What can I do with my 5yr old son and his temper?

Question

Is it like this….my 5 year old, going to turn 6 always has a temper with me and his little brother (4 yrs) and gets frustrated really quick when he cant do something ,he even talks back….. what can I do about that?

Answer 1

I have 4 children (2, 4, 8, and 10). The oldest has ADHD and before being diagnosed had extreme troubles (a child with ADHD tends to have impulse control problems, so the first thing that comes to their mind gets said/done.... hence the behavior).
First, have him seen by your dr or psychologist and see if they think there might be something there to worry about (generally you wont get an ADHD diagnosis without the child being 1st grade or higher, have extensive physical tests (to rule out anything else), and a phychological test as well specifically designed to detect ADHD tendencies).
Second, (if your dr says not to worry yet) get yourself a book/video (from local library maybe) called 1, 2, 3, magic. It tells you a system (without physical punishment) to discipline the child and still get the results you want.
I use that system in combination with another system called "My Reward Board" it tracks the childs chore chart as well as goals they make and allows them to keep track of points they earn (for doing their chores or meeting goals) they can also track allowance (if you do allowances, we dont in our house... we use the points from this board). For bad behaviors you are able to deduct points and the points accumulate for the child to "buy" things they want from the rewards (the rewards YOU create).

So for example: I have "go to the movies" as a 3000 point reward... so something they are able to earn approximately once a month. Then the child who gets that gets to go to the movies with the adult of their choosing (me, daddy, or one of the grandparents) they also get a "snack pack" (which is popcorn, candy, and drink all kid sized) This is all paid for by the parents (me, in our case). The children who didnt earn their movie or chose to save for something else and didnt want to do the movie then stay at home with the other parent, or a babysitter, or a grandparent.... whomever we worked out for that day.
This program has a free trial to test it out... and then its a one time cost, you get any upgrades for free and can use it for up to 3 seperate computers. http://www.MyRewardBoard.com

With ANY program consistency and positive reinforcement are key.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Is he in school? How is he doing there? If everything is going well at school, this is deffinately a behavior issue. You need to find out what's frustrating him. Is he jealous of the 4 year old? Another thing to think about, is he doing age appropreiate activities when he gets frustrated? He may be a little over stimulated. Maybe you need to downsize the activity.
Once you figure out the root of the problem you can come up with a behavior plan. You can make a sticker chart. He can put on a sticker for every hour he is nice to you and his brother. If he gets 5 stickers in a roll, he can recieve a reward, that might include doing something special with you. You can set it up any way you want.
Another thing to think about. He may not understand that his behavior is not acceptabible. You can make little signs to show him when he's misbehaving. When he's doing a good job, have the green sign up, or a smiley face. If he's starting to misbehave, put up a yellow sign, or a straight face, when he blows it, put up a red sign, or a frown face. When he gets that, he will have consinsquences for the action. Put him in time out, or take something away that he likes. You can reward him if he has mostly green up all day.
You just need to be firm and follow through with his punishment.

If he is having problems at school, you can work with the teacher on a behavior plan to coincide with the school plan.
Good luck.

Answer 3

It's sad because you want to show love at all times but you have to do this by letting him know YOU are the boss. At least for now do not let him argue you into changing your mind. If he asks for something and you say no do not change that no. Fussing and stomping and yelling get him a time out in a safe bathroom with a timer going where he can hear it. It will take a few days but he will learn that temper gets him nothing worth having. Good luck, been there and did this, he turned outt fine but it was a challenge.

Answer 4

I would say to give him as much love and attention as you can when he's being good. You can't give him too much attention. But then, when he acts up, just shut your mouth and turn away from him and ignore him as if he didn't even exist. Shut a door between yourself and him if you have to. Pick up your 4-year-old to get him out of harm's way. Then, when the 5-year-old behaves, act as if it never even happened. Hug him and love on him just like you were before.

The trick is not to reward him. You've got to behave exactly the same after the tantrum as you did before the tantrum. If you're more loving or give him more attention he'll take it as a reward. During the tantrum, no attention whatsoever.

Answer 5

Hey, My mum appears after children and I am/use to be like your son and I used to be bullied in tuition however they did it in one of these method that lecturers inspiration I used to be quality, no father or mother wishes their child to be bullied and even be bullies . We preserve a 6 yr ancient who will get bullied and what we noticed used to be she used to be reluctant to speak approximately it due to the fact she inspiration each person might be angryand blame her so she'd make out like she used to be completely happy to move however she might regularly come .again relatively empty and irritated. Most lecturers now a days don't care actually they only do it for the money. They infrequently discover while any person is being bullied or becoming one. Try make him consider like if some thing is occurring you regularly have time for him and it's not his fault.

Answer 6

My daughter did this when she was young. I sent her to her room until she calmed down. I let her tell me when she was calm, not set a certain time. I'd say, 'when you're not so frustrated so you can tell me what's wrong, you can come out.' It usually took about 5-10 minutes.

Answer 7

my now 10 year old was the same way, he has ADHD and was not diagnosed till last year, he is on medication now, and so much better, he was just very frustrated, not a bad kid. take him to the doctor.

Answer 8

get him to take a deep breath or count to 5. something like that. teach him how to use his words. at first you may have to give him the words to use. even if it's after then say "next time, how should we handle this?". The next time he goes to have one remind him how he can express himself.