how do i build up self confidence/esteem and convince myself that i'm just as good as the people around me?

Answer 1

Well. I just finished answering a question and found you had responded 48 minutes before me with a very similar answer! (Monkeys). Sorry, but we seem to think alike in some ways. Anyway as an old man who has failed many more times than suceeded, let me tell you that a lot of the answers are right. First it is going to come from within. Second, it is going to take time. Third, it gets easier with age. OK
I don't know if you're a saint or a devil, a martyr or a sociopath so I can't say you're as good as evrybody else. But read the newspapers. There are so many people out ther who don't care about who they are and others who would rather suffer than try to improve. So you're already better than lots of others. No to mention all the people you've helped on this forum. So. In a nut shell: accentuate the possitive and downplay the negative. Focusing on a negative only tends to make it seem worse and you feel worse. Fix what needs fixing and relish the victories and accomplishments. Treat yourself well. You must risk failing to succeed. A lot of the responses (I skimmed 'em) talk about practice. Yup. First thing is that you got to accept yourself.
You are all you have, so make it a whole lot. Know that you can only control one thing and thats your response to everything else. It takes work and practice. There's books out there that have helped me. Accept yourself. Its easier when you do the things you would like to do (I'm hoping here they are good things). Push your envelope. If you are, for instance, shy in public setings, then find some way to do something in public that makes you more comfortable while you learn to enjoy what life has to offer. The key point is that there are so many different ways to measure people that everyone is unique. Comparing yourself to others is like comparig apples to oranges. We are all different. But. Improving yourself - yep, thats the ticket. you should try to be the best you you can be. Sometimes you'll fail, but the more you try the more the you you're trying to be will be.
ANd thats something. By the way ther are the thoughtless and arrogant and then there ar the people who are NOT sure they are as good as everybody else. I can't control if there is a better cook out there, a better lover, a better father, a better boss, a better employee but I can be the best me I can be. It does make me sad when I fail to accomplish something that seems so effortless to others, but two things: if it is so effortless to them is it so much of an accomplishment? and two. just because it seems effortless doesn't mean they aren't crying and struggling on the inside, just like the rest of us. Peace and joy.

Answer 2

Can you wear make up? Well this is what I would do, talk to each person one on one in a confidential way, let them know that you are tired of being treated different, let them know you are just like them, you have feelings and you aren't going to take being hurt. Tell them that you are proud of your grades and that they are going to be the ones being laughed at in the end when you see them working at a local McDonald's for the rest of their life just because they think being cool now is the way to be. Don't misunderstand me though. You can be cool and still make good grades. Start dressing a little more stylish, taking more time on yourself in the morning with your hair. If you have a straightening iron, that is the best invention. divide your hair into sections and straighten it. At nights paint your nails and give your self a pedicure, build your confidence up and prepare yourself for the next day. Put a little more attitude in your walk and if someone says something, just act like you don't care, that is the number one thing is to not let these people know that it bothers you, or it will go on forever. I am serious, prepare yourself with the clothes, hair style, jewelry and all the necessities the night before. And don't take crap off nobody, if they get smart, say what is on your mind at the time, don't let them run over you, and if they laugh at you, be a smart *** and make a smart *** snicker back and then roll your eyes and say yeah real funny and then walk away. It takes little steps, but I believe you will conquer in the end. Good Luck!

Answer 3

You need to look at why you don't have it.

There must be a reason.

Either you dislike something about yourself, or someone else does, or someone else has expressed that dislike to you.

Maybe your parents beat you... that would be unfortunate... but all of these things could cause you not to like yourself.

You need to figure out why, because then once you think about it you can realize, that someone is an idiot, or hey, everybody has something physical about them they hate, or my parents are assholes and I'm leaving when I'm 18.

You have to identify the external problem so you can then start to fix the internal one.

And seriously, your just as kind and nice and talented and wonderful as everyone else.

Start taking up hobbies/things where you make something.

You need to progress yourself and create so that you can realize all your good at.

Learn to play the piano, get a pet dog, go for walks and just enjoy nature, take up knitting, paint a picture, draw something, make a song, make a movie..

Learn something you've always wanted to learn but never have.

You also need to learn to do things on your own so you can learn more about yourself and learn to conciously develop your own identity.


Once you do all this, you'll realize how great you are.

And stop putting people on a pedestal... no one is any better.

Once you start talking to a majority of people, you'll probably realize that majority of people are selfish and shallow and insecure.

And realistically, your light years ahead of the rest of them!

And be outgoing... be crazy be spontaneous...

Try to make people laugh...

When you make people laugh you realize you can be funny and smart and that is great for your self esteem.

Answer 4

What always helps me is knowing that other people are just as worried as I am about being as good as the people around them. Even those people who seem to exude self-confidence have some self-doubt. Lots of people out there are just as shy and nervous around people as I am - knowing that helps me to feel better. If other people can handle it, then so can I.

Answer 5

This is not a quick fix thing.I think it is the way we were brought up.Do you notice how some people act so confident and outgoing, it doesnt matter what they look like, its whats inside of us.Please dont waste another minute thinking about this,as many years I wasted thinking about it,hold your head up,and live your life to the fullest as I am doing now. Good Luck

Answer 6

do useful and beneficial things without being asked, anonymously. share whatever is most difficult for you to share. consider sacrificing your fears... in other words, give them up as if they were an indulgence or a luxury. by doing these things you're earning your way. when you are doing these things and taking on the unfinished business in your life, self-esteem will be unquestioned, it will simply be.

Answer 7

It woz only a couple of weeks back that i started really observing people around me only to realise that everybody is unique in there own way and nobody is better than anybody else. I keep that in mind when im out. It helps me. Try it :-)

Answer 8

Read a lot of self improvement books from authors such as Jim Rohn, Dennis Waitley. You need to have knowledge and believe in yourself. You can not be what you don't have.

Answer 9

Find something that you can do better than everyone else and do that. Or, alternatively, find someone who's worse off than you and think about them (but don't rub it in their face or anything--that would be mean). It also helps to surround yourself with people who support you. You are just as good as everyone else. I believe in you, for what that's worth.

Answer 10

I don't think people can convince you of something like this. You have to look inside yourself and see why you are good. What traits you have that others do not. You have to believe in yourself. Good Luck ! :)