my dad threatened to kill my other half if i get unhappy over there.my mum is ignoring me and keeps crying she threatened never to speak to my other half again.like its all his fault!! we both decided this move together weighing up the pros and cons.the only thing that was holding me back goin was the fact that i would miss my family.we are very close.me and my partner have 3 children together and we think ireland will be a better life for them.also my brothers arnt answering my calls either,i feel so alone now...please tell me what should i do??
2006-10-19 20:50:29 · 17 answers · asked by mumof3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
They are just scared of losing you. Try to reasure them, that you are not going away forever. Good luck with the move. JUST REMEMBER, YOU CAN ALWAYS MOVE BACK IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT XX.
2006-10-19 20:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by siany warny 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Cork is lovely ... I live in Ireland, and I think your family are being incredibly selfish. It's not like you're moving to Australia, Cork has an airport.
However, they will come to terms with it eventually, and who knows, they might like it enough to think about moving over themselves.
What should you do? Continue with your plans, and keep mailing your family about what you're doing, the places you're looking at, etc. If they don't answer, they can't argue that you aren't keeping them informed. You could keep saying in the letter than his Mum says this and his Dad says that ... but do NOT ask your family what they think. Do not ask for their opinion in any way. You are simply keeping them informed. They will eventually get the point that you are your own person and can choose to live on the moon if you want to, without their say-so or input.
Got to be cruel to be kind, hon. And the best of luck with the move. Cork rocks!
2006-10-20 07:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by Orla C 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've moved across the world to live in this country. If I'd known the heartache it would cause, I wouldn't have done so.
My mother and brothers miss me and I miss them. I didn't go to my father's funeral, my mothers remarriage etc etc.
To this end, I have tried to brainwash my children to never leaving me. I forbid it at least once a month - and my kids laugh at me. But I think it would break my heart.
By the way, I left knowing that my mother and I don't get on. We get on now - absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I have to say - it is a cruel thing to do to a parent.
Sorry - good luck in whatever you decide to do. I support Michael K, by the way. It's just so hard ...
2006-10-20 07:25:54 · answer #3 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kate
I live in Ireland, you haven't said you it is that you have left, but up and moving if you both think it is better for your kids,, then you are both only doing whats best for your own children. Surly your mum and dad should understand this(it may be because your taken away there grand-children). The only thing i would suggest is to put all you feelings in a letter telling them that you both think its best for the kids,and hopefully that one day they will understand. After all you are both only trying to make a better life for the kids. If you ever need a friend just e-mail me. Good luck to you both and your kids
2006-10-20 03:59:02 · answer #4 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your family are being unreasonable and overly possessive. It's not really any of their business what you do now.
You need to do what you think is best for your own family.
It's only Cork, not Outer Mongolia.
The only reason they're acting like this is because they know it'll hurt you. If they thought you didn't give a sh*te they wouldn't bother. Sounds like you should ignore them for a while, and they'll come crawling back. They way they're behaving now you're better off without them.
2006-10-20 03:58:16 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara Doll to you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Poor you.Please focus on your relationship and that of with his family.Your family are being quite churlish,given space and time they will have to realise that if your partner is good enough for you then so be it,they should come round.mean while enjoy your new life...do not burden yourself or feel guilty about anything,think how silly your father will look if you dad tried to carry out thier threats.You are ona learning curve like we all are..i moved to Guernsey years ago with my partner..we now have two children adn live here in Devon.Love is learning to let go...they have to be a little bit more grown up.For now do not make the efforts to call them..leave them be,let them make the first move,now enjoy and get on with your life...if they love you as you said they do,they will come to realise that you are a grown young lady.
2006-10-20 04:49:37 · answer #6 · answered by janine s 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through something similar babe. I've recently moved away to live with my partner. It was touch and go for my parents and friends for that matter. They hated the fact I wouldn't be round the corner if anything happened. I've lived over here for 5 months now. I've been home to visit once but totally love where i am and everyone has gotten used to me being here. Stick with what you want to do. They're just frightened of losing you altogether. They're your parents, they'll not fall out with you for long once they realise your happy. Good Luck babe, Its your life x
2006-10-20 06:51:34 · answer #7 · answered by I-Love-My-Boys 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Bummer. They are acting up like little kids, aren't they?
Doesn't it make you want to leave even sooner now? It's yours and your husband's happiness. Away from people who act like they own you, can only be good and healthy for you and your husband. It's time to move to Ireland!!! It's a beautiful place .... I've been there only once, but I remember the breathtaking landscapes along the coast.... you will love it there. You will miss your family very much, though,... but so what- your husband and your kids are your first priority now. I don't think I would have missed my family as much, if they acted up like your family.... mine were very mature about it and gave me their blessing. I was the one who had hard time leaving them behind.
2006-10-20 04:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My goodness what a selfish family you have! Have you explained to them your reasons for going? they are behaving as though you are moving to the other side of the world! You need to sit them all down and have a proper talk with them to try and make them see how ridiculous they are being, it is only an hour or two away on a plane, and it is terribly childish of them to be reacting in this way.
If all else fails, write down your feelings in a letter, they may absorb more of what you are saying if you are not stood in front of them to take their shameless guilt tripping!
A family is supposed to be supportive of each other, it sounds like yours are just mindful of their own feelings.
2006-10-20 03:59:26 · answer #9 · answered by neogriff 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is what having children is all about you must love them enough to let them go, you will regret not going if you give in to their emotional blackmail they are all being very unfair to you and should be wishing you luck for your future and Ireland is not that far away they can come and visit you on holidays etc. Hope you decide what to do and stick to it your immediate family should come first.
2006-10-20 18:06:58 · answer #10 · answered by Kirks Folley 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The decision is entirely between you & your partner.Your family is using emotional blackmail to get their own way.Ireland is only a few hours away,& it doesn't cost much to get there,so there could be plenty of visits back & forth.Your father seems to be a real bully-boy.You are doing what you think is best for your children,that is your priority & your duty,stand your ground.Good luck.
2006-10-20 04:03:47 · answer #11 · answered by michael k 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋