I have been friends with this guy for some time now and the minute I met him a developed a crush.. well after flirting for months we finally kissed and fooled around a little I used to message him quiet regulary and he told me he didn't want a GF, so I backed off a little I caught up with him recently and sparks were still there and we have been kissing etc..again, He got drunk and explained to me the reason behind him not wanting a GF (It's because his ex cheated on him and really hurt him and he said he is over her now but not over the betrayal and just doesn't think he could deal having another GF yet) fair enough, I can understand that.. His friends keep telling me that he likes me but is just scared (they seem genuine) but I don't know what to do it is confusing me alot now, even though we have sort of been hooking up the last few weekends etc, I am too scared to msg him and be to full on, he does seem very sweet to me and acts like he does really like me... should I wait around?
2006-10-19 21:40:21 · 23 answers · asked by channille 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
My best friend has known him for about 5 years and her opinion is that he is one of the most upfront honest people she knows.. but she is even stumped at what I should do from here??
2006-10-19 21:52:51 · update #1
tell him how you feel after waiting a little and that your crazy about him
he might understand and get closer to you maybe not ive never seen this before
besides the way for those of you who dont know what GF is its girlfriend
2006-10-19 21:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by Hippy of 21st Century - Jargouss 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that if you really care for this guy you should have a real heart-to-heart talk with him. Let him know how you feel and explain to him that you are not that other girl. Let him explain his side of the story and how he feels about you (when he is sober). Then tell him that you understand, but you have a life and can't wait around forever for him and he needs to make a decision on whether or not to pursue the relationship. If you just put it all out on the line like that and if he really cares back for you, you just might break him out of that shell he is in. If he can't make a decision after that, just move on down the road cause he's just not ready and nothing else you say will change that right now. Good Luck, let me know how it goes! JIM
2006-10-20 05:00:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're a girl, he's a guy - perfect match. The both of you have feelings for each other, even better. Unfortunately he's been hurt in the past and now he has trust issues so just give him space to breath. Don't be too pushy, be his friend and let him know that you can be trusted (and I hope you can) and also take things slow, he will come around and realise that you should hook up, and just be there for him when he needs you - it's clear he has feelings for you. So should you wait? Yes you should, I doubt you'll wait for too long.
2006-10-20 05:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by sweetdivine 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldnt say wait per say, but If you really want a reltaionship with you have to realize you have to wait until he is ready since hes the one with the issues. Honestly I would move on for the meantime and if he decides to wake up from his hibernation then maybe the sparks would be there. Honestly I belive the whole bad relationship ju-ju cause I was going through it myself. Just dont let him think youre gonna be there sitting there twiddling your thumbs until he realizes how great you are. You dont have to flaunt men in his face, but move on. Dont put all your business out there like that, but at the same time do your thang! Loves it!
2006-10-20 04:51:46 · answer #4 · answered by Brown Beauty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you think he is genuine, put yourself out there, let him know how you feel. What is the worst that can happen, he turns you down, but at least you are not waiting around for months on end wondering. Honesty is always the best policy, but don`t be played, if tries telling you he still needs time, but hooks up with you when ever you meet, you know he is a PLAYA!!!!!!! Trust me you won`t be the only girl waiting around!!!!!
2006-10-20 04:50:04 · answer #5 · answered by Bruce d 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well make sure hes just not using you to mess around. Even though you think you know a guy ...you don't. Trust me on that one. But if hes still likes his ex then i say forget him. Guys don't talk about there ex's at all to other girls they like unless its to score pints in making them seem like the victim, or because they still have feelings for them in some way.
2006-10-20 04:49:57 · answer #6 · answered by D_Rod 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste you time waiting on this guy. He still has some soul searching to do. Besides you said he got drunk and told you this. If he is going to drowned his sorrows in booze you don't want to be around for that do you? I think you need to move on this guy is not ready for a relationship and he might not be for a long time.
2006-10-20 04:54:11 · answer #7 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eih i've in the same situation and you know what happen..he left because of another girl..well we started out friends that turn into mutual understanding and told me that he's not ready for another relationship because he's been hurt before and i waited for him to mend his broken heart..i treated him like my real boyfriend but he ended up hurting me..i know we might have the same story but your story might end up good..
I think for now you should think about it..deeply..if you're ready to wait for him and will not expect more than what you have right now then it's good..if you think you can bare the pain and dissappointment of having the sad ending then wait..but if you thinkt that waiting will do no good..then find someone else who's ready to commit himself..good luck..
2006-10-20 04:54:00 · answer #8 · answered by queen_maan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't wait........but you will, i know you will...... if he doesn't trust you now, he will never trust you. He is pulling the wool over your eyes...if he really loved you, he would trust you...
That line works every time though... and you caught it hook, line, and sinker. You will stick around and try to "change" him....
women are so predictable.
As soon as he "commits" you will get bored and move on...to chase other guys and "change them"
Be honest... you know it to be true.... his unavailability is irresistible to you .....
2006-10-20 04:49:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep all your options open and let hen get over what ever he needs to get over in the mean time you might fine some who is worthy of some one like you.
2006-10-20 04:52:38 · answer #10 · answered by Big Eagle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋