Here's the scoop - 16 year old son, drunk last night-drinking age 21 here-what's a good punishment? He's really a good kid with a kind heart, just taking a wrong turn with this one. It cannot go unpunished either.
2006-10-19 22:45:12 · 16 answers · asked by BIZ Z 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Legal driving age is 17 here - also, st time he drank was a year ago, that source was squashed, had 2 sips over the past year and told me about it- we have talked extensively, I did not just lecture him, he did a lot of the talking...
2006-10-19 22:55:27 · update #1
Punishments can never act as negative motivations, dat is they'll only mke the situation worse n worse. People will respond to love, especially motherly love in case of sons. show him dat u care for his life and dat u'r concerned for his well-being. treat him rite but donot spoil him, be firm but in a gentle sort of way, tke control but don't let him kno it. well, he probably got drunk wit a few of his friends - tke him out for a nice day out n counsel him on how friends can b a huge influence on his future - or maybe he's got a load of trouble on his mind, n trying to drown his sorrows in booze. well, then u cud coax him (not to be confused with force or persuasion) to get what's on his mind out in the open. i kno how hard it can b o see ur very own blood going astray, but hey, these things happen in almost every houseold. The outcome will hugely depend on the way u'r tackling things...n if u'r christian, then it can all b summed up in jus one line -- keep ur whole trust in God alone, He spins this world...gud luck
2006-10-20 00:48:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Junk yards are full of cars that are wrecked by drunk drivers...it may be a good idea to go to one, and sit him in the passenger seat of a nasty one...if he don't drive yet, their is no point in the drivers seat...just make him aware that being any where near a teen drinking situation is dangerous. Point out that the passenger could be just as dead or injured whether they were drinking or not...so being the only innocent one there is no protection...and, point out that the passenger gives up all control when he gets into a car someone else is driving.
I guess you realize that by now, punishment is pretty much secondary to education...in order to have the desired effect, he has to be in a crashed car...or a detox center, and decide that he doesn't want to be there.
I would not advise detox wards, or hospitals as good choices, because at 16, kids are invincible in their own eyes...they can't see themselves in a hospital, but they can sure see themselves in a Camaro. Then, there is the fact that the people in hospitals or detox wards are there to get helped...not for show and tell.
Contact AA...see if there is a meeting close by where a lot of teens go...listening to others that have been there may help
2006-10-20 06:58:35 · answer #2 · answered by Joe 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a good parent. Your son sounds like he just had some pressure fom the peers..and we've all had that.
I think what you could do, is let him know, he let you down. All the trust that has been building up ,has been squashed a bit. But not all, because you know he is still a trusting kid. (make sure he knows that) Then you can let him know that what he did was stupid. No one should do that reguardless of age. I don't think you need to go into the details of what could happen. At 16 , i am sure he is aware of it. But do let him know he broke a rule, a serious one , and you would like to know, what kind of punishment , he thinks he deserves. ( not that he gets to pick it, you can negotiate this one)Kids have a way of understanding when we talk to them as children, or , young adults. He will , and does understand the intensity of the situation , he has caused. Together the two of you can come to a punishment that is suitable for a young adult, and at the same time, you will be gaining your trust back, because he took some responsility, for his actions.
2006-10-20 06:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all where did he get the alcohol to drink? If he got it from another adult you can sue that adult for aiding in the delinquency of a minor, since as you say the drinking age is 21. Secondly I'd contact the local police, see if your son can come in and talk with one of the officers about the dangers of drinking (there are more dangers than just drinking and driving). And lastly I have a question...where are the rules in the home? Rules about drinking, drugs, sex etc should have been set down long ago as well as consequences for breaking these rules, you've said he had been drinking before so obviously there have been no consequences.
2006-10-20 10:04:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up the information on what kind of fines and jail time he'd be facing if he were to be caught drinking underage. Let him know. Don't sugarcoat it. And then I would suggest trying to let him choose the punishment. If he is a good kid, I think he'll be fair about it. If not, a grounding and some "community service" might be in order. Have him go to the neibors and help clean up their houses for a few hours for free. Let them know it's a punishment, but not to be too harsh.
Besides, it might teach him some job skills.
Oh, and show him some video footage of idiot people who are drunk, and then some really nasty videos of people who drink too much and are 1. jaundiced and very ill, 2. Injured from doing some stupid stunt while drunk...etc.
2006-10-20 06:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by firewater_tears 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take a drive down to your local hospital and show your son the accident ward and show him that drinking and driving is not as fun as he thought or drive him down to a cemetary and show him a grave maker with a young person there and say to him is this where you wanna be next it may be harse but it may save his life or better yet call up your local chapter of madd and see if they have any videos they have on drinking and driving and see if they can let you borrow one and make him watch it this may discourage his drunk driving
2006-10-20 05:51:30 · answer #6 · answered by adam d 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off I would try to explain the consequences off drinking. Ground him for a week. And if he doesn't have a curfew give him one and if he does I would lessen it.I wish somebody would of done something to me when I was his age and came home drunk. Maybe I would of never got into drugs. It took me many years to get clean. And it all started with drinking at parties to be cool and smoking weed. Good luck.
2006-10-20 05:52:28 · answer #7 · answered by kitten 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He would lose the privilege to drive without an adult. He should also take a driver's defense class at his expense. That way he'll learn a good lesson and get points added to his license and not taken in the future.
2006-10-20 06:04:20 · answer #8 · answered by miss tique 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
grounding for a month ! Or reducing allowances, if he's still receiving. what hurts the pocket most is usually the most effective punishment. Also, you must hide the car key ! I'v heard of several children who "steal" their parents cars when the parents are asleep, and get into traffic trouble/violations - to the extent of killing themselves or others, unintentionally.
2006-10-20 05:51:31 · answer #9 · answered by PikC 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can control his pocket money so that he doesnt have enuff to spend on booze.Explain to him the consequences & drinking & driving, has he done tht yet? See whats his friend circle like, the kind of guys he goes out with. Get him to avoid bad company.
2006-10-20 06:09:19 · answer #10 · answered by Heista 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋