Are all thoughts and desires okay?

Question

I am a 35 year old mother of 2 and am married to my husband of 15 years. I was just wondering if all thoughts/desires are ok as long as they stay in my head. I am 100% sure that I would never act on them and no...it has nothing to do with cheating on my husband. I'm sorry for being so evasive, but I don't want to say exactly what the thoughts are incase someone I know might read this. I have been tormented by this for years and it keeps me from living life to the fullest. I don't mean this to brag, but just so you all know that I am not a bad person...I am a great wife and mother...always do my best to say and do the right thing and am very hard on myself if I feel I have hurt someones feelings. So, I am a good person and I know that, but why the odd thoughts? Could it have to do with the depression that I was diagnosed with several years ago? I was in therapy for 5 years and have been on medicines before too. Sorry I can't go into more details. I have never told ANYONE before. Thanks.

Thank you everyone! You all have been awesome! I wish I could go into more detail, but you all have done so great with the info I gave you. I just wanted you all to know that it has been much appreciated and I will rest a little easier tonight.

Answer 1

Some thoughts are "head candy" and are like a drug distracting us. Sometimes this keeps us from doing things we "should" be doing or dealing with, something that might be unpleasant but needs attention.

Some times these thoughts/desires become so strong we start to believe it is possible or might be true.
Obviously your thoughts are re-occurring and are severe enough for you to question weather you should be even thinking these thoughts.

Ask your self this "when do I have these thoughts"?
Is there a re-occurring theme and why?
is there something else I "should be" thinking about?
What am I getting out of having these thoughts?
Am I truly not affected by these thoughts?

You are the real judge whether it is OK, just be honest with yourself.

Answer 2

You really need to not think of a certain thought as "bad". As long as they aren't acted upon they're not hurting anyone. If you get obsessed with the thought that what you're feeling is "bad" or "wrong" you'll just obsess over that thought and drive yourself insane. The more you try not to think something the longer you'll think about it. I've had the same problem for around the last 5-6 years. Just try to distract yourself or do something else if it bothers you a lot. But don't feel like you're a bad person for having a strange thought or two. Or even a thousand. : ) Good Luck.

Answer 3

Hang in there. Obviously if you ask, you most likely think something is wrong with the thoughts. Ask youself how you would feel if you told your husband of these thoughts and it might put things into perspective. Or perhaps if he told you he had these thoughts. Minds are crazy things and act in ways we sometimes cant control, be we can keep things to a minimum if anything does go wrong. I hope you can pray because I know God can help. So God bless and good night! Everything will work out fine.

Answer 4

Imagination, thoughts, desires .... it's the stuff that great books are made of ... it's where all the good writers get their inspiration from .... as long as you're sure that these thougts, desires and fantasies are going to stay in your head who can they hurt??? ... Of course some of those desires and fantasies enacted with the right person/s may bring you imense joy or pleasure (if thats the direction of these desires/thoughts?) ... I must admit you have me a little curious as to what they might be ... but someday when you decide to "write that book" you'll include all these thoughts and desires carried out by your leading character and my curiosity will be satified :)

Answer 5

Thoughts are like birds that fly over your head. They occasionally may poop on it. Seriously you can't stop a bird from flying over your head but you can stop it from nesting in your hair. Be true to yourself. Be honest as much as you can with people and don't cater to the point that you disappear! Experiences are learning tools don't look at those five years as a waste. Don't try to go back and recoup. Go forward with your knowledge and help others. You might even help someone from going down the wrong path. Make friends with your husband and pay attention to the stuff you do like. Make new memories and dwell on those. Don't pick at the scab this time and let that old wound heal.:)

Answer 6

Hon, without knowing what you're thinking, I can't say for sure what I think the best thing to do is. Sometimes thoughts can be a sign of mental illness, and sometimes they're just thoughts. Ifyour thoughts bother you, maybe you could go to your doctor or therapist who treated your depression and talk to that person. They would be safe to talk to, because they are bound ethically and professionally to keep your visits confidential, so no one would know. They've also heard it all, so don't worry about shocking them. Since you say your thoughts are keeping you from living fully, I encourage you to see your doctor, because you shouldn't have to settle for less than the best life you can have.

Answer 7

I'm going to make a guess: You want to kill someone. If that is the case, then no, I don't think it's ok. Usually hatred is a result of lack of communication. I would suggest that whatever it is, you tell the person and ask them to say sorry.

The answer really depends on what your thought is, so I had to make a guess.

Answer 8

Seems as though every one has the same or similar answer..There is one thing completely overlooked here and that includes the psychologist one poster referred to.

If your thoughts, fantasies and desires create a feeling of guilt, it is not favorable for ease of mind. Guilt is an emotion and one must remember; those emotions are stored and can become a trigger for an unwanted action or reaction whenever an associated word or phrase is presented.

Answer 9

whats up, it somewhat is high quality, an excellent form of folk have ideas like this one, despite if this is no longer a sin, i'm fairly advantageous approximately it. in case you sense disturbed approximately having those ideas you need to seek for a psychological physician, and seek for scientific care. :)

Answer 10

My psychologist says there are no wrong thoughts/feelings. Only wrong action. Interested in the specifics, too bad we can't discuss them... hope it helps.