My future husband has a kid from a previous marriage. When we get married, do I have a say in matters dealing with the kid? (The mother of the kid is not in the picture)
2006-10-19 11:38:41 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't have any resentment towards the kid. I love and care for the son. I was trying to be secretive by using the term "kid". At least I didn't call the kid it.
2006-10-19 11:57:56 · update #1
I do accept the son as my own. I was just told in another question that since the kid was from a previous marriage I had no say in anything. It irritated me because I consider the son to be my son. I'm the only "mom" he has ever known. As my son I would think that I would have some say especially after we get married.
2006-10-19 12:01:59 · update #2
absolutely. i have a son my husband is his dad and only him. if hes good enough to love him hes good enough to reprimand him when needed and make important decisions in his life.
2006-10-19 11:47:32 · answer #1 · answered by cheffu17 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your situation is very similar to mine except that my fiance and I are already living together and my 17 yr old step daughter lives with us, her mother is also not in the picture except for an occasional birthday card but I treat my step daughter just as she was my own and I love her like she was my own also. You on the other hand seem to have some resentment towards the child bcuz you refer to her as "the kid", if you want to have a say in the "dealings" with this child maybe you should start loving and accepting her/him as your own, especially because he/she does not have a mother in her/his life!
2006-10-19 18:54:48 · answer #2 · answered by Pildi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a step son he was 2 when we first met he is now 16, i found the best way is to let his dad deal with any matters that arise. If you dont agree talk to your husband about it when the childs not around.One thing not to do is force your opinions and start to make dad a piggy in the middle.
2006-10-19 18:44:19 · answer #3 · answered by collnto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the child's Mother is not in the picture, there may be times when she would look to you for answers and decisions. It may not happen all at once, but I would just go with the flow. Take it step by step, one day at a time. Certainly let her know you care and are interested in her life.
2006-10-19 18:47:55 · answer #4 · answered by PEPPER 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The most important thing in a marriage is commitment and communication. You should be talking to your husband about how you see your relationship together ...setting goals and looking at what your life will be like. It's up to the two of you.
2006-10-19 18:42:51 · answer #5 · answered by heartwhisperer2000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he spends more time with u then he does with his dad then yes u do have sum say but how u do is sumthing u have to talk abt with ur hubby.. if not then no u cant or at lest try to get familiar with the kid and vice versa and that takes at lest a year. but try to get to knw him/her spend a day with him/her make it a week thing (if he/she isnt 12 and above) or sumthing age appro.but if ur gonna deciplin u got to show the love first.
2006-10-19 19:27:55 · answer #6 · answered by baby gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well they might see you as controlling at first when you are really not so yeah you have a say so just take baby steps because my stepdad took control of me when he wasn't even my dad i was like who is he to come in and control me but explain it to your husbend and kids and talk about it
2006-10-19 18:43:14 · answer #7 · answered by beautifulqueen0777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to discuss this with your husband, But you will be the stepmother and should have a say in the child raising!
2006-10-19 18:44:04 · answer #8 · answered by Gerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋