My son sleep's with me and my boyfriend what should i do i cannot break the habit it is to hard?

Question

I love cuddeling with him but on the weekend's my boyfriend come's home from work out of town, He will soon be home for good. I really dont think it is good to have him in the bed with us. What should i do? I have tried a few time's to break him but i can never get him to stop crying and fighting me

Answer 1

OK... He'll have to cry it out, or you get used to sharing a bed for three

Answer 2

Well, first off, how old is he? If he's over 3, you can easily explain to him that he's a big boy and needs to sleep in his big boy bed. If he gets out during the night, calmly get up and put him back in. Get a nighttime ritual down, reading, singing, whatever, to make going in his bed more fun. If he's younger, then he'll just have to cry it out, I know it's hard, believe, I had the EXACT same problem. My boyfriend lives 8 hours away from me and he drives up and visits every weekend. My daughter is now 4 and she sleeps all night in her bed. I hope this helps at least a little. Keep in mind that you can still cuddle tons during the day!

Answer 3

You need to break him and fast. Read him a story, play soft music, get him a special night light and work on it every night. Never go back. You are going to lose some sleep at 1st but it will be so worth it in the end. Just keep bringing him into his own bed, start him in his own bed. Bribe him if you have to with a special breakfast or stuffed animal. Good luck.

Answer 4

You do not say what the child's age is but letting a child of any age is not good and in some cases can be dangerous.
You are not helping this child to learn to be independent by continuing to let him sleep with you. . .they can't stay a baby forever,they need to learn coping skills and how to live life on life's terms at a level equivilent with their age.
You need to really address this issue BEFORE boyfriend comes to stay permantly as his moving in will be one adjustment for all persons in the house and then to try and break your son from sleeping in your bed at the same time can really make your son feel like he is being booted out for the boyfriend. . a jealousy issue which can lead to an insecurity issue.
Designate a room that will be JUST his. Go shopping for those little things that will personalize HIS room.(This works really well if you are moving into a new house.)
Toys,books,pillows,blankets and even a night light.
Start a bedtime ritual of reading him his favorite book that he will look forward to each night before he goes to bed in HIS bed.
Start a sticker chart. For each night he sleeps in his own room he gets a sticker (let him put the sticker on the chart) and when he accumulates a certain amount of stickers,he gets a reward.(Keep the number of required stickers small,say for each 5 stickers he gets then he gets his prize.)
Let him know that if he wakes up in the middle of the night and crawls into your bed he will lose a sticker.
ALWAYS take him back to his room if he gets up in the middle of the night and tries to get back into your bed. . No matter how sleepy you are. . .don't give in.
Make him his favorite breakfast and or fix him a surprise breakfast on those mornings that he stays in his bed ALL night along with him putting his sticker on his chart.
Get with other family members and ask for their help. Ask them to help brag big time for his being a big boy.
Maybe at the end of a month of sleeping in his own room you can throw him a party with family members to celebrate your's and his accomplishment. . . maybe a night of pizza and games.

Watch a few episodes of Nanny 911 on TV as she has some really good ways to handle not only this issue but several other child rearing issues.

Good Luck

Answer 5

During the week you need to put him back into his bed repeatedly, over and over, again and again, 1000 times if necessary. Don't do it while boyfriend is there, he'll come to resent the boyfriend.

Yes, it is hard. Yes, he will cry. Yes he will fight. Yes, your heart will be broken over it and you will doubt yourself. Do it anyway because you know it is the right thing to do. The reason the experts say do not let children sleep with you is because when it comes time for them to have their own place to sleep, it is very difficult .... not on the kid, but on the parent.

Answer 6

Start with your regular bedtime routine ... bath, pj's, brush your teeth, etc. Put him to bed in his bed in his room, and read him a story. When you are done with the story tell him good night, walk out, and close the door. He will cry, do not give in. Let him cry for about 10 minutes, go back in, then reassure him that you still love him but he's a big boy now and needs to sleep in his big boy bed. Tell him good night, walk out, and close the door. Let him cry for about 15 mintues, go back in, then reassure, and repeat until he goes to sleep. If he wakes up in the middle of the night and comes to your room, gently pick him up and put him back in his own bed. You will have to do this several nights in a row before he realizes that you mean business. Good luck!

If he expresses some kind of fear, deal with it. If he says, "I'm afraid of the dark." -- get a night light or a small table lamp or a flash light. If he says, "I'm scared of the monsters." -- get a cheap can of air freshner spray, have him make a constrution paper label for the can with a picture of his monster on it, tape the "label" to the can. Just before bedtime as part of your good night routine -- spray the monster in the closet, spray the monster under the bed, spray the monster in the corner -- where ever he says there's a monster, you spray. When you've sprayed all the places, tell him "Oh boy, am I ever glad you helped me get rid of all those monsters!" Repeat it every night until he forgets to ask for the monster spray. :)

Answer 7

It depends on the age. When my son was real young I would lay in his room with him until he feel asleep and then would go back to my bed. I would make sure to get up before him to make sure when he woke up he would see me in there like I slept in there all night. Then after a few weeks of doing that I told him he has been sleeping in there all by himself and made him feel like the big boy!

Answer 8

I was going through the same thing. What I do, I put my son in his room and stay on his bed until he falls asleep and then I'll go to my room. Eventually, he ends up in my room and I take him back to his room. You need to be consistent, trust me I barely slepted at night but I was determined to do this until the end. It lasted for almost a month and now he stays in his own room. THANK GOD good luck

Answer 9

Know how you feel! What we did was let him fall asleep in our bed and move him then. That way he wakes up in his own bed and over time realizes that's where he is supposed to go to sleep as well. I'll admit it's not an overnight process but it worked for me!

Answer 10

My son, used to sleep between my hubby and self, and now sleeps in his own bed. All, I did was started with my self being determined, and got him on a daily schedule. Bath, story time,warm milk, brush teeth, potty,and good night with hugs and kisses. and tucked him bed.
It was hard at first, he wanted me to sleep next to him, in his own room, but I got one of the fold up childrens couch, which opens up like a day bed, and laid down next to him for few minutes till he fell asleep, it was a lot of work, but it worked. Just have to be patient.As soon as he fell asleep, I carried him up to his bed, and shut the door with the dim light on.
It took me a while,though, to get him on his own bed, and actually it worked when, I told him that mama will sleep down here, and you sleep up there. And it worked then too, now I have, no worries of him, and I have assured him, that mama is going to wait here ,till you fall asleep. Now, he is sleeping in his own bed, and I, praise him a lot and tell him that he, is such a big boy.All I still have to do is to sit on the rocking chair and watch him fall asleep.
Believe me it broke my heart to do that, because, it's your child, and they need to be given all the love, and caring,when they are little, they grow up so fast. And we will never get this opportunity to hold them like a baby, or a child.
Hope this will help you. Good Luck.

Answer 11

I know it sounds horrible but you might have to let him cry. Also try using it as a privlage. Tell him big boys sleep in there own bed. We got my son a race car bed he never asked to sleep in my bed again. Also try laying in his bed with him to get him to sleep,just in the begining. If nothing eles works you have to try tough love and let him cry. Also make sure nothing is scaring him in his room.