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okay, i have a knack for choosing the wrong guys and dating them n always get hurt, i am plannin tto leave dating altogether, But any advice. On what to look for in a guy??

How do i know if he is worthy of a relationship or not, cause Ive gone with the physical Spark, but thats just got heloped at all

N i wanna experience a actual relationships.

my last 2 Bf's were messed up - How do i find a right guy?? what do i look for?? how will i be able to choose n tell??

2006-10-19 11:28:57 · 9 answers · asked by Franky 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

9 answers

Well, this is a difficult one... There are the "obvious" things, and not so obvious ones. To me, the obvious includes something like: he can't be an alcoholic, drug addict, sex addict, a player, a loser, a selfish a cruel person... You get the idea. The not-so-obvious things are harder to pinpoint. Most of the time it just "feels" right - or it doesn't. I think it really helps to be looking for someone who shares your core values; it's probably not going to be a happy relationship if you like to do active things, and he's a couch potato, for example. Often you will get the feeling of it being "right" or "wrong" from the interaction with this person; it's not something one can put their finger on. Physical spark alone is not a sign whether or not this relationship might work; you can be physically attracted to people with whom you would never consider a long-term relationship. I think, it's a combination of many factors, and listening to your instincts can often bring it together for you.

2006-10-19 11:57:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It would probably be best for you to take a bit of time off. Just relax for awhile! Do some stuff that you like, and avoid relationships until you feel its right. When you get back into the dating game, do so carefully.

Put a bit of thought into your next relationship. We're all a bit "messed up". Some more then others. Just remember that it takes time. You don't want to rush into finding a good relationship. It'll happen when it happens.

2006-10-19 11:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. Robot 2 · 0 0

That's kind of a hard question as anyone can show a great game face...at first. But either way...Someone with a job, who respects people, is kind and honest, that cares about you, isn't controlling or possessive. All-in-all I think your biggest problem is you let the relationship go too fast. Take it slow, get to know each other then decide whether or not you should date.

2006-10-19 11:35:43 · answer #3 · answered by blackcola05 2 · 0 0

One can't always tell if one man is right for you. Before going out with a man, get to know him first. Talk over coffee, take short walks or something. Sometimes you won't know if he's the right guy until you got out with him several times. If you think he could be wrong for you, break up with him before it goes bad.

2006-10-19 11:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Rommie 7 · 0 0

Dr. Phil has a great book on this with a check list. It really cleared my head. The book has been out for a couple of years so you might even find it in the library.

2006-10-19 11:50:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anna W 2 · 0 0

stop going strictly on the the physical spark. look for an intellectual connection. find a common ground and try to have a meaningful conversation

2006-10-19 11:33:14 · answer #6 · answered by Trayne 1 · 0 0

i got the same problem with girls. i always seem to get stuck with the wrong ones. hell, the last 3 left me for one of their exes, which made me feel like sh*t. u just gotta tough it out. eventually u'll find a good guy, just like i know i will find a good girl. my buddy says he gives up on girls and what not. im sorry, but i LOVE girls waaaaaaay too much to just give up on them and stop dating all together. hey, if the guys a jerk, thats one less guy u gotta worry about and just that much closer to the one that'll treat u right! dont worry, you'll find one. just be patient and have fun with it!

2006-10-19 11:37:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

all i have to say is that be friends for a like a mouth and see how he is and see if he is a nice guy not a mean guy that what i would do

2006-10-19 11:37:02 · answer #8 · answered by ali 1 · 0 0

Stop. Look right. Look left. Go !

2006-10-19 11:44:09 · answer #9 · answered by BGL G 2 · 0 0

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