My son was bitten by another kid.?

Question

While undoing my son's seat belt, I ,noticed that he had a bite
mark on his wrist . My first question, to him was, how did this happen? He just said "Mama baby Owen bite you". I took pictures and,I drove back to the day care and, told the person in charge.

She said that she had not seen the bite mark ,and, that she heard him cry this morning, and that she did not know why he was crying.And she, did remember that he and another kid ,was trying to pull a toy, or something, and she does not remember,who the other kid was.
And that she would write down a report , and make me sign, and
She said that, she is not sure as to whether that child bit my son or not, and would not consider the name of which my son mentioned.
When I, asked her, if she remembers, who sat next to him, she said, that she does not remember, and does not have a 100% mind.
What do I, need to do.I am really upset, and there, has been other issues too, and it is really frustrating.
Decent answers only

My son is 32 months, and has special needs, and thought it would be nice to send him to day care for few hours to interact with other kids.

Answer 1

I work at a day care myself. let me say she probably does remember. but policy states we are not at liberty to tell the parents who the "other" child was. to avoid any prejudice against the children. kids will be kids. i work with 2 year olds and god knows if i could stop any of them who bit i would. you may see it coming and try to avoid it but your not so lucky. ratio at a day care for 2 yr olds is ten kids to one teacher. it differs among age groups. if my eyes could be on each kid at all times i would be super women. accidents happen at day cares just like at home. you have one child of a certain age multiply that by 10. yes it is very frustrating for our child to be hurt in any situation. especially if you think it was avoidable. if it is a problem or continuous speak with the director. change providers. but let me reassure you accidents happen at every day care some preventable some not. good luck and i hope your sons OK.

Answer 2

The reason why the teacher is being so secretive about the name of the other child is because that is what she is required to do by the school and usually by the state. You'll notice that whenever an accident report is written up that involves your child and another child it will always say 'another child' and not give any specific names. This is done to protect all involved. Some schools have rules that a child can only bite so many times before they are expelled from the day care enviroment. Other schools are very liberal about this issue. From the way you describe your childs communication level it would appear that he is very young (under the age of the 3). At this age it is very common for them to bite one another. You have to remember that the teacher has other children. Sometimes incidents happen without the teacher's knowledge. If a child cries often, the teacher may unknowingly neglect to look the child over for injuries. This sounds like what happened in your case. It's good to complain. But, you also have to understand that children will be children. They hit, bite, scratch, scream, and fight over toys very often and very quickly because they are not yet able to use their words to express their anger. Just last week we had a child that was biting all of the other children in the class. One of the little girls in the class was bitten on the back, mom found the bite mark when she gave her bath that night. The next night mom found another mark on her chest. The child may have cried. She may not have cried. But, without the teachers actually seeing it happen and the child not being able to use words it can easily go unnoticed. As for what to do...talk to the teacher about your concerns, talk to the director about your concerns. If you are still unhappy with what they have to say, then the best thing to do is to find another day care (which doesn't mean that your child will not be bitten again) or find another baby sitter.

Answer 3

As a preschool teacher, this scenario is quite common. And I'm guessing that the teacher really does have an idea of who the child was that did the biting, but can't tell you. That would be breaking confidentiality of the other child. You may want to know who the biter is, but it is not appropriate for the teacher to tell you. Some things may need to be considered... is this a first bite? How many staff are in the room with how many children? In traditional childcare settings, there can be as many as 12 children to one teacher... no matter how good she is at what she does, she couldn't possibly see everything all the time. It is entirely possible that if your child has limited language that she was unable to determine the cause of the crying in the morning, or just attributed it to the conflict over the toy. Biting is very common in preschool. Talk to the teacher again, but this time, not on the defensive. I know you are upset about the issue, but being angry won't help solve anything. Find out if the teacher needs help in the classroom. Perhaps a one to 12 ratio is just too high (I am lucky- I work in a center with a 1:3 ratio, but we serve 60% special needs, so it makes a big difference) and the teacher could use some assistance. Maybe she doesn't have appropriate strategies for dealing with biting. Ask what she does (in general) when a child bites. Are they removed from the area and the other child? Are they given something appropriate to bite (such as a teether or beef jerky)? Often biting is linked to an oral sensation that children need. Having something that they are allowed to bite on can really help relieve the need to bite. Other times, biting is because of the lack of words that the children have. They get angry over a toy, and don't know how to say "I want that!", so they bite to get it. Part of the teacher's curriculum needs to include daily instruction on how to talk to friends and tell them what is wanted or needed. It really is a work in progress, and it will take time. In our preschool, since we serve a 60% population of children with differing levels of abilities, we do NOT kick out a chronic biter. We develop a behavior plan that we work on to help the child. After all, say this is a sensory issue with the child... it won't be addressed if all that happens is that the child is kicked out of every preschool they attend. How does that help that child? Ok, so all the children at the preschool they were kicked out of are happy, but the child who needs help stopping biting doesn't get the help they need. I guess I come from a different perspective than most answerers in that I have dealt with children with special needs, and have had to come up with alternative plans. Biting is common in preschoolers, and just because a child bites, does not make them a bad kid... nor is it a reason to pull your child out of an otherwise good daycare. Not all incidents can be avoided- that's why they are called accidents. Be a little forgiving of the biter... there are many issues you may not know are affecting them and controlling their behavior. Pulling your child out is probably not a solution... there are biters everywhere in preschool- it's just a part of preschool life.

Answer 4

This was the same issue that caused me to pull my daughter out of a daycare facility and place her in a private home for child care. Unfortunately most child care facilities will not do much because it has to be a reoccuring event to kick a biting child out of the facility. My daughter was bit by the same child 3 times with only an incident report each time and as far as I know that child never got kicked out. Check the policy of your child care on biting children, i'm sure they will sugar coat thier policy as much as possible to prevent you from pulling your child out but ask specific questions like "If you did know 100% sure who bit my child what action would you take?" I hope your issue is resolved to your satisfaction this can be a very frustrating situation.

Answer 5

First of all...don't panic...if the skin was not broken....you do not need to take him to the doctor, as long as the skin is intact, there is no chance of introducing infection. If the skin is broken, please bring your child to the doctor, the human bite is the worse kind of bite you can get. A similar incident happend with my daughter when she was in day care. These types of things happen. Each child has their own personality and deals with situations differently. I would not pull your child out immediately...this does not mean that your provider was negligent in her duty. Children fight over toys, and at a young age do not always know how to verbally express themselves, so pinching, hitting, biting becomes the alternative. Give it some time, and if it keeps occurring, then look in to alternative care settings.

Answer 6

That happens all the time. I think all 3 of my sons have been bit before and I think they all have bit someone too. That is a phase some kids do go through and its nothing to be too upset about unless the child actually drew blood. Did it bleed? Other than that, I just leave it alone. Its going to happen. I also agree with everything that lilmisstie said.... That is exactly how daycare have to run their facilities. When I signed a report it said another child like she said.

Answer 7

I would report the day care giver, it sounds as if no one was paying attention to these children since she wasn't "sure" which child it may have been who bit your son. Get your son to the doctor, since he still had the bite marks when you picked him up it had to have been a very terrible bite. The doctor will advise you to keep an eye on it, that if it swells or turns red to get him to the ER. But please report the day care. Obviously they have too few care givers to the ratio of children and either need to cut back on their enrollment, fire a care giver or hire more. Your son was basically neglected in that day care and you have every right to be upset.

Answer 8

I would pull my child from that daycare facility quickly and report them to the proper authorities. They aren't supervising children the way they need to be. If your child doesn't have to go to daycare then I would keep him home. Yes, children do these things, but the staff are supposed to be trained in how to deal with them. The first thing that should have been done was to contact you. That never happened. I would pull him out before something worse happens. Good luck.

Answer 9

Get him out of that daycare, not only are they not supervising properly, they are not even reacting properly when they hear a child crying. She should have immediately investigated when she heard you son crying. When she saw the child next to him, she should have written a report or at least called you. It seems like she was covering it up by admitting ignorance and this is not acceptable. You may even want to check into the state licensing agency for this day care and report the incident. It is not unlikely for children to bite other children (you didn't mention how old your son or this other child was) but it should be promptly and properly addressed. What if this child drew blood, and what if he had an infection????

Answer 10

You definitely need to find a new daycare. My daughter has been bitten at school before and it was duly reported to both myself and the other child's parents. I don't know about the other poster's but in my state you are apparently allowed to tell the parents the name of the child who bit yours. It's usually in my reports. I know at the daycare my daughter attends anyone who's child repeatedly bites another child is asked to find other accommodations.