if a girl is happy in her new relationship . . would she still be calling her ex that she dumped for this new guy every couple weeks? . . .even though he hasnt answered or sent her something back in 4 months? and she still tries to contact him . . also . . can girls act completely happy on the outside and really be torn up on the inside? is there any way to tell if a girl is feeling like that? . . and if she wanted her ex back why would she still be with me and acting fine? why wouldnt she go back to him? maybe because she dumped him and doesnt know if he will take her back? they did go out for 2 1/2 years so i dunno . .. whats goin on?
and she hasnt told me that shes been calling him . . . and we have been dating since april and have been in an actual relationship for like 2 months . . . how long would she use me as a rebound if thats what i am? wouldnt it be over by now?
2006-10-19 17:58:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you should tell her that you know she has been contacting her ex and what the deal is with that. Sometimes people find it hard to let go and she is probably thinking that she made a mistake (this sensation wont last long for her), I think you should remind her of the reasons she left her ex for you by being a bit more romantic in the next couple of months and she will totally forget about him.
2006-10-19 18:01:21 · answer #1 · answered by Knowitall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I do not believe she would be calling her ex if she is happy. However, don't get me wrong, from what you have stated I do not think it is something that you have done. Her ex doesn't seem interested if he will not try to contact her in any way. Yes unfortunately we can act happy and be torn up. Anyone can. It is our human nature and partly due to society that we do not want people to know we are having problems. We want to seem that we have the world at are fingertips. You can usually tell when something is bothering someone you are close too. It may be hard and something you don't want to do but you could always ask her. Just let her know you are conserned and don't mean to pry. If you think she wants him back and think she will be happier you may ask her and suggest that if that is what she really wants then she souold go. However, this would also be very difficult to do. She probably is afraid he won't take her back and if that is the case she doesn't want to loose you too. I am sure that she has feelings for you as well. That could be why she stays. She may not tell you about the calls for a number of reasons: perhaps she is embarassed, or dosen't want to hurt you. I hope your not a rebound but it seems like this could go on until she gets ahold of this other guy. Perhaps she just need closure and that would be good since you guys have been together since April. Hope all goes well. You may need to ask questions but be compationate she will more than likely cry.
2006-10-20 01:13:31 · answer #2 · answered by CGS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are her rebound. I think that she still wonders. You said she tries to contact him but he won't contact her back. She broke up with him. Do you know why? After she dumped him, did he ever speak to her again? They say the best revenge is to never speak to your ex-partner again because it will kill them. That's probably what he did and now she's wondering about him. However, you have feelings that need to be considered. If she isn't over him, then you'll most likely end up getting hurt. You can't start sometime new when you're not over the past. What will happen the day he calls her back & asks her to hang out? Will she go? Most likely. Will she tell you? No. What happens if he says "Hey lets get back together." Will she leave you like that? Most likely. You need to have a talk with her about her ex. Ask her if she talks to him? has feelings for him? calls him? You already know some of the answers, so if she lies to you then you know what the deal is. You can't trust her and she will break your heart.
2006-10-20 01:12:14 · answer #3 · answered by Rica 82 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you have been together since April, she should not be calling her ex. I think she is just keeping you on, until she can find a way back to her ex. She probably really likes you, and does not want to lose you, if the other thing does not work out. Tell her you know what she is doing . And let her know that you deserve better than this. If she is just using you, let you go. If she really cares for you, then she needs to stop calling this guy. In a true relationship we all need to be respected and shown love. We should not be worrying about stuff like this.
2006-10-20 01:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by woman of steel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like she still has feeling for him. She doesn't want to be alone. She can't be with him so, she's looking that guy into you. I was in a similar relationship. Since April is nothing, try more than 2 years. I still had feelings for my ex but stayed with the other guy. I finally broke up with him, because he didn't deserve being with someone that didn't love him back. And you don't deserve it either. I was torn up inside but no one could tell. Girls can hide everything. So, stop lying to yourself and tell her the same. Better end it now to protect yourself from more pain.
2006-10-20 01:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by ILuvMe 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I'm going to try to answer all of your questions. She might be trying to talk to him just to get him to realize that she is a human and its ok to be friends with her. Or she might miss him if they were together that long yeah that could affect her a lot. Yes we can act happy on the outside and be crying on the inside. No I don't think there is a way you can tell. That could be a possibility she might be afraid of rejection from the one person that she was with that long. Just let her know that you know about her trying to talk to him. Tell her that you feel that if she is trying that hard that you don't feel like you're all that she needs and that if she wants him then let you go. Don't hold on too long if this lasts that could end up hurting you way more than her in the end. Good luck.
2006-10-20 01:11:13 · answer #6 · answered by Sissy Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seem she has not put a closure to that past relationship. I think she might want to know how is her ex doing now, her feeling for him is still on. Yes, some people whether man of woman can act but there is still a loophole to their cover. Choose a suitable place and time, talk to her about it. After the talk then u decide what to do. All the best!
2006-10-20 01:17:41 · answer #7 · answered by Renew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She isn't over him, dude. Your choicesw are, 1) leave 2) let whatever will happen, happen and deal with it then. or 3) talk with her about it in a non threatening way. And then make up your mind to move on or stay.
I've gotten into this type of situation and went on ignorant, then when it became obvious, kept hoping he would go away, then after awyhile, went away myself, much crazier for the experience. If it was me, I hope I would be sane enough to leave within the first month. If I wasn't that sane then, I would be gone by now. Good Luck. I know it ain't easy. You are worth more than this, just like I am.
2006-10-20 01:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by bob h 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes she might be having problems with her past and maybe she just don't feel like they had closure maybe thats why she's trying to get in contact with him. hell im still in a rebound relationship going on 7 years so i wouldn't really put a time frame on that. odds are she is happy with you or else she wouldn't be with you but she's prolly just trying to sort out what happend with him, possibly so she doesn't make the same mistake with you. goodluck.
2006-10-20 01:04:56 · answer #9 · answered by n4il_p0lish2000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
personally, I have been with my husband for over 4 years, but still have a hard time with thoughts of my ex whom i dated for 3 years. We had no closure, and never will. Sometimes I get tempted to call him just to see how he is, and because I wish I knew if he really loved me as much as I loved him, and if it hurt him as bad as it did me. I KNOW my ex is totally wrong for me, and that my husband is the right one, but its hard to just forget about someone that you really really cared about for so long. He was a big part of my life, and then POOF! over! no contact at all. I dont wanna be with him, but I will always remember him, and part of me will always think about him and wonder how he is doing. I even used to try emailing him, to see if he would just keep a small line of contact with me, but I'm glad that didnt work out. I wish I could just forget him completely, but the truth is, I loved him a lot. Your girl may or may not be using you as a rebound, I dont know her. Or she may just have unresolved feelings and need some closure. Its hard to think that a guy could get over us. Its like, we WANT him to be tortured that he lost us, and for him to know that we have moved on, and be even more hurt by that, but at the same time, we want him to be happy. Us chicks are confusing. Just look at the other areas of your relationship. Try to talk to her about it. Ask her if shes still hurting, thats normal. Give her a chance to open up about it, without worrying about hurting you. Girls reallly need to talk stuff out to get control of our feelings. If you can just listen to her without trying to fix the problem, but just give her an ear and a shoulder, I'm sure she would adore you even more for it.
2006-10-20 01:07:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋