its been 4years we r shaing this bond.i really love him very much,u can say he is too practical n i'm too emotional.i do whatever he says,he is short tempered n i'm patient.he too loves me but he says its not necessary to show love but sometimes i feel that he should show.i wanna make him crazy for me n to make him feel the exact i feel for him.each n everytime i think about him,i wanna make him like he was earlier wen our relation started.he loved me very much,plase suggest something that how to attract him wen we talk on phone,or wen we meet how to make him hold my hand in front of our frens.we never go on date also so how to make hm agree for an outing. i also want dat he should love me the same way i do.n pls.dont think dat it is one-sided relation.its a proper affair.please help me.waiting for ur reply eagerly.
2006-10-19 19:24:42 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to get involved in a hobby or go to the gym and not sit next to him and hover over him. Don't you know men hybernate for x amount of days, weeks, or even months. It's like they go into a cave and think things through and each one snaps out of it at different times. You need to do things that please you that you haven't done bc of spending time with your bf.
Do not be anxious or hurt about anything. Sign up for a dance class or whatever you like. Do things for yourself. Go to the gym. If he truly loves you, he will show interest back. Do not give up everything for him. That is dangerous. Ofcourse women are emotional.
In my experience the only way I found true peace was accepting Jesus as my Savior. Find a Christian church near your home and you will enter the family of God. You will receive love and goodness and many prayers and support (from fellow believers). If you can also join a women's Bible Study. Praying is POWERFUL. Trust me I know. Get the book "Power of a Praying Woman" by Stormie Omartian. Very Very Good. It is the only way you will start seeing changes in you & your bf. Reading and learning the Word of God brings you peace, love, guidance to everything in life. You will never regret having Jesus first in your life. He is the answer to all your problems. Be dependent only on Jesus, not on man (meaning no bf)You will never be the same once Jesus touches your heart.Will you allow Him?
2006-10-19 19:36:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well something is totally wrong here. I can't believe that this guy you truely love doesn't give the same amount of attention that you need or the affection I should say. IT's been 4 years. Okay either you are doing something wrong....which i doubt....or did he lose interest or what happened.
Best thing to do is try thinking when you first started your relationship and bring that happiness or joy you both shared that brought you both together for a long time. Once you figured that out see if he reacts the same or differently. If he reacts the same, then I say you have a major problem. I would have a serious talk with him if I were you. Make him understand because this thing about "not necessary to show love" is insane and not normal. But most importantly he should realize what is happening and how you feel. Also....he needs to start putting some effort into the relationship more than ever...if he wants to have a future with you.
So....don't try hard anymore.....you've done your job.....not let him start doing his and makeup for his reckless mistakes. Take care and I hope things work out. Bye.
2006-10-20 02:37:20 · answer #2 · answered by cool_dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those are some major differences. You're not getting your needs met. He is who he is. He romanced you in the beginning because he was doing what he thought he had to in order to win you over to him. Now he is showing who he really is and you aren't content. You should think about what things are necessary and what things are absolutely not allowable for you to be content in a relationship and not settle for less than that. It's your life. Don't lose your identity in his life and his wants. One thing you can do, and this can make it or break it, which either way, would be all for the better, is pull away some. Develop your own interests that don't particularly include him, and don't be there at his beckon call. He will either become more interested or he will distance himself. Remember that you can't just hook up with someone and mold him into what you want. He is who he is. It was wrong of him to lead you to believe something different in the beginning, so keep it as a lesson learned. I am not encouraging you to break up with him, but whatever happens, if you stay true to yourself and respect yourself, whatever happens will be all for the better. Put yourself first, including your own needs. If it means you have to break up so that you will at some point be open to a more fulfilling relationship, then let it be.
2006-10-20 02:36:29 · answer #3 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi friend,
I thought my demands of similar kind were unreasonable .I find even u have the similar problems.Well let me tell u sometimes reassurance of demontrative love helps.After my child came along and age difference between us ,my husband never showed any love.It would start in the bed and end in the bed.He would reason it out that he is doing so many other things like providing food,shelter,clothes,vaccation and childs education...all that is love.I had left the job and in a way dependant on him for 3 yrs out of our 7 yrs marriage.I somehow reconciled that probably these things show love and i shouldnt demand more.But to be frank we grew apart...to an extent that we are not together.See all my questions and u will realize that we had severe problems in our marriage.My husband never sit with me to watch movie,or share my soaps or my kind get togethers.He instead would always redicule my choices and take my son also away from me.I realize i was always compromising and giving in all his likings.In our 7 yrs of marriage i dont remember when my husband held my hands or wispered in my ears that he loves me.Even while we were courting for one year he had started behaving in a manner where i always had to give in and since i was in love,i was trying to hold him at any cost.Dear such kind of feeling i guess is becoz we tend be lazy or we ourselves dont want to get hurt.
Your man either has to change completely which is not possible ,even he does he will get bak to his normal self after sometime.Pretentions dont work too long.You have to decide whether you want him at all the cost or you want your happiness in the longer run.I agree somewhere compromises have to be done but not at the cost of sacrificing your own desires and happiness.I was deprived of all these things and when my friend came along ,he did all those missing things which my husband never did.I fell for him and i am in more confused state.I dont say u will also end up that way...but dear life is too long and u never know what happens after 7-8 yrs of relationship.There is a stage in a relationship where we start identifying the problems areas and learn to cope with it or try to rectify it or run away from it.U will also go thru that...and thats when ur relationship of prev years will hold u bak.If the initial years are itself troublesosme ,what will hold u bak?
So think about it and then go ahead...
All the best.
2006-10-20 02:56:41 · answer #4 · answered by jennifer r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, DO NOT GO TO "cockednloded"'s website: That's a come-on if ever i heard one, & i've heard plenty! Second, I think you need to step` back & ask yrself what 'being in love' means to you. Then ask yrself if this relationship is mtg that definition. And is HE meeting YOUR needs? It sure doesn't sound like it. i know noone is going to convince you you are in an abusive relationship, but maybe someday you will look back at what most of us told you & see we were telling you the truth. You r being a victim, & it's time to stop. i hope you can see this & save yrself some heartache. ps. You can't make someone do or feel anything they don't want to, so trying to change yr bf is a lost cause & a waste of yr time & emotions. Good luck & GOD be w/you
2006-10-20 02:43:34 · answer #5 · answered by therealme 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him that! Tell him what you feel! You love eachother so much so you can tell eachother what you feel, he will understand and show you more affection! Be a little more active for instance, tell him that "you would like to go out" or just hold his hand when you are in public, he would not resist, he loves you! Just ask if he can say "I love you!" a little bit more or give you a kiss or two more! He will gladly agree, becuase he probably does not recognize that he does not show you enough love, although it exists. :)
And don't listen to all the people who say "Forget him get a better man"! Love is rare and hard like a diamond. Polish it well and it will shine, do not give up when things get hard, going through tougher times in a relationship build a stronger bond. Do not give up :)
2006-10-20 02:29:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Darling sounds to me like your two very different ppl that want different things... As hard as this may be to hear, he's not the type of guy that you should spend your life with. Like u, im an emotional person that love affection. We need our hugs and kisses and public displays of affection. You need a guy that will tell you how much he loves you and if not tell you, then show you in other ways, like holding your hand infront of friends, and wanting to take you out and show you off to everyone!
However if you really love this guy and think you can make things work... then stick by him. Try reverse psychology! Dont show him how much you love him... Stop doing things for him, just so he can see what it feels like... Give him a taste of his own medicine... and if this doesnt work, i think u really need to analyse whether your really happy in this relationship.. cos u know ppl do grow apart... same thing recently happened to me, and now ive found OUR ideal guy... who sleeps by me and hugs me every night... and loves taking me everywherre with him... you deserve to be happy! Good luck hunnie
2006-10-20 02:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by Elena 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I'm not recommending that you leave. Just make your natural tendency to show your love for him leave. That is, be more like him for a while. Take the attitude that you don't need to show love. If he asks what happened. Tell him you love him and you're trying to be more like him. He'll miss the old you. He'll want the old you back. And, he'll start acting like he did when he first met you.
2006-10-20 02:35:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think 4 years is enough time for him to go crazy about you.Ä°t’s actually grow over the years that when you cook his favorite meal,when he takes care of you when you get sick,when you surprise him with something that he loves,when he shares a secret with you...These are all the things that you get connect to each other and the relationship grows.I think he will show it if you stop wanting.He will show it ,in one special occasion...He will ,don’t worry
2006-10-20 03:14:02 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if uv'e been in the relationship for 4 years and the love is going away you need 2 get it back ^ quickly b4 it goes away!! maybe hang out with him more but don't stalk him! tell him that u luv him & try 2 set ^ dates 4 u 2! also if u r that despreat 2 get his luv back start flirtin woth other guys, but not 2 much though.
2006-10-20 02:33:12 · answer #10 · answered by DaysiJane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋