This is in response to the paranoid husband question?

Question

Already I am getting hate mail! Yes my husband is in Iraq, and I am so sick of people telling me about who has it worse! Its not even about that. So I guess just because he is "fighting for our country" I have to be a doormat and continue with the DAILY accusations that I am going to leave him, and that I'm doing something behind his back? When I have told him SEVERAL times that I am committed to him and that I love him. I am being as supportive as I possibly can, and yes i understand the stress level. I guess what everybody is telling me is that my feelings dont count. All I want is advice about what to do! I DONT NEED TO HEAR ABOUT WHO HAS IT WORSE, OR TO PUT MYSELF IN HIS SHOES! Cuz thats just an excuse to but a crapload of stress back on me.

Answer 1

I am very sorry to hear about your position. I agree with you that it isn't fair of other people here to point fingers at you or make you feel worse. I know what a hardship it must be to not only have your husband so far away from you and to face his accusations. It isn't fair of him to take out whatever problems he has on you. And your feelings do count. What is important is that you let your husband know how you feel. Perhaps putting your foot down and telling him that if he can't call you and talk without all the accusations then you won't take his calls. I know that seems harsh, but you have to consider your feelings too. I mean, if there is no other way to convince him of your faithfulness - then don't talk to him for awhile. Or perhaps you can get some counseling about how better to deal with the problem. He has no right to treat you like that even if he is off fighting for his country. No one has the right to verbally, mentally or emotionally abuse you. Good luck. Peace

Answer 2

OK, this is not hate mail, and it won't be. You are worried about your marriage because you both have very different stresses, and NONE of them are helped by the fact that you are apart...at least that is what I get out of your post.
Now, there are some things you can do. First is find a support group for military families. Contact the local office of your husbands branch of the military (or Dear Abby as she has great resources for just this situation) to find a group near you.
Hang in there. I know it is hard to have this suspicion between you two and you can get resentful of it, but it is merely an effect of time and distance.

Good luck!
HTH

Answer 3

You undesirable concern! Your subject sounds so demanding! even in the adventure that your husband's concerns sound accusatory, you may nicely be grateful that he's telling you what concerns him. To remind him the way you sense approximately him, attempt beginning each communique by way of telling him something you like approximately him, or something you omit or a competent memory. you prefer reassurances from him, too. you ought to no longer have stresses all your own; he ought to be sharing those with you. issues would be greater effective whilst he comes domicile, top? For now, tell him what he can do to shrink the stresses at domicile. stable success! the certainty which you're inquiring for help shows your dedication to your loved ones.

Answer 4

mrs.indiaj what i perceive from your question is that you are very hurt by your husband's constant accusation.I also think that there is some loss of respect for your him beacuse of this.
The fact is both you are under lot of stress andboth of you are feeling very lonely and unable to cope with it.
The answer to your predicament is in your heart,FIRST AND FOREMOST DO YOU STILL LOVE HIM?
if yes, DO YOU LOVE HIM ENOUGH TO FORGIVE HIM for his behaviour and work with him to overcome this problem?
IF YES,then I suggest you hang in there and do some of the following things that I think will help.
1.try and call him rather wait for his call.
2.next time he goes acussing you ,tell him that you love him but, every time does that he is dis rspecting you, himself and the love you share.
3.send him letters with photo graphs of you ,your son and his parents writing to him how much you love him and miss him ,how much you appreciate what he is doing for you and your country.
4.find yourself a supprort system that helps you destress , tackle you problems better.
5.try keep your self busy in work that you find rewarding ,that will keep you occupied and help you overcome felling of being udervalued and lonly.
Iknow its been very hard and its going to be for as long as you are far fraom each other .BUT,the question is whether you want to save your mariange? then I THINK YOU WILL NEED TOGIVEIT ALL OYU GOT! WISH OYU ALL THE BEST.

Answer 5

It's all because of the stupid movie jarhead. I think they are showing that to the soldiers in iraq too.