My husband wants a divorce and is cutting off all financial help for myself and our son at the end of this month and my father has days perhaps hours to live. Where do I go from here?
2006-10-19 23:02:40 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dear Victoria, now is the time to spend with your Dad. Say your goodbyes and let him know you love him and appreciate everything he has given you. Reassure him that you are going to be ok.
Hon, you need to go to Family Court and file for Child Support and Visitation. You do not need a lawyer for this. Just pick up the paperwork, answer honestly, and get a copy when you submit the original. Child Support is retroactive to when you file so do this now.
Look into Your State Divorce Laws and see if you qualify for alimony.
If you're getting stuck with the finances, then review your budget and look at it objectively. Find the most secure path for you and your son. Maybe you need to cut your losses and find a place you can afford. See what you can downscale. I went to DSL on the computer and cancelled cable. For 7.00 a month we got local channels. No one died. (I have 3 kids.)
See if you can't find some time for yourself. You need to recover from all the trauma. Losing a father and a husband at the same time is traumatic.
For now conversations with the ex should be limited to , "I can't talk about this right now." Don't let him push his timetable off on you. You have other issues to deal with. Tell him to contact you after the first of the year. The end. See ya then.
Have your son see the school guidance counselor a couple of times. He's going through the same thing you are only on his level. He is going to need an impartial ear. See if there is an after school program that offers academic support from 3 to 4 where he can focus on his homework. He can sign out after academic support with your permission. He needs to stay on an even keel and not become one of your issues. Don't forget to spend some one on one with him so he can maintain a close relationship with you. He needs you now, too.
Time to back up and regroup. Dating is just going to drag some hapless fellow into your mire. Let that go. When you have some stability and your son has adjusted then you can consider sharing your (improved) life with someone else. This takes time. I seriously dated 2 men in 8 years. The first was a 3 year relationship that deterriorated over the last 2 years. The second was a relationship that built for 3 years and then became a committment. I am so happy to have found a right partner. Our respective children have always had priority over time spent with each other. This worked well as there are no resentments on their part (he has three just about my kid's ages, too, and is incredibly involved, which is why I am so attracted to him.)
Find your path. Advise yourself as you would a dear friend. Then follow through. God bless you and keep you. Aim for your end result: A stable home to raise your son in, and a Mom that hasn't lost all her marbles.
2006-10-20 00:03:32 · answer #1 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all , focus on your father. Seeing that has not much time left every minute is precious. In the meantime find a lawyer who can help you with the divorce. What kind of man would cut off support of any kind for his child? be glad he will be out of your life soon.
2006-10-19 23:12:57 · answer #2 · answered by shelshe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first element is first, Slap a grin on that face and take a deep breathe and understand the a results of answer. check out your type new ideas. with a view to heal, i reommend do no longer think of with regard to the stable circumstances, think of with regard to the flaws that made you unhappy and pissed you off approximately him. you're able to be able to sense as though sixteen years is an prolonged time it somewhat is in all probability appropriate yet in all honesty he gave you sixteen years of experence stable or undesirable he shared portion of your existence. Thank him for each little thing he has accomplished for you (stable or undesirable) and concentration on a sparkling YOU. It does no longer harm in case you involed the stable Lord that may additionally assist you out. Take care and that i think you may get by way of this. 2d hazard at love, to enable you to already know the fact the 1st time wasn't love, as a results of fact if it develop into he could nevertheless be with you and not make you sense like airborne dirt and dust. Take some time and don't be in a hurry to discover a sparkling love. he will discover you, and for all you already realize it ought to be him. desiring your forgiviness, becareful while that occurs. reason this is going to take place
2016-12-08 17:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by mcdonnell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to the bank as soon as you can, withdraw as much of the cash as you can, TODAY, open up your own account at another bank with it, and then go spend time with your dad.
Also call around because I believe you can start getting child support even before the divorce, if he leaves you. Make sure you have all the important info like SS#, date of birth etc. If you have been married 10+ years you may qualify for spousal support, but don't quote me on that.
2006-10-19 23:05:21 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to get some work ,or go live with your mum.as a last resort see if there is an aid agency near you like Care International .
Humane society ,Help International if not close try search the net for one they may help.Good luck .if i had any money i would help you for a while but i dont sorry.
2006-10-19 23:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be strong and take it one day at a time.. If ur dad is in pain, it mite best (not the nicest thing to say i know and im sorry) if he does pass on! At least he wont be in pain anymore...
Your husband isnt worth the dirt on ur shoes... Ignore his crap and try to find a reasonable way to provide for urself and ur son!!
Good Luck
2006-10-19 23:06:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry that men like this exist. get in touch with social security board. your church, friends, help centers.
don't just sit there and do nothing. search, dig, fight, to survive.
oh by the way...he can never cut his son off...he can be made pay. if you've been married at least 20 years... he can be made pay again. my address is on here...lets talk.
2006-10-19 23:13:47 · answer #7 · answered by beebee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well from here it will feel like u r in helbut u will be ok u will make it through just keep telling your self u can handle this and u will be ok just dont give up hang in there your son needs u
2006-10-19 23:05:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would continue-on-a-dating-spree b a good advice? and get urself another man who'll b mo considerate than the last
2006-10-20 00:37:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take one day at a time, and pray for support.
2006-10-19 23:13:17 · answer #10 · answered by betty_htch 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋