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Hi all, Im a 24 y/o Female who can be very very shy. I dont like being shy simply for the fact that the girl im dating is more shy then i am. We have known each other for 6 months already and only kissed. I feel even more shy around her because she is so damn shy. I hate it. I try to just let lose but i cant. Its so hard because she doesnt ever make the move to kiss me or anything, its always me... and she tells me all the time she likes me so i know its not that she doesnt want to do things with me... How can i overcome this shyness i have? I am always myself around her but just not sexually. And i want to be and shes told me she wants me to be... Shes even told me i have to make the moves because she will never because of her shyness... so confusing! Haha. I say "okay f-it, im not gonna be shy" and that doesnt work... Maybe theres hope! ;) Thanks in advance for your responses.

2006-10-19 19:54:18 · 12 answers · asked by coffeejitterzz 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

12 answers

its like getting in the pool when its cold, just close your eyes, jump in, and hope fo rthe best, or theres the alternative, be stuck in the middle of the road your whole life. y agotta decide to go on way.

2006-10-19 19:58:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Use your shyness, rather than seeing it as an obstacle. It will make the sex wonderful and make you feel so close when you do have sex. See it as a positive, because it really can be. To overcome it, don't see sex as a different act to the other affections you share, like hugs, kisses, holding hands. It doesn't need 'initiating' any more than holding hands does. The move from a warm smile, through to full sex is a seamless one. If you don't see it as something apart from your other affections, it won't seem like a goal; it will just feel like another, albeit more intimate and intense, way of expressing your feelings. Don't feel pressured to do everything the first time either. So it's not like there's an act called sex that requires you to do certain things. If you're kissing and you'd like to touch her, do it, without the exprectation that you'll go down on her to follow up or that you'll both be naked in the next half hour. Get rid of the implied escalation, and enjoy the sensation of the things you're sharing.

Good luck, you'll do fine.

2006-10-19 21:13:41 · answer #2 · answered by Dirty_Idea 3 · 1 0

Could it be that this is the first time for both of you? Trust me I too was shy but once you hit the sack together.....WOT SHYNESS! She has more than invited you to seduce her so what you waiting for?Girls even when with other girls want romance! Tacky but what about the traditional approach, plan a romantic evening at home (make sure the intention is known) candles wine etc should do the trick! Take it nice and slow, if she really wants you then it should come naturally......

2006-10-19 22:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by punkyboygirl_24 2 · 0 0

Ok, here is what I would do....

Invite her round, get some good food in (either cooked by you or takeaway), get a DVD that you will both like, share a bottle of wine or have a few drinks of whatever you like (not suggesting that you get drunk, just enough to lower your inhibitions slightly and make you feel more relaxed) then take things from there. Maybe give her a massage or a foot rub while you are watching the DVD. Just take things slowly, remember that you don't need to rush things and everything will fall into place.

2006-10-19 20:25:10 · answer #4 · answered by Little Bo Peep 3 · 1 0

shyness is not innate but it is leaned. you learnt it from your girl friend. to over come it you should be intellegent enough to influence her to the positive result instead of being influenced by her. I do not mean that always you shall govern your way of comunication, but tobe influenced for things that damage your interest is destructive in your relation. so you have to guide your partnership towards positive direction.

2006-10-19 20:04:19 · answer #5 · answered by Abrham D 1 · 0 0

That sounds style of like me. I truthfully have Avoidant character illness (AvPD). you are able to in all probability do somewhat learn, and refer to somebody (a instructor, counselor, mum and dad) approximately it. i know how tricky it rather is to "purely communicate" and how complicated it rather is whilst human beings say it. If there is anybody in college (in any respect) you sense such as you are able to (possibly) refer to, purely attempt. Say some thing. It does not could be all that plenty, yet as quickly as you're saying some thing, it would desire to get somewhat much less complicated. From Wikipedia: Avoidant character illness (APD or AvPD)[a million] or irritating character illness (APD)[2] is a character illness recognized interior the DSM instruction manual, characterised by ability of a pervasive development of social inhibition, thoughts of inadequacy, severe sensitivity to unfavourable assessment and avoidance of social interplay. those with avoidant character illness frequently evaluate themselves to be socially inept or individually unappealing, and sidestep social interplay for worry of being ridiculed, humiliated, rejected or disliked. they often cutting-edge themselves as loners and record feeling a feeling of alienation from society. which you need to to examine each and every of the factors (indexed on Wikipedia) for the illness. in case you do no longer fairly in great condition the factors or you do no longer teach many of the indications, which you need to to check out another themes. the article is unquestionably fairly precise, and fees the DSM-IV (the e book psychologists use to diagnose themes). sturdy luck! i desire this helps! <3 Ashley H

2016-10-02 11:57:09 · answer #6 · answered by erlebach 4 · 0 0

well you could talk to her about your shyness. or really you could just go for it. or set up a nice date and just tell her you want to get intimate.

2006-10-19 20:00:35 · answer #7 · answered by yup yep 2 · 0 0

If you both want it then just do it. You initiate. Can't give any better advice.You may not be so shy afterwards.

2006-10-19 20:03:50 · answer #8 · answered by John T 2 · 0 0

ummmmm.....o.k.... Darn'it... You stop being shy and get your buttinskee over there and tell her..him... errr.... whom ever that you feel the relationship should evolve a little more if they would like it too...

... so there... if you wanted a push... there it is...

2006-10-19 20:00:13 · answer #9 · answered by Maken trax 4 · 0 0

If you afford to kiss then go ahead and initiate everything.You will overcome it

2006-10-19 20:20:22 · answer #10 · answered by nix 1 · 0 0

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