The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.
One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. As he approached, he made the women aware of his presence.
At once, they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave."
The old man frowned, "I did not come down here to watch you young ladies swim naked, or to make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding up the bucket, he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
2006-10-20 01:35:41 · 10 answers · asked by Electric 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Yes old men can think funny and fast as well as old women:):).
Three Old Men
Three old men were sitting in a park talking. The 60 year old man said, "Just once in the morning,
I wish I could take a good pee."
The 70 year old man in the group was smiling & shaking his head and said, "You know, just once I wish I could take a good dump in the morning."
The 80 year old man was smiling and shaking his head while laughing. The others were looking at him and asked him why he was laughing so hard.
He said, "every morning I have a good pee and a great dump - I just wish I would wake-up first!
Old Farmer trying to sell his land
An old farmer was trying to sell some of his land and found a man, who was a hot prospect. But the man wanted to know if the land had mosquitoes, because he wasn't interested if it had them.
"No," answered the farmer, "my land is mosquito free, has been all the time I've lived here."
"Well, that seems strange," replied the prospect, "since every other parcel I have looked at in these parts had mosquitoes."
"Well mine doesn't," replied the farmer.
"How can I be sure," asks the potential buyer.
"Well, I'll prove it to you," states the farmer. "I'll tie myself to that tree, naked, and stay there overnight. You come back tomorrow and I guarantee, you won't find one mosquito bite on me."
The man agrees. The next day he comes back to find the farmer hanging from the tree looking horrible and exhausted. "I told you so," he says, "your place is full of mosquitoes, isn't it?"
"No, I didn't get bit by mosquitoes," says the farmer, "but I sure wish that damn calf would find its mother."
Dangerous Church
In a small southern town, Billy-Joe shows up at the doctor's office at 2:00 PM one Sunday afternoon with several bruises on his face. The doctor says "Another barroom brawl, eh Billy- Joe?" "No!", says Billy-Joe. "This happened in church!". "In church?, what happened?" asks the doctor.
Billy-Joe answers, "Well, I went to church and I sits in the pew. Then a real big fat woman sits in the pew in front of me. We get up to sing, and I sees that her dress is stuck up the crack of her butt, so I pulled it out for her. Then she whomped me with her purse." The doctor treats his wonds and warns him not to do that again.
A week later, on Sunday afternoon, Billy-Joe is back at the doctor's office, bruised worse than before. The doctor said "Now this must have come from your friends at the bar, right Billy- Joe?" Billy Joe looked sadly into the doctor's eyes and cried "NO! NO! This happened in church again!" Extremely puzzled, the doctor asked for the explanation. Billy-Joe said, "I went to church and I sits in the pew. My friend John-Boy comes in and sits down next to me. Then comes this same big fat woman again, and she sits in the pew in front of us.
We get up to sing, and her dress is stuck up the back of her butt again." The doctor said, "Oh no, Billy. You didn't pull it out again! Didn't you learn a lesson last week?" "No, no Doc, I didn't pull it out" said Billy-Joe. "John-Bob did. And knowing how much she didn't like that, I tried to push it back in for her!"
2006-10-20 01:45:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
LOL - hope the old guy didn't kick the bucket from the sight of those women getting the heck out of that pond!
2006-10-20 01:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by DeeDee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good joke. Being at the age where the brain works differently than in my 30s and 40s, there is a difference in brain function. Watching my recently deceased father grow older, I could see his mind weakening. But, the wit was still there. I would assume that while we can't process certain methodologies, the essence of a person's personality, ie, being witty, still remains.
2006-10-20 01:41:16 · answer #3 · answered by William T 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yah,
If they change their mind at the time to time. AND
they stay with the time.
AND the main thing ::::
If they understand their son, it may be right that they are thinking fast
2006-10-20 02:25:19 · answer #4 · answered by s m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THEY ARE GOLD
AND FRIENDS,PHILOSOPHERS AND GUIDES
their base is a broadened one
they have that capacity and capability too
2006-10-20 11:40:07 · answer #5 · answered by R Purushotham Rao 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm So that's how you get the ladies out of the pond??? lol Gravy in the Winter and Jello in the Summer ;))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
2016-05-22 04:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nice one
2006-10-20 02:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by funoburgmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Love a sense of humor!!!
2006-10-20 01:38:56 · answer #8 · answered by sheeny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ho $hit that was good.
2006-10-20 01:54:12 · answer #9 · answered by Brooklynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you really gone so old, HA..HA..
2006-10-20 06:28:16 · answer #10 · answered by kingofuniverse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋