Should I invite my Mother to my wedding?

Question

I did not know my Mom until I was 13. She never cared enough to stay around. My dad raised me and my sisters.

I have never been close with her and recently she has done things that have been very hurtful to my sisters an me.

I am really torn here beacuse if I dont invite her i will probably never see or hear from her again.

Answer 1

If you think her presence will not disrupt your ceremony or reception, consider sending an invitation. She probably won't come anyway.

If she is likely to say something hurtful or get in the way somehow, leave her out of it. Would it make the experience better for your dad if she wasn't there?

Answer 2

I dont think anyone can give you a cut and dry yes or no answer. Search your heard. Your wedding day should be filled with love and happiness. If you truly believe she would stand between you and your happiness, then do not invite her. However, because she is your mother, and if you're like me, you are already inviting others whom you do not know all that well, go ahead and let her share in your fun. I'm not saying sit her on the front row, but allow her a piece of cake and punch and maybe this will turn things around. Should you choose the latter, and are not comfortable, and feel she might over-step her boundaries, you might suggest to the best man, and your moh that they might have to polietly escort her out. You might even have an usher sit or stand near the back door during the ceremony if she hasnt arrived to keep her from interupting if she's truly stange, (or a good idea for any guest who's late, my husband's cousin actually thought they were going to let her take her seat through the same doors that the bridesmaids were walking through during the ceremony. uhhh)

Answer 3

I think you are in a very hard place and maybe some didnt realize how hard this is for you. My own opinion is that you should invite your Mother. My reason is that you dont know what the future might bring there may come a day when Mom is the one there for you. You can change a bad situation into a positive beginning for your marriage because really you dont really know why she hasnt been there or if you do know then maybe her situation will change. She was there on the first most important day of your life let her be there for your second most important day too. Lots of luck to you and your family and congrats on your marriage.

Answer 4

You will never change the way your mother is. You may never understand where she is coming from, or what the reasons are that made her that way. The fact that your father raised you to be a good person shows that you have overcome the lack of raising from your mother. I would invite her. If you have any close male friends or family members who have strong personalities, you may ask them that if your mother gets out of line at your wedding, if they would be kind enough to escort her out. Then it would be her loss and not yours. The fact that you state you may never see her again if you don't invite her shows that you want to have a relationship, so I would at least give it a shot. Weddings are to be happy and to be shared. Good luck with your mother, and best of luck with the new hubby!

Answer 5

Unfortunately you probably will have to invite her if you still want her in your life and are not willing to let her go. If you plan to work things out some day, then being hurtful to her back, or because you are hurt is not the right reason to do that.

However, if you are pretty sure that you are finished with her in your life (and this includes if you and your husband have children ), then you are not obligated.

Your wedding should not be used as a means of teaching her a lesson. BUT, it should be a day of new life and the best day of yor life.

Answer 6

Invite her. Chances are that if she hasn't been around in the past she won't come to this. And if she does than you still get to have your mother there. I just wouldn't do the typical "mother" things. Corsage. Special seat. Maybe a picture or 2 tops. Nothing too put too much effort in making her think none of the things in the past happened. It is YOUR day and don't let her get in the way.

Answer 7

You should probably invite her but you are the only one who knows for sure. Do what you know in your heart is best for you. If you do invite her, you do not have to include her or make her a part of the actual wedding. She can simply be a guest and nothing more.

Answer 8

my husband and his mother don't get along. When we got married we invited her, just beacuse she is his mother. She never showed up, her excuse was she was sick, but the next day she was at her grandchild's birthday party. We thought this was funny, because my husband's step grand mother made it and she was going through chemo at the time, she stayed only for a few minutes but for her to make that effort made our day. I say be the bigger person, invite her, then let everyone see exactly how she is. You can always ask her to leave if she starts to upset your day.

Answer 9

I have a similar situation. I have a horrible, drug addicted mother. I haven't spoken to her in over a year. I used to live down the street from her, and in the 5 years that I lived there, she came by twice. Oh, and she has forgotten mine and my children's' birthdays repeatedly. I have decided that inviting my mother would be a mistake. She doesn't deserve to share my happy day. This is something you should decide on your own though. Every situation is different and it is your choice...no one else's. Do what you feel would be the best decision for yourself!

Answer 10

You can invite her to the wedding and not to the reception if you choose. Were these hurtful things intentional? Your wedding should be a happy event. Don't have her there if she would spoil the day for you and your guests. She doesn't get a free pass just because she bore you.