um help with um getting over death, and stuff..?

Question

ok um im not exactly sure.. how to say or what to do. but umm.. how do i get over my moms & sisters death? which happened. a couple months ago and not at the same time... & how am i suppose to feel or act. or idk. toward my dad getting re-married so fast?... any help would be greatly appreciated...

Answer 1

hi hun,

Have you talked to a school councilor about your feelings? This is something that you will never get over, but the pain and the hurt does lessen. The days that seem endless, will become easier for you to endure, but this all takes time, and that is something you should allow yourself, Time to mourn and time to grieve.
It is hard to do that on your own especially when your dad is trying his own way by getting married so soon. It doesn't mean that your dad didn't or still doesn't love your mom, this most likely is a transitional relationship and it may work or it may not, but try not to let his moving on cloud your judgment of him.
Parents are human and we make mistakes, but there is no doubt that he loves you dearly.
if you can try to talk about this with him, and share your feelings with him, that helps, but we often think that a death in the family will bring that family together, closer than before, and sorry to say that rarely happens.

Begin to write your feelings down on paper so you do not begin to internalize your feelings. allow yourself to feel angry and confused, frustrated and all the other feelings that you are going through. Your mom and sister loved you very much and you aren't alone, eventhough it feels like it.

if you ever need to chat, feel free to use my email, you have a friend on this side of the net.

anyway, I strongly urge you to talk with someone, I suggest a school councilor because you don't have to pay and what you say is still confidential, and they can point you in the right direction to your healing process. Even try your local crisis center, phone them and ask for phone numbers and support groups to help you with your situation. There is always someone to listen... thanks for reaching out.

Shannon

Answer 2

My sympathy goes out to you... Every one deals with death differently. I am sure there are days you feel sad, happy, confused. You will have days you forget about the death, days where all you think about is your mother and sister. All these are very normal especially when they just past away a few months ago. If you feel that you need to cry just let it out. It will make you feel alot better. If talking to someone will heal your wound than talk to a friend or a family members. This can ease your pain. As for your father's re-married so soon. I don't know how his relationship was toward your mother when she was alive. So it's hard to make a judegement about him. Like I said everyone heals differently. Your father may feel the best way to get over your mother is to move on and start a new family. If him re-marrying is bothering you and you feel that it's to soon. You shall speak your mind and let him know how you feel about it. I wouldn't say get over your mothers and sister's death but rather remember what a great person they were and also cherish the great time you once shared with them. I am truely sorry for your lost.

Answer 3

Oh, I am so very sorry! That is a very hard thing to just get over. There is a place in your heart that will always belong to them and I'm sure your Dad feels the same way. There is no certain way you are supposed to feel or act, everyone deals with grief differently and in their own way and in their own time. Eventually you will feel more accepting about what has happened and go forward with your life never forgetting them, that is what they would want?! Find the strength to move forward yourself and know that your Mom doesn't care that your Dad's with someone else, wouldn't she say something like good for him, he shouldn't be without someone to take care of him. It sounds like he's moved on and in your own time you will too. If you think your Dad is getting married too fast for you, ask him to wait until it's been at least (whatever amount of time is comfortable for you) before re-marrying. He is your dad and he cares how you feel too.

Answer 4

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I imagine that right now you just don't know what is normal when such a traumatic thing happens... three times. Your father is a tricky situation and I wouldn't blame you for having some angry feelings about this. But as far as your loss is concerned, I can't tell you when you will feel 'normal'. But understand that it is NORMAL to question of you are normal when you have had a crisis like this. I wish I could make this easier for you. But grief is a very long process and varies for everyone. My advice would be to see a grief counselor or join a support group for loss. That way you can connect with others going through the same thing. It will help you cope with the changes and understand how to live beyond this. My husband was with his father when he died of three massive heart attacks and he will never get over it. But he has learned to cry about it and to talk about his memories.

Answer 5

Hey Sweetie, you have lost two important people in your life and I'm sure your emotions feel overwhelming. I too lost my mom several months ago and the pain is as real like it just happened yesterday. All I can say is that time will help heal the pain and the memories of your loved ones will remain. You can cherish all the times you shared and continue the knowledge you gained from each of them. Life is full of good times and bad and all we can do is carry on and make the right choices for a brighter future; someday you'll be a mom too. As for your father getting married so soon, I don't know, maybe it is his way of dealing with the pain; i know it must feel like he is forgetting about his past so soon. I just hope you have shared your feelings with him; maybe he can answer your questions. Take care and keep strong......

Answer 6

I'm so sorry to hear about your mom and sister you have my deepest sympathy.

A couple of month that's is really to soon to get re-marred. Us-ally when someone loses a spouse it take them a couple of years to get involved with some one else. I would be upset cause yes you do move on with your life but didn't think a couple of months you would be getting over that. It is to soon may be its a rebound . If i can be honest and not upset you or hurt your feeling if i do I'm sorry. But what i have seen. Your dad might been seeing her before your mom pass away. I know a few of people that when their spouse was dying of something. They are out looking for someone else while their spouse is on their deathbed. I am very sorry about your mom and sister.

Answer 7

You never really get over the death of someone so close to your heart, you just learn to cope by remembering the good times that you spent with them that made you smile. And by going on life day to day as normal.

Your dad is re-marrying so fast, probably to fill the void. If the woman is good to him and he is happy, you should support him.

Answer 8

Try "A Dirty Job" by means of Christopher Moore. It's approximately demise however it is quite often now not all that miserable. Moore has a tendency to be a extra humourous author. Also, take a look at the Abhorsen trilogy by means of Garth Nix. It entails necromancy and stuff like that.

Answer 9

I do not want my help to be appreciated but all I can say is that if your father re-marries,you just let him do so as that is HIS life. But,You just have to keep on telling urself that you are alright,you are no more lonely and more positive things.If you keep too much in ur heart,you just cry it all out!cry it out to someone who does not necessarily need to say lots of comforting words.. But,if u keep on telling urself that you are ok and alright,you are controlling your subconscious mind.Note that this mind follows WHATEVER you say no matter right or wrong. So,if u kp on telling urslf that,you will eventually think everything is ok.You nd not react or feel.Gd luck wit ur lyfe.

Answer 10

alright,
i know how it feels to loose a parent.
just take an easy and know that life is life and there is nothing you can do about there deaths.
if your dad is getting married fast try to make friends with the girl that he is dating,
I know it will never be the same as your mom but it might make you feel better.