I have a friend whose husband came home from Iraq a few months ago. She is now pregnant and wants him out of the military. He was in a few accidents in Iraq and now has back and neck problems. She told me she gave him 2 options get out of the Army or re-enlist and restation (she thinks if he re-enlists he won't go overseas anymore since he got hurt but my hubby got hurt overseas and they sent him again anyway). She said if he ends up overseas again she will cheat on him and possibly divorce him (which is wrong as hell for her to even say). If she has to stay at their current post she is moving back home to be with her mom because she doesn't want to raise her baby here (because while her hubby was gone she screwed up a few times and doesn't want to end up facing her problems again). What can I say to make her shut up to me about all this? My hubby doesn't want me around her but she doesn't respect that. I have told her things but she keeps going on and bad mouths my hubby and me. Help!
2006-10-19 22:53:17 · 10 answers · asked by Ashley 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Military
I have tried to stop talking to her but she will just show up at my house or call non stop. I also think her hubby needs to divorce her. They both are in the wrong with things they hit eachother (she hits him more) call eachother names (again her more she always tells him he's stupid). My hubby doesn't want me around her because she was heavy into drugs (he doesn't expose me to that at all and freaks out on people that do drugs and talk about it around me) and she cheated on her hubby with a guy in my hubbys unit and they say she had sex with more than 1 guy and there is video proof of it (my hubby's not sure if this is true though). Thanks for any help!
2006-10-19 23:04:39 · update #1
She sound like a lot of trouble and i think your husband is looking out for your best interest you should definitely listen to him.
The best way i think is to Every time she calls tell her you can`t talk now ,you gotta go etc.
Every time she comes to your house tell her you would appreciate it when she calls before she comes and that you busy right now and don`t have time for visitors.
slowly she get the hint....some people never get it so if she is one of them just tell her that she can`t continue your friendship(if u call it one)and you don`t want her to come to your home or call you anymore.If she then don`t stop it think about getting the police involved.
there are many people out there that you can friendship with that you can trust .
2006-10-20 00:02:13 · answer #1 · answered by Sunshine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just stop speaking to her.
Obviously, you haven't tried hard enough. First, you should start politely. Tell her you are busy have to go. When you open your door, only open it a few inches and stand in the way so she cannot enter. Tell her you are busy, and to please call next time so she can make sure you are free before she comes over.
If that doesn't work, don't answer her calls or HANG UP ON HER. Don't answer you door at all.
On the other hand, you might want to cut her some slack. She's probably under a lot of stress, and you might be her only friend. But that doesn't mean you have to condone her actions or listen to her without comment! Real friends tell each other the truth. If she mentions that she will cheat on her husband, say exactly what you said here! "That is wrong to even say!"
If she's having problems, moving in with her mom might actually be a really good idea for her. Divorce might be the best thing, too.
2006-10-19 22:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Depending on what phone service you have you can block her number from calling your phone. If this isn't an option, caller ID should show her number so you don't have to answer it. Don't answer the door and after she leaves, but before she has time to get home leave her a message that you were in the shower. If you have the nerve, just tell her that you have a good marriage and you're sorry, but your friendship with her is not worth hurting your marriage. Sooner or later she'll get the hint. She needs psychiatric help. No one should feel that way about her spouse.
2006-10-20 01:46:12 · answer #3 · answered by sleepless in NC 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop speaking to her. If she shows up at the door, close it in her face. If she calls, hang up. Then change your number and have it unlisted, OR have her number blocked. If she continues to do any of the above, have her charge with harassment. The MPs won't be able to help much, since they can only deal with the military members. They refer civilians to the local authorities. You can also get a restraining order placed.
Thanks to both you and your husband.
2006-10-20 01:42:19 · answer #4 · answered by My world 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you be as plain as you can be and honest with her. You can tell her that you don't feel like discussing her problems any longer and you would like her to leave you alone. If she doesn't, you can simply stop taking her calls or be busy when she wants to come over. After awhile she will get the message. Good luck.
2006-10-19 23:02:54 · answer #5 · answered by Shadowtwinchaos 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she's scared and frustrated about her pregnancy and the fact that her husband was injured. this is probably why she's making empty threats about cheating on him. some people say hurtful things to hide their fears. she probably feels like you and her are good friends if she talks to you about things. i try not to dump all my problems on my friends, but sometimes it happens. if you're not good friends with her or don't want to be, you need to confront her and tell her so. most people will back away. i wouldn't listen to so called rumors floating around either. usually they are unfounded and if she did do those things, its none of your business. also, i refuse to let my husband choose who i associate or become friends with. i am my own person.
2006-10-20 01:32:28 · answer #6 · answered by haikuhi2002 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am in the Army and it is women like your friend that make me afraid to commit.
I don't know what you should do but good Luck.
2006-10-19 23:41:22 · answer #7 · answered by MP US Army 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to get her hormone levels checked.
2006-10-19 22:57:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your husband and disassociate yourself from her.
Her and her husband's issues are not yours to solve.
2006-10-19 23:00:02 · answer #9 · answered by abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He needs to divorce her. She isn't worth it.
2006-10-19 22:56:23 · answer #10 · answered by Ray 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋