I have a sick feeling that I'm going to lose my husband in Iraq?

Question

My husband is leaving for iraq, and will be gone for a year. I have a sick feeling that i'm going to be a young widow. What do you think about these "feelings" or "hunches". My hubby also has said "I won't be surprised if I'm killed" and we've discussed in great legth his funeral, what I will do after his death, etc. Am I being prepared for the inevetable or just being too paranoid?

What he does, is provide personal security to Chaplains, and the chaps wear crosses. IT's reported that these Chaplains are being targeted now and that has raised my concern. He was gone last year for 7 months and took incoming on atleast 3 occasions, avoided a known IED on one occasion. ACK this is making me crazy. I happen to like him alot in addition to the love part (those in marriage know what i mean).
make me feel better please.

Answer 1

Hey, it must be really hard watching a loved one go, knowing that they are heading into danger. I suppose its good that you'v made preparations should the worst happen, but you cant let yourself obsess about what might or might not happen, instead cherish the time that you have together, make the most of it because you will never look back on your life and wish that you had spent more time worrying or being anxious. I agree with the answer above, get involved with a service partner support group or somewhere where you can talk about your worries.
Finally, its perfectly natural to get hunches or feelings, its weird the way the mind works in stressful times - try not to read too much into it.

wish you and you husband all the best

Answer 2

It's good that you're getting all your ducks in a row in case something does happen but, realize that the majority come back unscathed. As someone said before, join a support group. There should be one within the unit that your husband is with. Those people will give you support while your husband is gone in case something happens while he's gone here at the home front (e.g. car breaks down and you don't have money to fix it). If you don't know how to get in contact with said group, contact the OMBUDSMAN for his unit and they'll help you further. Since you said he wears a cross, I can assume that he's an RP if he's in the Navy. Don't know the MOS for the Army. I'm an HM FMF(same as 91W with combat medic badge if you're Army)and we're the ones that used to be targeted because we wore red crosses. In the field, he'll still wear a cross but, it'll be painted a dull black and unless you were within about 20 feet, you wouldn't be able to distinguish the cross from the Marine CorpsArmy rank insignia. I hope I helped you and gave you some piece of mind.

Answer 3

I just got back from Iraq and you do have a hard road ahead of you. Your job as a wife of a soldier is probably harder then that job of the soldier. It is not a bad thing to be prepared for the worst but you do not need to talk about all this. If you two do anything you should have him write you a letter and close it and you should not even open it unless something happens. Your husband has a long road ahead of him as well as you, but you and him just need to stay strong for each other and he will be back in no time. They tell you to not worry you soldier of things going on at home but don't listen to that, stay honest and truthful with your soldier. You soldier will be a little on edge the first few months being in country, but after that he will become, not comfortable, but a little more relaxed in his new environments, and he will get through everything just fine. Good luck and be strong for each other.

Answer 4

Deployment is a highly stressful time, and as hard as it is, you need to relax. True, your husband could be injured or worse, but odds of that happening are actually very low. The media touts the negative numbers so often it's all we're able to focus on.

Find other spouses in your area that have deployed sponsors. Talk to them. You will find the support relieving. If you ever feel you cannot cope, go into your nearest Airman Family Readiness Center (used to Family Support) or Family Adovacy (that's what ranchesthey're called at AFBs, I'm not sure what they are at other branches). They have programs in place to help you through this difficult time.

Try not to make yourself too upset. You and your husband will overcome whatever comes at you. Write him and send packages as often as you can. Even if he doesn't always get back to you right away, it will help you.

Answer 5

Telling you to stop being paranoid will not help the feelings that you have. These feelings are normal when someone that you deeply love is away from you.

Young mothers experience "feelings" the first time that they leave their child at kindergarten.

Some wives get these feelings if their husbands have to extensively travel in their jobs.

Your Family Support Center will be able to help you.

Hope (Pray) for the best, but be prepared for the worst. Just remember, most return without a scratch. Just be there to support him. I pray for all of our service members, daily.

Answer 6

My Grand mother always said, hope for the best but be prepared for the worst. You have the preparations for the worst almost completed. Now is the time to work on hope for the best. Stay as positive as possible, love each other like tomorrow is the last day, you should be doing that anyway. Keep communicating these feelings. Never stop being positive. Never. Easier said the done, but it can be done. Each day, little steps. But every day.

Answer 7

The likelihood of something like that happening is so close to zero it's not even funny. With the current casualty rate, an average of one to two soldiers a day are being KIA. Out of 165,000 soldiers. That gives your husband a nearly 100% certainty that he'll be returning home to you alive and in one piece.
It's normal to worry. But I'm sure he'll be fine. It depends on where he is. Perhaps once he's settled in, and can tell you where he is, you'll feel better. One of the "hot spots" right now is Ramadhi. That's where the guys from my post are. We've lost less than thirty soldiers.

Answer 8

You probably just have normal feelings about it. Those feelings don't have any influence on an actual out come. Look, I don't even know if we will be alive one hour from now. I could slip and fall, get hit by a meteor or lighning, have a car accident or worse have some one break in to my house or something.
I wish you well. After a year, LOOK BACK ON THIS QUESTION and ask your self if the worry was worth it. My best goes out to you.
Oh... And make sure YOU stay safe too!!!!
If it could help you- My grandfather and 6 brothers went to WWII and all 7 came back.

Answer 9

He 's a soldier and knows the consequuences of the game ... try and spare a thought for all the young Iraqi widows whos husbands didnt invade anyone but just bombed in their own country

Answer 10

Pray for the best, but of course it's best to be prepared for the worst. The first 2 times my sister left to Iraq we were fine, this last time was really hard though. We had those same feelings you describe. I know it's nerve racking, but try to keep your good friends and family members close by to keep your mind off things. It's perfectly normal to be concerned. When he comes home you'll be overjoyed.