and read his emails. Ik bad idea... but things had been weird between us lately.
So as I'm looking I see that he sends this girl that's quite a bit younger than him a messages saying how he loves her, wants to dance at a club a certain song w/ her, refers to her using the nickname he calls ME, how he wants her to wait for and how he's sorry he's been so busy. Then about 5 mins after he sends this message... he calls me and tells me how much he loves me and uses the special nickname.
How do I confront him w/o him getting really mad? (I guess if you're gonna snoop you shouldn't be upset w/ what you find)
What should I do?
I see her when I'm w/ him and she always stares at me... and I mean really really STARES.
I know he hasn't actually done anything w/ her... but we've been together almost 3 yrs and this is driving me crazy.
HELP!
2006-10-19 13:19:27 · 21 answers · asked by tasha_c_03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You're not a bad girlfriend, he's a bad boyfriend! Confront him. He'll get defensive, but hold your ground. And then...call him a few choice words, say, "See ya!", and walk away. Why would you even want to stay with him knowing he's pulling crap like that behind your back? Sucker for abuse?!? Come on! Don't let the man walk all over you...do something about it!
2006-10-19 13:23:50 · answer #1 · answered by FN72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was wrong to read his email but you obviously had the feeling something was going on. I've found that in most cases if a woman gets the feeling her man is cheating he probably is. As far as him getting mad at this point it doesn't matter...if you want answers and resolution you have to bring it up so he's going to know you read the email anyway. He's telling this girl he loves her and calls her by a pet name that's supposed to be for you. If he hasn't done anything with her yet he's on his way so confront him now before it goes any further.
2006-10-19 13:26:12 · answer #2 · answered by Renee22358 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's tough and I'm so sorry. Men can be horrid,can't they? It looks like you have a couple of options. 1) Don't let on you were snooping. Accidentally come across it. 2) Dump the creep- he's probably not good enough for you anyway. 3)Tell him about a friend who just found out her boyfiend was writing to some girl, and how devastated she is, and how awful you think that is, and if things weren't going well between you two,you like to think he'd have the decency to end one relationship before starting another.
4)Maybe when she's staring at you ,she's not really staring-she's crosseyed!
Good luck sweetie!
2006-10-19 13:32:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to confront him. What's worst, you snoop and he cheats. He doesn't have a leg to stand on. If you hadn't done what you did he still be playing you for a fool. So stand up and tell him what you think. What's the worst that can happen, you get out of a cheating relationship before he gets a chance to hurt you any more.
2006-10-19 13:34:13 · answer #4 · answered by Fangs_4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay girl, I'm going through a similar situation but I also checked out his stuff on the computer and it's my husband that is talking to his best friends wife!! He calls her MY nickname too. So I totally understand where you are coming from, I talked to my husband and he said that he would cut his talking and emailing off, but i found out today they are still talking and he actually asked her to dinner!! And then called her my name he calls me!! i have no idea if my husband is cheating or not, but i am going to tell him how i'm feeling about her, and i am going to ask him if he has talked to the other girl and if he says no then it's the door, cuz i have the proof and he also lied so it brings me to another question if he lies about that he will tell me another!! So I would sit down with him and tell him how your feeling about this girl if she's a mutual friend and see where it goes from there, and if the communications don't stop you know he will end up cheating on you eventually!! email me if you want to talk, I'm going through it so i know how you feel and what your thinking!! Let me know how it goes.
2006-10-19 14:22:50 · answer #5 · answered by carmen b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are getting confused. Who care if he gets mad. The reason why you went and read his emails was because he made you feel insecure and suspicious. Now you found out that he LIED and WANTS TO CHEAT ON YOU and ALREADY HAVE INTIMATE CONVERSATIONS WITH ANOTHER GIRL. Wake up, sweetie! You should not put up with being treated that way! NOBODY SHOULD! Now is the time to take care of your self-esteem and let him know that you are leaving him because you will not put up with that kind of behavior... Trust me, this relationship is not going anywhere unless you don't believe that a relationship should be based on trust, honesty and respect.
2006-10-19 13:26:45 · answer #6 · answered by Oh, well! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Confront him, never mind if he gets mad. If he gets mad hes guilty. So what how you found out, hes busted. He sounds like a player, maybe nothing is going on, BUT, I would find out why he e-mailed her, or whatever, three years is a long time, how you know he hasn't played before?
2006-10-19 13:41:41 · answer #7 · answered by mybudnoobs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell him, I thought (the other girl) was your (special nickname)--I thought you wanted to dance with her at (club name) to (a certain song name). Same thing when you see her--ask has (boyfirend's name) taken you to (club name) to dance to (certain song) yet?
He will think her friends are blabbing. She will think he is blabbing. When they ask for your sources, you just say, "Oh word gets around." And in the meantime start looking for a new boyfriend because this one can't be trusted.
2006-10-19 13:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who cares if he gets mad...even if he hasnt "done anything" with her...for him to be saying that to her i still consider that cheating!!!!!!!!!! Dont u dare let him get up you from looking at his email...he obviously gave u a reason not to trust him AND as you found out you cant after all! so thats his fault!!
I once went through my b/f's phone and found suss msg's from another girl and ones he had sent to her...so first of all i just asked him if he had cheated on me with this girl, and he said no and asked why i asked him that and if his friend had told me...lol (making out that his friend was lying)...so he kinda put his foot in it there and THEN i said that i read his messages and he didnt get up me at all for it! after all...what right does he have after that!!
2006-10-19 13:34:12 · answer #9 · answered by hello hello! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to me, he doesnt seem worth your time. How would you feel in say 5 years of your being married to him and the same thing happens? Think about it. If you feel really mad now then how will you feel in 5 years. He is wrong.
2006-10-19 13:25:44 · answer #10 · answered by mouse3801 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋