okay, here's the deal. my mother-in-law (whom i love to death) is trying to make vacation plans, for my whole family *me, husband and kids* to come visit her. what's the problem? well...basically i feel as if she is making all the plans w/my husband, and then they are just telling me what's GOING to happen as an after thought. i feel like i have no say in the matter. yes, i've talked to my husband about how i feel, this has happened before. he and she still seem to leave me out of the loop! talking and explaining is not working. now what?
2006-10-19 18:23:53 · 6 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
OH, GOODNESS! what a pain in the neck! why is it that mothers-in-law are ALWAYS trying to boss around????
my MIL is the same.... it's almost like they think that they're part of the "majority", because they assume that their child is on their side ( and 99% of the time it's true)....
what to do, what to do?..... you need to hit your husband on the side of the head!!! it's HIS FAULT that his mother feels she's entitled to make decitions about your life! HE is the one who should tell her :"mom, thanks for the ADVICE, I'm gonna talk to my wife, see what she thinks"
unfortunately, men are so used to letting their "mommies" do EVERYTHING for them, that they don't seem to mind if they continue to do so, even after they got a job, a wife, kids....
shame on him!
2006-10-19 18:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by lost in space 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Start making plans of your own. Make it some place you and your husband would love to go...alone. Romantic, exotic, the works. Then just after he agrees, tell him your mother is going. And she'll be staying in the same room as the two of you.
2006-10-20 01:26:50 · answer #2 · answered by NSisifo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Per Dr. Phil, it is up to your husband to manage his mother. Your point of contact is your husband. If your husband is not responding to your not-so-subtle hints, be more direct. Your husband has one priority .. You (and his family!).
Even if his mother is paying for the entire vacation, she needs to copy you on all plans as they evolve as a courtesy. Your husband needs to copy you on all communications with his mother. If he does not agree to this common curtesy, tell him you're not going on the vacation. Caution: Do not make a theat if you are not prepared to carry it out. Good luck!
2006-10-20 01:42:45 · answer #3 · answered by Entrepreneur 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Guys don't always get it. I would call her and say you want to be included in making the plans and feel left out. she should understand. Don't feel like you are being rude, its your vacation too, you should feel like an adult, not just one of the kids.
2006-10-20 01:27:46 · answer #4 · answered by Tabitha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are a mom, and you know sometimes with our kids we just decide for them, is like they never grow..... if you lover so much, she might feel the freedom to arrange things, since she doesn't suspect you will mind (because you are probably nice to her all the time) she probably has an idea of what she wants, if it bothers you ones she sets the plan, suggest something different in a polite manner.... good luck...
2006-10-20 01:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by tjdeya24 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just give him a friendly warning that if things go according to her plans, he can expect that you will be planning a holiday excluding her entirely. Warn him that the holiday will be very soon after hers & it will be expensive!
2006-10-20 01:27:23 · answer #6 · answered by Claude 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋