I know this question has been raised, but I'm really struggling with this. My BF downloads it and, I assume, watches it when I'm not around. I've recently had a baby and my body is NOT anything like the women in these flix. I feel that if there's pu$$y in the house, than he shouldn't have to watch it. I feel inferior and inadequate. I please him well, take my time and make his toes curl. I'm even the one initiaing all the kinky stuff because I'm curious and starting to go through my sexual peak. When I find his stash here and there and get upset and try to talk to him about it, he just invalidates my feelings and tells me that I'm just insecure. He's in bed at night with me and and doesn't do much outside of work and kids because we're new to the state and have no family and few friends here. I'm really a mess over it and always in tears. Can someone please help me understand, and am I just crazy or do I have a valid, heartfelt point here?
2006-10-19 16:49:03 · 9 answers · asked by baybeegirlblue 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have a valid point.
Most guys like to look at porn. They could be with the women from those same movies, and they would then look at other porn.
It is nothing to do with you.
2006-10-19 16:51:52 · answer #1 · answered by S h ä r k G û m b ò 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do have a valid point. If something your partner is doing is causing you pain, then they should stop and discuss it with you. He has no right to tell you how you feel and why you feel that way just so he can keep looking at other naked women. Sit him down and have a calm, but firm, discussion with him, and don't let him tell you what you're thinking.
And to the people who will tell you that you shouldn't get upset at all because he's only looking and not touching, ignore them, as that's a stupid statement. It's like saying you can't get mad at someone for stealing your wallet because they didn't also punch you in the face.
2006-10-23 06:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've just had a baby, it wouldn't be surprising for you to be extra-sensitive about your body. He should be more attuned to that and not minimize your feelings or put you down about them. Every new mother is highly sensitive until her hormones calm down.
You could contact COSA, that's an organization for partners of sex addicts. I'm putting two links below for you to look at. One is for partners, the other is for sex addicts. Maybe you can do some research and see what you think about his interest in porn, whether it's an average guy's interest or more than that.
You may need to consult with a counselor at some point to get unbiased professional feedback about your issue.
I encourage you to pursue a resolution to this. Take your time with it and try not to drive yourself too crazy about it. You and your new baby need for you to take care of yourself, eat right, rest as best you can, and avoid stress as much as possible.
Good luck.
2006-10-19 17:07:47 · answer #3 · answered by KIT J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is very natural for a guy to look at / watch porn even if he thinks you are the best woman on earth. The fact that he does that is not in any way a statement about you nor how he feels about you. Pretty much every guy does this. I wouldn't worry about it.
2006-10-19 16:57:38 · answer #4 · answered by johnlb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel about it.
If he really cares, he would actually stop!
But baby-he's with you!
Maybe he is just getting some ideas-positions, sounds, places, wants to know what you look like when doin' it, wants to make his own movie?
He has you and better do everything he can to keep that!
He can't get those w.hores!
OMG! You have just had a baby?!
If it's his, he just cares about his own selfish needs.
What an utmost form of disrepect!
HE is insecure for having the porn!
2006-10-19 16:54:33 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're gonna have to relax and let the man watch his porno. If it's what he's into, you ain't going to change him. You'll just risk isolating yourself from him. But if you're cool about it, he'll probably just use it to get turned on and come looking for you afterwards.
2006-10-19 16:59:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can install a porn filter software like NetDog on the computer,that help you to block all porn sites quitely in the background when he's surfing on the internet. http://www.NetDogSoft.com
2006-10-19 17:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men watch porn.It's something that you're either gonna have to deal with or decide that you can't handle it.Talk to him again.Let him know that it hurts and bothers you.Tell him that you're his girl,and that you're the one to please him-not those porn stars.
2006-10-19 16:58:35 · answer #8 · answered by Abby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM AND LET HIM KNOW HOW YOU
FEEL ABOUT THIS. AS FOR YOU DONT PUT YOUR SELF
DOWN YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU HAD A CHILD SO
DONT LET THIS BOTHER YOU. BUT HE NEED TO KNOW
THAT THIS BOTHER YOU. GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-19 16:53:24 · answer #9 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋