love their brother and the parents still love him, but are taking time to adjust to this news.

So I hope I have helped to explain it a bit.

Answer 4

They are probably afraid that if they associate with someone that is bi or gay that others will think they are too. Some people don't have any problem with it, some people just need some time to get used to it and some people never will accept it. Hopefully if they are real friends then they will come around and be supportive.

Answer 5

because they basically got "outvoted" in the sex department. think about it... it limits their dating pool. they gay people have to play roulette to find a date and they don't even have a 50/50 shot. their odds are INCREDIBLY slim. the bi people are about as bad. they THINK they have better odds but they don't. so the only people GETTING any dates are the straight people because that is number 1, the accepted norm, and number 2, easiest to identify, because you cna look at someone and easily identify their gender and assume they are straight, naturally. assuming they are availible, your odds of gettign a date, just went WAAAY up. THAT is why people don' like to be called gay or bi. has to do with how hard it is to get a date. (swap out your own word for date but you should get the general idea.)

Answer 6

Because then all of a sudden they wonder if you've been wanting to date them and they don't want to hurt your feelings or make you uncomfortable if they don't.
And they worry about how people are going to start reacting to you and how difficult it will be. Your friends love you and don't want to have to see you deal with people's prejudices, although you will.
Good luck!

Answer 7

it all has to do with the friendship - the main question on ones mind is "how is this going to affect my friendship?" it's tough to find commanalities in this world, and one more change puts fear that it will make them drift apart. i had a friend come out to me when we were in the 7th grade - i was offended because i was afraid of her hitting on me and because it was as if she was changing our friendship with no warning - just *bam* one of us is gay, we can't talk about boys anymore...i'm much smarter than that now, and in fact i have alot of gay friends now, and my friendships are the same with them...if you are comeing out to your friends - good for you, being honest with yourself and everyone around you will only make your life happier. and if someone has come out to you and your experienceing this scared feeling, just give it time, don't lose contact with them just because they are gay, talk to them about it - if they felt confortable enough to tell you give them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they weren't trying to hurt you. good luck either way!

Answer 8

The first thing they wonder is "have they ever looked at me that way and if so for how long?" THat's enough to scare most people.

Answer 9

We are All Human and Find things of this nature a Little Intimidating(NOT ME!), and hard to comprehend!
They will either come round or bail!

Answer 10

Probably they got drunk with their friends passed out camping or something and worry that they may have been taken advantage of and trust was breeched.... And what is really frightening they are still best friends...