I have a boyfriend. We've been together for almost 4 years. We have plan to get marry in the end of this year, but I don't think we're ready because we're still young (he's 20 and I'm 19) and he is jobless. So what should I do?
2006-10-19 15:55:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
lol no...
first both of you guys should go to college and get a good paying job to support your family or else you'll end up trailer trash.
2006-10-19 15:57:38 · answer #1 · answered by rusty s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you have been together so long doesn't mean you have to get married. People usually get married when they are ready, you both still have college to finish, and if your not in school you should def... save up!!! First of all, where would you live if you can't afford a home, since he doesn't have a job. Try to do it right, you seem like a smart girl so you know what to do. Follow your intuition, its always right. There is no rush to get married, take your time and maybe as a couple you both can save up to get married. It could be goal for the both of you, when you have saved whatever the amount is, it may show just how ready you both are to be married.
2006-10-19 22:59:21 · answer #2 · answered by totallylovableandinlove 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was 19 when I met my future husband and he was 21. We were both in college and figuring out our lives, together and separately. We were 'kids' although we felt like responsible adults when we got together, I knew he was the one I was going to marry after being with him for only 2 months. We waited and grew as adults together. We got married when I was 28 and he was 30. We have been married for almost 7 years and have a 2 year old son. So I say wait because its worth it!
2006-10-19 23:15:29 · answer #3 · answered by hollyberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself, what could be gained or lost , by waiting?
Of course if theres even a question of age, or finances, etc.... what is the hurry? Marriage is a LIFETIME commitment. Why start out with worries and "only ifs" when you have all the time in the world? Only good could come from waiting. more time to get your finances in order, figure out where you want to live etc. decide AHEAD of time if and when you want to have kids, and when you do, will you stay home with them, and work part-time? There is so much to it, that to rush in for no good reason is not wise. If you are a biblical Christian, and are waiting to have sexual relations , then perhaps that would be a catilyst for rushing, but not that many in that category now. But please take it from a girl who got married when she was 17, there is no hurry. I am still married to the same man after 24 years, and its all worked out, but its been sometimes a quite rocky road, and it will be for most people, but what is the hurry? take your time, establish yourselves, figure out all the important details and go from there. Best wishes.
2006-10-19 23:03:16 · answer #4 · answered by Coco 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are 19 and he's jobless...Here is the reason not to get married, and it's a wise idea not to get married just yet. Both you and him have to get established in the working world then you can plan a wedding. If you get married now you will start your marriage off in poverty.
2006-10-19 23:06:33 · answer #5 · answered by LVieau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's the rush? since both of you are still young and he's jobless i wouldn't right now. i would wait. because when the time is right you will know and so will he.
my husband i dated for eight years before we got married. i was definitely ready to get married before he was but i did not push the issue of getting married. i waited until he proposed to me because this told me that he was ready to make that commitment to me. we both finished school before we tied the knot. we both have good jobs and we have just bought a house.
it's not something we rushed into. if it's true love you definitely can wait because love has no limit.
2006-10-19 23:35:34 · answer #6 · answered by Znai 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look your still young and your together anyway... whether you are married or not your together. Do you want to get married and end up living with your parents... you need to give it a couple more years... this may not be what you want to hear but... look at this from an outsiders point of view... hope this helps
2006-10-19 23:04:13 · answer #7 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH PLEASE WAIT.
anything that is stressful will be ten times worse when you get married. You will get angry and bitter if he doesn't work and you have to work. And gosh...marriage takes commitment and so much work. And when you are that age you will be changing sooooooooo much. The two of you need to figure out who you are. You need to get an education and make a living. You need to become who you need to be. or you will grow to hate each other.
Make plans for your life. Save some money. Make sure you can afford to live. Check out how much rent is and cars and food and health insurance etc. Then if you have kids....diapers, formula.....
Can you afford to be starting a life together now????????
Set some realistic goals
2006-10-19 23:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I got married young like that and it was really hard. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Worst mistake of my life. Even if the love lasts, you're asking for trouble.
It's not going to cost you anything to wait. But it could cost you everything not to.
2006-10-19 23:09:37 · answer #9 · answered by slippped 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, don't get married.
If he can't support himself how is he going to help you. Nothing will get you madder over time (except infidelity) then someone sitting on their rump all day while you are supporting the whole household. He should have a decent job for at least a year before I would marry him. You defiantly are to young. Break it off while you can.
2006-10-19 23:02:10 · answer #10 · answered by Parrot Bay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are if you don't think you're ready...you're not. I'm not a marriage counselor, but I am a wedding planner and, from my experience, if you rush yourselves into marriage, it isn't going to last as long as you want it to. If you think that you're going to get married in the future, then what is the harm in waiting??
2006-10-20 10:40:47 · answer #11 · answered by VAWeddingSpecialist 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋