We've plan to get marry next month. We've already bought the rings, but he sold it to paid his motorcycle. But he promise me to buy me another one this month. For me it's not only about the rings, it's about feelings!!!
2006-10-19 16:01:55 · 44 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
NO! that is horrible tell him to go marry his motorcycle!
2006-10-19 16:04:11 · answer #1 · answered by julie m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's amazing to me to find another female that is going through a somewhat similair situation. Out of curiousity, I took your question to my boyfriend of six years. He, alarmingly, sided with your guy in saying that a ring's a ring and that if he had to pay off the motorcycle, then he did what he had to. I, of course find this appalling. Your question prompted me to ask him about what our wedding ceremony should be like. I've always wanted a very small, possibly shotgun or destination wedding with as few people as possible. He wants the polar opposite. When I asked him if we could discuss compromises, he stated that it was "non-negotiable". Men that put material things like motorcycles and tuxedo rentals above the women that they should love and honor aren't worth the heartache that they cause. I hope that whatever decision you make regarding your fiance makes you happy in the end. Please know though, that if you're taking second place to a two-wheeled vehicle now, the outlook "until death do you part" may not be all you had hoped for. Best of luck. - L
2006-10-22 16:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by weeone03818 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the issue is priorities here
if he would do that, what's to say that he'll not gamble or buy something else with money meant for rent?
he just doesn't sound like he's got his head screwed on straight. it's such an immatuee thing to do. for me, the marriage would definitely be off for the next few months & then i'd take the time to see how he handles things like money
or how he prioritises his day to day things; is it pleasure first?
is he a tidy or messy person? telling someone to wash the bath or put the toilet seat up, or hoover, or wash his plates every day for all the years of the foreseeable future can be quite difficult.
love is fine, it doesn't need perfection. normal, everyday decisions however, need stability & maturity & they must have room/prospects for improvement if in 5 years time you can only see yourself where you guys are now, i'd rethink both subtle and less subtle things about the future.
my attitude to a friend's partner who did that to them would be that he needs a mother, or at least a good financial planner to teach him, not a wife.
2006-10-19 16:58:48 · answer #3 · answered by Can I Be Your Pet? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe you want to break it off with this man, but that you are feeling guilty and need reasurance that you are doing the right thing. I had similar feelings when I was getting ready to leave my first husband. I needed to hear from other people that I was about to do the right thing. I did leave my first husband and I am so glad that I did. Do not let your guilt lead you into such a monumentally bad decision as to marry this creep. I sense you are a good person and that this guy does not deserve you. Walk away from this situation and you will look back and KNOW you made the right decision by leaving him. Leave him now. He'll get over it.
2006-10-19 16:14:26 · answer #4 · answered by Vianka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he sold your ring to either pay off or buy his motorcyle then honey, I don't care how much you have put into this wedding, or how much it cost get the hell out NOW!! If my husband would have done that I woudlnt' have though twice. I had trouble with my husband's old boss....He wanted to take him to New Orleans for his bachlor party and had told me point blank "he wont be at no F$$$$ rehursal dinner" I was so upset and my husband not wanting too make him mad never said anything, so I called my mom for advice and help she got on the phone with him and told them BOTH he would be at the dinner like it or not, or there would be NO wedding. After that I learned to put my foot down about things, don't let him do that get out while you can, while it wont cost you a lawyer.
2006-10-19 16:23:20 · answer #5 · answered by msoutherngirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear,
U hv to know yr self that how long hv u been with him.Both of U should sit down and talk over again b4 the next move. I agree to what in yr mind of the rings.For exp: my girl present me this ring as our first met bhday and left me 6yrs ago without telling me what was wrong but the rings that she put on my finger has never leave my hand that is what i call (love). Marry is once in yr life time, so consider it.
2006-10-19 16:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Would you actually marry man who sold your wedding ring to pay for a motorcycle? This is a sign of things to come, if he's doing this before the wedding, what's it going to be like after the wedding? Maybe he'll sell one of your kids.
2006-10-19 16:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that is ridiculos and if i were u i would feel really betrayed and hurt...........i would not be so quick to leave but I think u need to really address what is going on becuz if would do something like this I am sure this is not the first time and he probably puts himself or his feelings before u all the time. I would address it and really talk to him about it and if he does nt understand or does try to change things for the pure sake of not wanting to hurt u then i would consider if this marriage was the right move. I am also engaged and i make it a point to tackle all issues that may cause us to "grow apart" or not be as close later.......becuz i dont want to be unhappy spendin my life with anyone. But everytime my fiancees sees that i am hurt rather he understands why or not........he makes compromises becuz he doesnt want me to be hurt.
2006-10-19 16:47:40 · answer #8 · answered by exceptionallyexceptional 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, he thought more of his motorcycle then your ring. Run for your life, do not even think of marrying him. Material things will always be more important to him then you. He just proved that and your not even married...after marriage it will only get worst. Your lucky, you found out before you married the guy.
2006-10-19 16:09:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a very lucky woman because you have had such a powerful warning IN ADVANCE. Run away from this jerk! If you marry him there is nothing but heartbreak for you down the road- on or off that motorcycle.
2006-10-19 16:25:01 · answer #10 · answered by Hermit 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Look, do you love him? Are you sure you want someone like this? He thought of himself more than he thought of you, your life together, and what those rings symbolize-- love, commitment. Are you willing to get over this? You need to think real hard if this is what you want. Spend some time apart, if you realize you need to be with him, then I guess this is love. If you realize, I'm ok without him, then you know it wasn't real love. I say slash his motorcycle tires to get back at him and look completely innocent and say Ahhh honey, what happened? Who would do such a thing? LOL. Hey women get even in evil ways!! Good luck with what ever you decide
2006-10-19 16:16:12 · answer #11 · answered by Amy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋