I am full time nursing student. I graduate June 14th. Recently found out I am pregnant, my due date is June 3rd. My husband at first, insisted that I have an abortion. Now, myself..I'm not against abortion, but personally I didn't think I could do it. But the more I thought about it, the more I started to think about how hard it would make school, I wouldn't be allowed in isolation rooms, I'd have to buy a new uniform (which are $100) due to my increasing belly size, plus I already have 2 small children, etc, etc. Just tonight my husband said if I wanted to have the baby, he was fine with it. I love children, would never do anything to harm a child, but I feel I have a very big desicion to make right now, and I'm not sure what I should do. Please no ANTI ABORTION ppl, just people who are in the same position with abortion as myself, I need some real advice.
2006-10-19 12:00:17 · 17 answers · asked by devil_kitty22 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
First, I gotta say that I'm pro-life, but I will try VERY hard to look at your situation objectively and not be rude, okay?
I'm sure you're not suggesting someone on here who neither knows you nor your situation say "yes, you should absolutely abort" or "no, you really shouldn't". I wish it were that easy.
Unfortunately, this is one of those situation where NO ONE, not even your own husband, can tell you what would be best for you. That said, I think it may help you to talk to someone older whom you respect, but who will not be judgemental one way or the other. The older I've gotten (and the more scrapes I've gotten myself into), the more I respect the opinion of women who have experienced more than I have, and have worked through their own problems.
Typically, I would advocate for adoption, but at least a few of your reasons for being worried about having this baby has to do with carrying the baby to term, not necessarily with dealing with it afterwards.
Ultimately, you have to think about how you really feel about abortion, and if it's something you could deal with for the rest of your life. If you think you would look back to this time and regret it, as difficult as the pregnancy and having another small child would be, that could very well be much worse.
How did you feel about it before your husband insisted you get the abortion? Not that that would make much of a difference any way, but if you're in a moment right now where you have gotten used to that idea as the best solution, make sure the ultimate decision is YOUR decision (not left-over feelings that your husband wants the abortion).
It may help to ask your professors/head nurses or whoever makes decisions about your assignments until you finish nursing school if there are options to allow you to do your school work while you're pregnant (my little sister is a nurse, and she carried to term and still worked, but that was after she was through with nursing school, and she's an L&D nurse).
Basically, I think you should make SURE of facts, and if you have any doubts about it, think it through really thoroughly and make the most informed decision you can.
If you decide to go through with the abortion, but have some mixed feelings about it, I would also suggest counseling (I'm a big fan of counseling).
Good luck to you either way. :-)
2006-10-19 13:17:47 · answer #1 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I'm not someone in the same position but I'm also not an anti-abortion person so here's my advice: do what you feel in your heart because it's a HUGE decision whether to just get rid of the baby or keep it and have to spend a ton of money I do think that if money really is a problem to buy all the new things then maybe you have to have an abortion but if money is not to big of a problem then i think you should keep it. Sorry if that didn't help but that's all I can say.
2006-10-19 20:18:53 · answer #2 · answered by true_love_4ever92 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do research from both sides before you make your choice. While you might have problems from carrying the baby to term, there's also evidence that says women who have abortions can suffer from depression, regret and some medical complications, which are all things you want to weight in.
Also, you can probably get financial support to help you with the baby. Many churches (mine, for instance) offers financial support to people that need it, and I can't imagine there'd be many churches who would be heartless enough to decry abortion but then not put forth a little money if it was necessary to prevent one.
Also think that if you have the baby, you can always put it up for adoption. There's a long waiting list for adopted babies, and yours will have a good chance of finding a loving home.
And whatever decision you make, don't make it hastily. Think through all of the ramifications before you commit to it, or you'll regret it. If you decide to carry the baby to term, but you didn't realize the sacrifice it would entail, you'll suffer, and if you abort the baby but you didn't realize the guilt you'd have, you'll suffer. Make a wise choice.
2006-10-19 19:24:37 · answer #3 · answered by Cookiemobsta 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm pro-life, but that's me. Just make sure that your decision isn't based just on the next year of your lives. It might be difficult and costly, but easy doesn't enter into adult life. If you and your husband are otherwise prepared, have this baby - it'll be all the sweeter for how much you both sacrificed to make it happen. You'll be a family, not just a couple. Also, there is a risk, as I'm sure you know, that abortions can effect you future chances of conception. Be sure you don't have any issues in your family or in your own history. A small risk, but it would be horrible for you. If you are spiritual, pray to your God (Goddess?) and talk, talk, talk, to your hubby. Good Luck and I'll pray for you to find your way. (Whatever that is.)
2006-10-19 20:18:41 · answer #4 · answered by devilUknow 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How could a nurse who is already a mother even consider abortion as a solution to any problem?
You are a responsible adult. You know how to make this work. Pull it together girl! Stop looking at all of the negatives and find a way to do the right thing!
2006-10-19 19:19:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure since you already said you dont think you could do it that you wouldnt be able to. I know I wouldnt be able to live with myself after the fact and it sounds like you wouldnt either. this is a good area to be in when having to support children so dont give up on school, just take it day by day graduation is so close to babys birthday so its not like you are going to have to miss a ton of school after the baby is born so thats perfect 11days I am sure you can struggle through it. how about buying your uniform at wal-mart or even a thrift store, just while you are pregnant??? anyways Its a tough discision and I wish you the best of luck just remeber this is a decision you are going to have to live with for the rest of your life either way. not many decisions in life are this serious. good luck
2006-10-19 19:34:20 · answer #6 · answered by Brandi D 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was a 19 year old college student when I found out I was pregnant with my oldest daughter. I chose to have her and despite the financial difficulties, I am so glad I made that decision. Some things are meant to be. Look into your heart. Only you know if you really want to have this baby. In my opinion no child should be born if it is truly unwanted, but the decision shouldn't be made solely on finances.
2006-10-19 19:09:27 · answer #7 · answered by Stacey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're right. You don't need any propoganda, either way. Believe it or not, there are lots of people who believe that contraception, PREVENTING the birth by preventing conception, is wrong. So it has to be a personal decision.
Millions of American women chose to get an abortion. It IS an important decision, but these women chose not to have an unwanted child. You can chose this, too. Or not. But in the end it is YOUR decision, not anyone else's. If you feel comfortable with it, and if you feel you can do it without regrets, then this is my advice: go ahead and get the procedure as soon as possible. But you need to accept your choice and move on. You can have children later and have a happy life with your family.
I wish you the best. Create a happy life for yourself!
2006-10-19 19:11:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 3⤋
U SHOULD NOT ABORT ITS NOT RIGHT
THIS IS JUST ONE OF THE MAJOR SACRIFICES U HAVE TO MAKE
U ARE PREGNANT SAVE THE MONEY FOR A NEW UNIFORM THIS IS A JOB U ARE REFERRING TO WHICH U CAN GO RIGHT BACK INTO WHEN U FINISH I MEAN YOUR HEALTH IN THIS CHILD IS MORE IMPORTANT SO HAVE TE BABY MAKE NEW PLANS AND PRORITIZE WITH YOUR HUSBAND AND LIVE ON.
DONT ROB AN INNOCENT CHILD OF ITS LIFE. I MEAN C'MON
2006-10-19 20:16:57 · answer #9 · answered by SWEET S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will live to regret an abortion, trust me, I have. I went thru the situation as you, and have lived to regret it. Please go to your supervisor and let him/her know how you truily feel, and that you don't want to jepordize your education. They are people too, and I know that there have been women in your situation before, and they will help you out. All is not lost., now if you see that you want to carry the baby but give it up for an adoption, there are good parents out there.I understand your situation, its your body/your life and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You will find the right answer, but 1st go to your administrator/instructor. ok?
2006-10-19 19:21:55 · answer #10 · answered by twanda_C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋