A paranoid husband?

Question

My husband is in Iraq for a year. He has been gone for two months. Lately when we are on the phone he tells me that he is paranoid that i might leave him. I have reassured him SEVERAL times that I would never do that, but nothing is ever resolved. I understand that he is under alot of stress, but I can only take so much. Our relationship before this was perfect. Now I see it falling before my eyes just because of what he sees other people going thru. I cant stand it!!! I am trying to be as understanding as possible and yes I have told him exactly how I feel. But when I do, he accuses me of not being supportive. I have enough stress as it is by myself, and I have responsiblities of my own. Any advice?

What about my moral support? My husband was the one who chose to join the fuckin army, if u want to get literal..he knew what the deal was, so i guess that means that my feelings dont count. I think thats just an excuse for him to dump everything on me, when I already have enough to deal with. Our son was born 4 months premature and has special needs around the clock. But I'm the bad person?

Answer 1

I am a bit confused. Is your husband working in Iraq as a civilian or is he in the US Army, as ‘Cofeejit’ seems to think??? Well whatever the case may be, my advice to you is to STOP “BITCHING” THE MAN IS THERE TO PROVIDE FOR YOU AND THE FAMILY AND NEEDS ALL THE MORAL SUPPORT HE CAN GET.

Answer 2

You poor thing! Your situation sounds so stressful!

Although your husband's concerns sound accusatory, you can be grateful that he's telling you what worries him. To remind him how you feel about him, try starting each conversation by telling him something you love about him, or something you miss or a good memory.

You need reassurances from him, too. You shouldn't have stresses all your own; he should be sharing those with you. Things will be better when he comes home, right? For now, tell him what he can do to decrease the stresses at home.

Good luck! The fact that you're asking for help shows your dedication to your family.

Answer 3

While i was reading your case, what i felt first was a distinct craving to reach out to you. Yes, you have your responsibilities and they are difficult to meet, but you should be thankful your husband loves you so much, he worries about you leaving him. Count your blessings, he loves you, he is still faithful, he is concerned, he is not into drugs, into womanising and the like. Just be more patient and understanding. Stretch your patience an understanding, because it is understandable that he is extremely stressed out, being in IRAQ... not all can deal with this kind of stress. He needs you more than ever... remember your marriage vows in good or bad times. This is your bad time, hold on to your husband's hand and persevere.

Answer 4

take a seat him down and look him interior the eyes and tell him that U R no longer cheating (be calm as U can) and that on the grounds that he's SO paranoid that U think of he's overlaying up for his very own cheating by ability of throwing this on U, and notice what he says to that. heavily -- this might properly be a simple tactic of a guy who's cheating == he accuses the spouse, so he can shop her at abode, on an identical time as he is going out and sneaks around. Or ask him to pass to counseling -- that would desire to close him up. Ask him why he's in this kick? tell him U have no longer something to cover, and if he does no longer initiate appearing his age U deserve greater advantageous. He might desire to probable be dealing with the early stages of male menopause. My husband did this, finished with hearth engine pink electric powered guitar, and new audio device and mics, so he might desire to relive his teenage years. it rather is an exceedingly actual mid-existence disaster that adult males pass by way of. tell him U have no longer something to cover, and that he can call U on a cellular telephone all day long if he needs to, yet U prefer a existence.

Answer 5

It is a very difficult time for some- one who is serving their country? in a foreign environment. There is the unknown factor of Death, kidnap and torture to name a few and this can place a person under immense stress especially if they are having difficulty in coping.I would encourage him to speak to a councellor about his fears and continue to re-assure him that you still luv him. However if this is beginning to take its toll on you, then you must seek professional advice. I don't know if you have ever heard the song. Dear John, oh how I hate to write! this happens to alot of people serving in the forces etc.Alternately the final decision will be your, but don't do something that you may regret all of your life.

Answer 6

Skinny Jeans Or Chinos On Boys. 10 Points?

Answer 7

Is he employed there? Possibly the tense situation there is putting him under stress. But if he thinks that you may leave him while he is away means he does not trust you. Can he leave his job & come back home rather than just get paranoid about you & get you also worried like this.

Answer 8

family advocacy group.
there are actually marriage counseling sessions you can get. As you are no doubt aware of his stress there and his faith-wearing examples he is surrounded by do nothing to help his confidence. You should also realize that you are not at all alone on the home front and perhaps there is a meeting you can go to to help cope with the stress that comes back to you in this regard.
the gravity of the situation there is as intense as anything can really be. when combating a fleeting enemy paranoia is going to happen. its almost a good thing that he expresses that towards you rather than to his comrades. make a space in your mind to know all his doubt and fear and you will know the pain he is suffering inside himself there. perhaps you could find a proactive way to be an outlet for this pain rather than a victim of it.
thanks for standing bye faithfully. pray things will work out. you will find a way. take heart.
edit:
I am sure your husband did not anticipate having severe psychosis as a side effect of representing the nation as a soldier. Forgive him that.
Now about you: YES! you need your moral support. You are just looking in the wrong place. Go to family advocacy group. You definately arent too good for them. I am sure you know about it. Thanks for being a faithful wife to a soldier. You dont need to slide in your commitment. Its truly the time of trial and tribulations for the nucleus of your family. It seems you are catching a lot of harsh words here.
They are just saying where you should be in mind, optimal condition kind of thing. Its not such a bad thing what they say, but they are missing the point that you are affected in a way that is defeating you. You do need to fight back and be strong the same way he does physically, you need to do with your heart and will. You can steel yourself and be strong for him in the way that women are much more capable than us men are of doing. Go to family advocacy groups. Meet with other women having the same stresses. Talk about it with them and it will help a lot. They will also appreciate you. There are two ways you can go with this. You can go the route of the loser and eventually go out with that gaggle of hens that will frequent base pubs etc or you can stay with the ones that are concerned for thier children and want to set a good example to them.

Answer 9

When people under stress, before you knew it, a lot of things breakdown, including communication. The next thing you have, broken family, relationship, etc.
It is not easy to go through life, but we just have to take things one at a time. Get support, professional help if needed. And going through that experience make you stronger person.

Answer 10

Im not trying to be mean or anything but do you think your stress is honestly anything close to his? Hes just scared and lonely. He is fighting for our country everyday and doesnt know if today might be his last... Just put yourself in his boots... How would you feel if you were in iraq and your husband was home... And please dont tell me the thought of him being unfaithful wouldnt cross your mind even once... Again im really not trying to be mean.