My husband smacked me across the face today, what should i do?

Question

i am afraid that if i call the cops or divorce him that he will do something bad to my children and haunt us forever! Please help me! I'm so scared right now! He has done this several times before! :(

Answer 1

I know is sounds difficult but, breath deeply.
Take a few moments. Take care of our face if he left any open wounds.
I would consider things carefully, and do not rush.
You need a plan.
Regain control.

If he is not in the house, call the national help line (if you have one in your country) or the police information number. Find out which are your options: is there a women shelter you can get to? can you get an order or him not to get close (how long will that take?)
If anyone you trust knows about this situation, call them also.
Consider the possibility of having a couple of friends (at least one male) to stay with you in you house while you can organized.

Now.
Can the police get HIM out of the house and assure you that you will be safe?
after gathering the info... which seems to be the best option?

See, speaking from a violent experience which luckly enough did not get to physical violence, I think you must keep in mind that there are two types of decisions to be taken here:
short term
long term.

The short term ones must involve you getting out of his action range, or getting HIM out of yours. THis will involve talking to the children. Please think of them. They need you with them. Moreover, they need a happy mother, and for that he needs to get out of the scene. Should them YOU can protect THEM by protecting yourself.

See, I called the cops when my boyfriend got very violent. In my country, they got HIM out of my house. that was the short term plan. It did not need much. I just did not even think about it. Iput my personal safety before anything else. Had there been children, I would have called way earlier.

The long term ones might involve him getting therapy or you divorcing him. I would not give much thought to them now. They are scary and often difficult decisions, and you will need to be in peace and safe before you can consider them. Just know that whether he haunts you or not is up to YOU, not him. Go step by step. Do not suggest therapy now, he might explote. Your priority right now is to stop the situation.

See, the guy that I am talking about followed me all the way from the UK to Chile, my homeland. At the uk I had nothing to do, I did not know the laws, and I had noone. I got to Chile, to my family, and by the time he arrived I had everything figured out. But I know that only by getting to a safe environment I was able to take tough decisions.

Now, I work with energy. So I suggest this:
Think, feel, imagine or think about blue light that surrounds you. Let it expand to your children. Do it often, it makes YOU stronger, it protects the kids and it does not harm him.

You can do it. You can get out if this. YOU deserve a happy life, no matter what. your kids deserve it too.

do not rush, but take action. The first tiny step is truly believing: "not again". later you can go to "I still love him""saving the marriage", "getting an income that can sustain me and the children" etc. one thing at the time.

and yes, ask for help. if you do not believe in god, then ask universal energy, or love`s light. I learnt, through violence and other situations and lately through peace also, that you are NEVER alone.

And all these people sending you their ideas and thoughts are also helping to protect you. in one way or the other, they are, as I am, touched by your experience.

take care of yourself. I mean it.
much love,
Sofia

Answer 2

Take your kids and leave the house. Go someplace safe. Call the police and insist on making a report. No matter what you do after this, your incident will be recorded. You may exercise some pretty poor judgment in the coming months, and whether you are willing to admit it or not you will not be the best advocate for either you or your kids safety and well being. Let the events be recorded so that they may speak for you when you cannot or will not speak for yourself.

You are no longer in control of this situation. You are in no position to determine what actions will or will not produce the results you want down the road. You made a few errors in judgement to get to this point. No blame, just fact. So, you are tied together, forever, through your children and in that capacity, you will be haunted by him forever. You chose him, you had kids with him, that is not something you can undo or run from.

After you are in a safe place and have made a police report, find a women's center, make an appointment, and keep it. Then listen carefully to their advice and follow it.

Change your world girl. Women do it every day. I wish you the very est of luck.

Answer 3

You MUST report him, don't let him bully you anymore. You should most definitely be making plans on leaving him - start now - and take your children with you, as far away as you can possibly get. There is a saying which goes something like this: "The first time he hits you, you are the victim. The second time he hits you - you are the volunteer."

This is sadly very true.. as most of these abusive men never change. If it's in his messed up nature to hit.. and it seems like it is, as he has done this to you several times before - then the only thing that might possibly help is for him to admit he has a very serious problem, and then to go and get help, which might mean him attending some proper anger management classes on a regular basis, possibly for quite some time.

But if he refuses to even admit to having a problem, then get out. No ifs, no buts, no maybes. He may act all lovey-dovey with you most days, which will no doubt lull you into a false sense of security, but they can flip at any time - the danger is always there with these kind of men. Refuse to let your children see that kind of behavior as being "normal" - they deserve much better and so do you. Get some supportive help. And good luck. :-)

Answer 4

Have a lot of courage and leave him take your kids and go to a shelter or to a family house and call the cops and get a restraining order. because if you stay what probably he would not do to you when you live hes going to do to you when your in the house. think About the CHILDREN what would they think, and when their older. Don't be scared because if another accident is even worst. then your really going to have problems. good luck, And have allot of courage & let him go for your children safety and for you.

Answer 5

You need to file a complaint with the cops so there is a record of abuse otherwise if you do get a divorce it will be easier with a record of his abuse. If your too scared to go to the police document the abuse yourself take pictures so when you are ready to leave him you'll have proof of abuse.

I wish you the best of luck, you should get out as soon as possible. It maybe scary, but you can't live like that.

Answer 6

Get you and your kids out of there as soon as possible. Contact the authorities. Staying would be like living with a ticking time bomb and that's even more of a risk. There are shelters for these type of conflicts. Taking these steps will help you, your kids and your husband, seeing he's unstable, he can get some help.
Let your family live in fear no longer, LEAVE. BEST LUCK!

Answer 7

He did what you better do like Madea and get involuntary man slaughter, you don't ever let a man put his hands on you. Why did he smack you in the first place. You need to go to the police get a restraining order i know someone that was in your same situation now that person has alot of jail time God will help you threw prey honey prey for your children and for him also

Answer 8

and you think by staying it will be better for you and your chidren
my Hus treating me the next day I look for an appartment
take the kids and left
he did try to hunt me down, I decided that i either cry or fight so I fight him, he is so scare of me that even hearing my name send him into hiding
remember man are chiwawaw you are the big dog if you put your foot down
get your children out of the house if you have big brothers or friend & parent arrange a meeting with them record everything for the police and show him that you are not alone
man abuse us when they think that we will not tell because we are too embarass or if we don't have any family around
well get your family around you talk, tell people call the police show them the mark that he left
I was able to leave because I know that I have my family &friend to back me up
Good luck

Answer 9

If this is not an isolated incident, you need to bring up your courage and leave this guy. Especially he is violent type, he is not going to get better without professional help, you are just prolonging the danger to you AND your children! File a police report, find someone you can confide with. Take your kids and leave, don't go to places that he expects to find you (like your friend's house, parents' house, etc). Get out of town, find a women's shelter away from your area. Go to church and ask for help, anything!

Answer 10

Hey,
My husband did that to me also, I use to always threat him, he finally quit believing me, and when he did it to me July 1st, he told me to get up and go to bed, I told him that I wasn't going to bed, I was calling the police, he said you ain't calling nobody, and took the phone off the hook, I said fine, then I am going to the police station, he told me to go and to call my dad and tell my dad that he hit me, so I went and I also called my dad, my dad called him, and he told my dad that he didn't do it...Well, the police went to my house and arrested him, and he was locked up for 3 days since it was a holiday...Normally, they locked up for 24 hours, well, after I bailed him out, I packed almost all of my stuff and move in with my parents, I also took my 2 babies with me!!!! Then in August I move back home, and we made up, I am pregnant again!!! I mean it is hard, but he knows that I ain't going to play around anymore...Just call the police, move out, make him think of what good he had and now he doesn't, and I am sure ya'll will be able to work it out if it was meant to be!!! Don't be scared...Remember God is on your side!!! He will never leave you or forsake you....If you need anymore help, you can email me!!! I be happy to talk to you and help you out the best I can!!! Keep in mind, I felt the same way you did!!