I have felt really weird lately about my four month relationship with this guy. He really does care for me, calls all the time, and we spend every weekend together. But, he makes these comments sometimes that have me feeling like a failure. He says he doesn't care if i have a college edu. but his last partner had her master's and he told me that his grandma says i'm not on his education level. I am currently in college, but just started; I'm just insecure b/c i'm afraid that eventually he will become more attractive to someone of his educational level. Am i being paranoid or could i be right?
2006-10-19 16:16:17 · 25 answers · asked by precious girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
How do you two treat each other? Do you make each other feel better about yourselves? Do you laugh? Are you more alive when you're together? Do you want to have his children and raise them with him? These are the important things.
If you're in college and you read a lot, the educational differences will fix themselves.
2006-10-19 16:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by Otis F 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
That really depends. I mean if he really cares for you and knows that you are at least trying to make an effort to get your education then he really shouldn't have a problem. He should cut the comments too. I know his granny means well too and wants the best for him, but lets be for real, just because he has his master's does not mean he is any smarter than you. The real education you get is from life and your experiences. School smarts only gets you a job. You should not feel paranoid at all, get your education and be with your man. If he lets an education level stop your relationship, then he really isn't as smart as he thinks.
2006-10-19 23:33:30 · answer #2 · answered by Bloody Kisses 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously someone who values an education, however, society in general needs to stop labeling and judging people according to what level of education they have attained. In other words, you not having a college degree should never be an issue in any relationship that you have. You need to tell him how you feel, and make sure he understands that YOU don't feel like a failure and that YOU don't have a problem with it. You are not a failure, and he needs to accept that. The only way he's going to stop bragging about his ex who has a Master's, is by realizing that not everyone in this world is interested in pursuing higher education.
2006-10-19 23:24:46 · answer #3 · answered by World 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok so I'm dating a guy who is going to Dental school at NYU. He has two masters in different fields, but that's besides the point. I have only been through one year of college and am considering going back in the spring but in the meantime---sure I feel a little insecure. It doesnt help that my family is extremely educated and is always saying the same things to me "You arent on his education level" "The educational gap will only get bigger" and blah blah blah. The only advice I can give you, which my boyfriend reassures me with everyday--is just make yourself happy. If you have the confidence and believe you are worh something-- everyone around you will believe it too. "Say anything with confidence and everyone will believe you." Even though what other people say will get to you, try really hard to maintain a good self image of yourself so that when you hear people say negative things about you it doesnt bother you. Do something that gives you self worth. Volunteer for something, hike the apalachian trail, anything. You dont have to have a college degree to be a good person or to feel good about yourself. If he cares about you he will care about you with or without the piece of paper. His family will get over it as long as you prove that you are worthy of being with their son/grandson.
2006-10-19 23:41:29 · answer #4 · answered by jenmimo7 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have nothing to be paranoid about - enjoy the relationship while you can. 4 months is together is long enough to know (generally) where you stand with him. You know that he is interested in you, and enjoys spending time with you, and you feel the same about him - so put this thought out of your mind and enjoy it. When, and if, this relationship gets even more serious, then make sure you talk to him about this. His response will tell you whether he loves you, or 'what you might become'. Then, and only then, do you have to worry about this any further.
2006-10-19 23:23:39 · answer #5 · answered by Memphis qt 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
First of all why does he feel that he needs to throw it in your face all the time? Who cares what his granny thinks does she have a higher ed.? I don't think it matters. What does matter is how he feels about the you from the inside and not the out. If he thinks he's better then you then you have a problem and HE'S not good enough for you. Some guy's are like this. My bf is a lineman and I'm a receptionist. Once he threw it in my face that he would never be in my situation(not having a job) because he is set in his career. That made me feel bad and I noticed he respects me more when I am working then when I'm not. Good for you that your in college . Don't worry what he thinks worry about yourself and know that you ARE gonna succeed in life so who cares about his ex and his granny.
2006-10-19 23:37:57 · answer #6 · answered by teena 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A) You have low self esteem.
B) Who gives a crap about a masters
C) Is he getting a doctorate?
D) A piece of paper doesn't amount to much when you think about it.
E) As long as you aren't an idiot who cares.
F) jeez. His grandmother? She'll be long gone before you, PhD or no.
G) If he really cares that much then he really doesn't care about you.
H) Do you make more than him?
I) That's how you should measure the relationship.
J) If you look good, then you can get all the MD's, PhD's you want.
Peace
2006-10-19 23:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by cruddypantz 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep an eye on this because sometimes people do like educations and earnings to be equal within a relationship.
2006-10-19 23:30:50 · answer #8 · answered by luvngran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in college trying to get your education. That makes you a winner, not a failure. Don't let his comments about his former partner dampen the ardor of your relationship. He's with you. You are not dating his grandmother, so what she thinks shouldn't really matter. If his comments, however, bother you that badly then tell him...nicely...you would appreciate him not making the comparison, anymore. Sweetie, relax. Don't let your fear of the future overshadow the sweetness and magic of your present.
2006-10-19 23:24:54 · answer #9 · answered by Nani 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't matter if he has his masters and you don't have a degree yet. What matters is that you are a good and decent human being. Having a college degree does not make somebody better than somebody that does not. When I met my husband he had a PhD and I had nothing. I did get my degree, though ... and so will you!
2006-10-19 23:23:58 · answer #10 · answered by Vianka 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw him ( not literally) and move on. I have a friend in a similar situation. The guy says he loves her but is constantly saying little disparaging things about her education level. She is always complaining to me about it. I told her to move on she finds excuses for the guy and that he really loves her and just want her to be better. I stopped counseling her about it and just agree with her. If you like feeling inferior (because he will never stop bringing it up) go ahead and stay with him. If you want to compete with him go ahead stay with him and keep trying to meet his academic standards. If you want to be a woman of means, a strong educated woman for your own personal betterment, leave this mentally abusive relationship and continue your college education. Good Luck and God Bless.
2006-10-19 23:27:39 · answer #11 · answered by Agnon L 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋