i m committed...but a very dear frnd of mine is getting very serious for me as he loves me.he doesnt knw i m committed n i dnt wanna tell him..it will hurt him like hell.i m giving him another reason related to family..which is genuine also.he is terrible n very gloomy n i m sad too.i cant say yes to him in any condition..but i m feeling very very very bad n guilty that i m hurting him n he is so very sad. how can i help him to overcome this thing as i cnt see him like this
2006-10-19 20:40:56 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HONESTY! Even if honesty hurts him, in the long run he will appreciate your honesty. Not too many people nowadays would be honest. That's a rare trait nowadays. Try it you will see it is best. Honesty is good for even other things in life too...You will see.
2006-10-19 20:48:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can help him by being honest with him. The damage has been done -- you've led him on this far. You need to sit down and communicate your situation with him and tell him that he won't have any luck if he pursues you further.
It's like the movies. You know when the guy (or the girl) tells his (or her) love interest how much they ought to be together, and then the girl (or guy) takes a deep breath and explains how she (or he) can't be with him (or her)? That (was fun). lol
Anyways. Yeah, movies are made to be a mimesis of reality, otherwise we wouldn't care about the characters. So be a movie star -- tell him the truth. It's going to hurt him, and you're going to feel awful, but imagine if you don't tell him and he ends up getting all of these plans and ideas for the two of you in the future into his head? It'll be a million times worse.
2006-10-20 03:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by Andrew Jesse Brown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him a truth this will be much better no doubt he will be hurt but this will be temporary but it will hurt him great when he will come to know the fact himself. U may tell him through a common friend of both of U that it is not possible that a person may get each and every thing which he dreams about and secondly the commitment was before his offer and he was late.
2006-10-20 03:51:36 · answer #3 · answered by hm_pearl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to hurt people we love. The weird part is, no matter what the world hurts us...I believe I would rather be hurt with the truth than with a lie. Then at least you can both talk about the REAL truth...and go from there.
Hope you can salvage the friendship--they are important.
2006-10-20 03:46:20 · answer #4 · answered by Lily K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't panic... I had a similar issue before.
In fact, my best friend new I had a partner. However, like my friend, he'll be hurt, since his wish is more unlikely to be granted, but if he's really in love with you and cares about you, he won't stop pursuing you, or at least care for you as it has always been. It could also be unfair for him not to know anything about it. Best friends should always be honest for eachother.
Good luck to you both and remember, keeping it secret would be more painful for both. x
2006-10-20 03:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by Serenata 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you lead this guy on, without telling him of your commitment, than you SHOULD and WILL feel terrible.
Honesty is the best policy. You may hurt someone's feelings initially, but you hurt them much worse when they find out what you've been hiding. The longer you wait, the more emotionally invested he gets, the worse you hurt him.
2006-10-20 03:43:45 · answer #6 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are going to have to sit down with him and tell him the truth and tell him that you don't mean to hurt him in anyway. If you just want to be friends with him, then be so but don't hurt him if you want to keep having him as a friend.
2006-10-20 03:44:39 · answer #7 · answered by steph 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best way to confront this situation is to be honest. he will respect you more in the end. yes it will hurt either way. but if you value a friendship with him. then you need to let him know what the real deal is.
2006-10-20 03:44:31 · answer #8 · answered by beckdawgydawg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel guilt because you are not being honest!
Be honest, you are not doing anyone any good by lying.... And I can only assume you are afraid to tell him the truth, because you have been lying to him all along....
2006-10-20 03:43:46 · answer #9 · answered by next.... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop taking ownership of his emotions.
the fact is your life is going in a direction that no longer includes him.
he has to face that sooner or later.
2006-10-20 09:23:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋