how do you get your son to toughen up?

Question

well he is only 5 years old but he is always whining and crying about every little thing all he likes to do is watch t.v and if I take the tv away he crys some more. while his sister is like the tom boy running and jumping every where hardly ever crying when she falls.

Answer 1

Maybe it's just part of his personality to be a little more sensitive. If so, don't try to change it.
Society tells us that boys and men should be tough, so we expect our children to live up to this. Being tough is something that we instill in our children, not something that juat automatically comes along with being male.

As far as him crying when you take something away, the best thing to do is to tell him straight-up that tv time (or whatever else) is over, and don't respond to his crying. (like don't say "stop your crying, knock off the tears, anything like that)

Answer 2

Children use whining because it works!! I bet if he speaks to you you'll only give half your attention, you're busy, and then he whines and because it irritates you, he gets all of mom's attention. Stop rewarding the whining. Remind him to use his 5 year old voice. Then praise and respond in a positive way.

Use some of the suggestions given regarding sports etc.. then I bet after the whining diminishes you'll begin to like your son more and he won't seem a sissy compared to his sister. One of the problems with this situation is that your daughter may see you favor her and behind your back she's picking on your son. He's a sensitive child trapped with a bully of a sister and a mom who thinks he doesn't measure up to her image of what he should be. He sounds pretty down-hearted. By all means, get some healthy, loving adults in this boy's life and consider a little couseling for yourself to find out why you feel the way you do about your son.

Answer 3

Turn off the tv and limit his watching to a certain time period of the day. make him play outside when the weather permits and give him chores to do. Even a 5 year old can help set a table or pick up after himself. When he cries or throws a tantrum, simply put him in bed and tell him no one wants to listen to it. eventually hell get tired of throwing tantrums if he isnt going to have an audience or get his way. Always be firm and dont waiver when it comes to your rules. If he knows there are no loopholes in your decisions he will learn to behave. As far as making him tougher, hes 5 and will learn from kids he plays with to toughen up or be ridiculed for being a baby.

Answer 4

I'm assuming the daughter is older... my son was the baby of the family and he was very quite and lacked the toughness I saw in other boys his age. I started him in t-ball which helped some... started regular play dates with a group of boys his age. He also had a tendency to cry easily, even when I would just mildly scold him for something he would start to cry. I can remember saying to him"don't start crying". I regret that part now, I was really hard on him at times. He was just a tender little boy. There were times I was even embarrassed when he would play with others and if he fell it was a big ordeal of crying and whining, when others would just get up and go on. I have this need to tell you this to give you hope. As he got older he grew more confident. So... to get to my point, don't worry to much and don't be to hard on him. Just get him off that couch and into something more physical whether he likes it or not... do it gradually... I'm assure you he will out grow it... My son is 29yo and is the manlyest of all men I have ever met and is very successful... Hope this helped!!!

Answer 5

Congrats, you have noticed that children are born with different temperments. You can really screw a kid up good by trying to strongarm him out of the temperment he was born with. For one thing, he will realize on some level that you just plain dislike him...it sure comes through in the question. You can however build confidence in a timid, sensitive child with encouragement. One great way you can build confidence in a 5 year old is by enrolling him in karate: there are many martial arts schools that take 5 year olds and it really helps with this kind of kid. Another way is to focus on his interests and talents, which might not be what you want them to be...Maybe music, art, chess, or something. Then get him involved in as many things related to this as possible, so he gets reinforcement and praise. And do limit his TV time even if he cries about it...if he is getting praise and support for positive stuff, and no reward ever for whining or crying, he should grow out of it.

Answer 6

Try turning off the TV and doing something with him. Colour with him, go throw a football or play catch go for a bike ride. TV is a built in babysitter for us parents myself included. I try to spend at least 30 minutes a day playing with the kids. It is hard finding the time because we have 6 kids and 2 are babies but I do it anyway. It may take a few weeks but the more you do with him the less he will be stuck in front of TV and eventually he will toughen up. I enjoy playing basketball with the boys and in winter i build a couple of snow forts and we have snowball fights.

Answer 7

If your child cries when s/he falls down, why would you do anything other than comfort him/her? Telling your son to 'suck it up' teaches him that it's not OK to show his emotions.

This is why we have to deal with men who wouldn't know an emotion if it smacked them in the face.

Instead of trying to make your son behave according to a gender stereotype, I think you should focus more on what he does like to do. What interests him? Encourage him to explore any and all things he shows an interest in. Your praise and encouragement will produce far more positive behavior than the opposite.

And the crying and whining when you take something away? That's a discipline issue, not a gender trait.

Answer 8

you should tell him to toughen up, like when he cries just say stop cry and toughen up. That's what my mom always told me and I don't cry that much now, take it could or bad but either way I stop crying. Also he probably dose a lot of it b/c your probably run over to him so maybe you should just check him out if he gets her and then try to show that the unnecessary crying doesn't bother you

Answer 9

Don't worry about it and don't give in to him when he cries. He'll be fine. My son was sensitive when he was little too. Don't worry, he's a big macho guy now with his own son. Don't ever make him feel bad for being sensitive. People are different. I know when my son was older he was always fighting because he was trying to prove he was tough. It was a rough time but we got through it. So will you.

Answer 10

Um, considering that he's NINE, I think he's fine. Someimes kids are sensitive - they adjust eventually. You really think if you don't do something drastic NOW then he's going to be a wuss forever? You really think thatm if nothing else, highschool won't beat it out of him? All doing something drastic now would accomplish is probably making him resent you, even if only secretly.