Just got out of a bad situation in July..Present relationship on the rocks because other person is stuck in the past.....And I feel I'm being tortured emotionally.....What to do, what to do, what to do? I'm not so dense that I can't be advised, but be gentle by all means.
2006-10-19 16:38:29 · 17 answers · asked by 35 YEARS OF INTUITION 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are jumping into and out of relationships too quickly. Take some time to get to know a number of girls well by doing brotherly/sisterly things with them before you pursue another "love."
2006-10-19 16:42:51 · answer #1 · answered by Serendipity 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Most people will tell you that time heals all wounds. That's true to an extent, but it will probably never take away the ache. Getting involved with a new person on the rebound is seldom a good solution, because you're not the real you right now. (I hope this makes sense)
I was so torn up by a break-up ten years ago that it took me a long time to get over it, and there's still a deep scar there that will never go away. I wish there were a good way to just brush it off and go about your life and be happy. It's very hard.
I plunged into work and hobbies, and started a vigorous exercise program.
Your present relationship may not make it if she/he is stuck in the past. I wish there were a way to wake some people up to what's happening right before their eyes, but it just doesn't happen most of the time. If you find yourself all alone, use that alone-time to so a little soul-searching, but never ponder too deeply or too long because sometimes that can leave you totally depressed.
Good luck to you, my friend. I understand what you're going through.
2006-10-19 16:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by Sarah E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question is what is your new interest stuck on? Past relationship or are they dealing with other issues. It seems that sometimes some people may be working out why they make the choices they make based on the things that formed who they are at that time that they make that choice. As we grow, each relationship we have whether it is with our parents, siblings, other relatives, person next door, friends, etc we take something away from that and draw on it in our future relationships. When you end up making a choice that you begin to question you may be trying to sort out why and how to correct that so it doesn't happen again. On the other hand, if the new interest is still hung up on a previous relationship perhaps it is best just to let them be and busy yourself with other friends and activities. You may find someone better suited to your personality and needs or that person you left behind to move on may just work their way out of their funk and come to realize what they are missing. If it's really worth it, it will work itself out. That's the best I've got--enjoy the things you enjoy. Life is too short!!
2006-10-19 16:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by wannaknow 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time.
Becareful trying to find someone new. Actually, this board has helped me and I'm going to say what I've been finding out:
1: Get out and mingle, it really doesn't matter where but where ever you go, it should be someplace you want to go.
2: If you go to a bar/club, buy one drink and nurse it all night. do not get drunk. Drink down water along with the sips (still tip the bartender good).
3: Don't try and find Miss replacement right away. If you find someone, great, just don't transfer your feelings for the one that "got away" to the new one.
4: Actually, go on casual dates with alot of women. Nothing need happen. Just get your self-esteem built back up.
5: NEVER, EVER talk about your ex. If someone asks, just be yeah, I had one and just say, things happened but here I am now.
Hope that helps.
2006-10-19 16:46:50 · answer #4 · answered by Geo-Guy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well ...when you get out of one relationship it's best to just take a break and clear things...think of what type of a relationship you want to be in next and don't make the same mistake again. This is where you are growing up and learning something! this past relationship should be able to make a better choice in the future. I'd say wait a few months before you get into another one. No need to rush. take your time and the next time you do meet someone who you think you might be interested in...get to know them! most people just never take the time to get to know who u are dealing with. see this way you are not wasting your time.
2006-10-19 16:44:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think the only thing that can truly heal a broken heart is time. The sad part is that someone not even time can heal. Sometimes the bond is so strong that you can't let go. I wish you all the best. Did you guys get together right after she broke up with her ex, sounds almost like a rebound relationship.
Good Luck!!!!
2006-10-19 16:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by poetic princess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Time is the key factor in healing a broken heart, and you can help it heal faster by keeping yourself busy with doing all kinds of enjoyable and fun stuff. Exercising daily also helps.
On the list of enjoyable and fun things to do is to be with other fun and enjoyable people...the dating will come naturally.
And for Pet's sake, dump the stuck-in-the-past person for your own sake.
2006-10-19 16:44:31 · answer #7 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have a theory about love relationships. They have a half-life. For example: if you went out with someone for 2 years, it will take you 1 year to completely get them out of your system. I recommend not fighting it. Instead accept that it will suck and in the meantime, find yourself a nice pacifier. Like some fun hot chick.
2006-10-19 16:43:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
not sure if its your broken heart or hers you are trying to mend.
if its hers and you really care about her, then give her time. ive been where she is and it took me a long time to trust someone again. lucky i had someone there who was patient and let me talk and talk and talk and yell and scream and he stood by me. nearly four years on he is the love of my life and i would still be stuck if he hadnt been so patient and loving to me.
if its you then, find someone who you can talk too, before you get over it you will get angry then you can let the past go. it isnt easy. good luck.
2006-10-19 16:43:33 · answer #9 · answered by vanessaoz 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
wow, exact same situation here, so i don't know that i can offer a lot of advice... i guess if you feel like you can move on then just try it and see what happens. If your heart is still hurting, don't rush things... i hope it works out for you, good luck!
2006-10-19 16:41:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋