Ok, these are the facts
we've been together for three years now
he has two children by different women none of which are mine. (although I'm possibly pregnant)
We've recently moved to another state away from both children and mothers.
He claims to want to spend the rest of his life with me but doesn't want marriage and has no feelings towards either of his children's mom whatsoever .
HOWEVER the letter describes him as having no one in his life and doesnt and expresses love for her but states that he doesn't want anyone in his life right now so they will not be together. Also states that he cant "commit to anyone" because of her.
He is currently on child support for only one of his children and the child who is not on any support is the mother he wrote the letter to.
I would appreciate womens opinions should I confront him beings though he purposely hid the letter.
I would appreciate mens comments on maybe an interpretation of what exactly is going through his mind.
2006-10-19 14:53:29 · 20 answers · asked by guestuser 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
The letter was written exactly 2 weeks ago and we live together in a different state where neither of us has any family
2006-10-19 15:03:20 · update #1
ok but why would he move to a totally different state with me where he knows absolutely no one when he had a few opportunities to be with her and be happy together. I have honestly told him if that's what he wants to go right ahead. I've almost encouraged him to be with her but he won't leave. we now live together in my house of course and i believe both of the prior relationships were ended by the women and not him.
2006-10-19 15:20:02 · update #2
1)he wrote her the letter so he don't have to pay child support.2)he doesn't want to commit to anyone at all.3) how old is the letter?
2006-10-19 14:58:13 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm assuming this was wrote when you were together??? Okay... he says he has no one in his life, says he loves her and there is no chance of them ever being together, along with it being her fault he feels this way... and you are possibly pregnant by this guy. Did he marry either of these women??? If not... and doesn't want to marry you, I'm think you might be "babys momma #3". Do you know who dumped who in those other relationships... if he was the dumper... I think you are in trouble. I would confront him so fast he would know what hit him, he sounds like a player. He may be keeping this other woman thinking he may consider her in the future just cause he can.
Also, what kind of father is he to the other children??? That's a clue to how it will be with the child you might be having going to go through. Just think onced he has moved on to the next woman, you'll end upwith a child that does have a father who give a sh*t... Good Luck!!!!
2006-10-19 22:15:10 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not waste the time confronting him. That will only cause stress, fighting and unhappiness. Rather, I would pack up my things and move out. I would find a DECENT man who loves ONLY you and treats you like that woman you are. Don't get messed up in relationships where you are involved with third parties. Men like him will not change. He already has kids from several relationships, and is not even supporting one of the children--which tells you what kind of father he will be to your child, should you have one.
He is not committed to you, therefore when you do become pregnant he will probably leave just like he did with the rest. He tells one woman he loves her, and then another, but then says he does not want to commit. Does that sound reasonable to you? I want you to ask yourself the hard questions. Does it sound logical? Is your relationship really going in a positive direction? Do you want to have that baggage for the rest of your life? If you have a baby with him do you want to raise it alone, while working full time and not being able to spend time with your child, fighting custody and childcare battles?
It happens. It really does happen. Aim for the BEST possible situation and you will get ordinary, maybe more. Aim low and you will get little or nothing. That's generally true in this world. Love yourself. Give yourself what you deserve and don't waste your life with heartache and problems that aren't your own! Fight your own battles! Be strong.
2006-10-19 22:00:44 · answer #3 · answered by ikikochan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him with the letter in hand, and then let him know that he needs to make a choice either you or her. This guy is obviously trying to have his cake and eat it too. If he doesnt want a commitment then you either have to accept the relationship as it is or get out of it either way you are going to be better off without a man who is going to sneak around and write letters to the ex.
2006-10-19 21:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by snoop_dougie_doug04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go check if your pregnant,think about it he's going to do the same thing to you ,how he did it to the last two women and got them pregnant if he wrote that it means he wants to move on but with a different person,just dump him and when you do it tell him that you found the letter an throw in his face and leave you deserve better then that .hope this helps
2006-10-19 22:06:13 · answer #5 · answered by `~*sheila *~` 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him about the letter. I don't he will ever commit to you because of the letter he wrote to his ex. Find a new man who will marry you.
2006-10-19 21:57:26 · answer #6 · answered by jazzy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why women choose to stay with guys like this! first things first: get that pregnancy test ASAP. either way I don't think being with a guy who can't committ to you is what you want for the rest of your life. PEACE.
Vin
2006-10-19 21:55:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as though he's confused. however, by his action of hiding the note from you, he knows that it is not ethical for him to writting to her. i would approach him, after all you might be carrying his baby . and this is no laughing matter. he needs to step up to the plate and be responsible. even if he doesn't want to get married. he needs to be told that he has a human being in the making that he caused and grow up .
2006-10-19 22:00:15 · answer #8 · answered by zenasrager 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He may be just taking a swipe at his ex, claiming that she has messed him up to the point where he can't have another relationship.
I can't say for sure he will hurt you, but I would advise you to be very careful here.
2006-10-19 21:57:27 · answer #9 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You in a toxic relationship, run for your life. This person will bring you nothing but misery. Be smart and recognize a loser.
2006-10-19 21:56:36 · answer #10 · answered by mimi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋